Was I unfair to send this text to my partner just now . . . I think many followers of my previous posts will agree it was a long time coming

[Roundedbuttocks90]

Put your big boy pants on, look at the bigger picture, do a bit more for yourself, realise and be THANKFUL for how much help you do get instead of stomping off like a spoiled child. Maybe I should stop looking after your daughter for the majority of the time she's here. Stop doing all of the cooking and cleaning. Stop buying all of the food in. Stop insuring/taxing/testing/fuelling the car that YOU are using and abusing because you don't hav the balls to stand up to the person who isn't pulling her weight. YOU DON'T HAVE MUG WRITTEN ACROSS YOUR FOREHEAD AND NEITHER DO I!!!!!!!! Who was paying to feed your daughter while she was here 4 nights a week (at least) whilst you were still giving her mother fucking maintainence!!?? Cos it sure as shit wasnt you, was it? No it was me!!!!!

We had a massive row last night after we had paid the service bill for MY car. He is doing 350+ per week in it to pick up his daughter and take her back as her mother refuses to share travelling.

DH said that he has to see his daughter and it shouldn't be an issue. £550+ service bill for my car is a fucking issue I me!!! The travelling to and for has taken its toll and we are copping for it. He agreed to pay half of the bill and asked me to get his money out of the cash machine (as he can't/won't use them.)

I drew the money out and got him a balance. I didn't check the balance as 1. I was in a pan shite with DH for defending his ex yet again and 2. I don't feel as though I should be looking at his balance. He thingy I ha overdrawn him and completely flipped out. Called me a useless bitch etc etc.

He told me that the travelling situation 'doesn't even come into it as I need to see my daughter.' All the while that poor little girl is being dragged back and forth several times a week like she is some possession tht he feels he has a right to!
Oh and DSD's mum can't do half of the travelling because 'he hasn't got a job' but doesn't he realise that by agreeing to do all of the travelling he is just allowing her to sit on her arse and not bother to find one! So much for the court order he threatened her with!!

One and DDs bags are packed. Actually can't wait to get away from all of this shite.

Sorry for the rant and thank you to ever mums better who has offered me advice and supported me :)

[BoyFromTheBigBadCity]

GO OP!

[SquigglySquid]

I remember your last thread. Glad you're leaving, he completely took advantage of you.

[CloverHeart]

I didn't post in your last thread OP but remember it well.

Good on you for getting out. Stick to your guns and don't let him accuse you of ANYTHING like having an affair. He needs to face up to the fact that it is ALL HIS FAULT.

[Roundedbuttocks90]

Thank you every one!! This site has been a godsend for me!


I would never have contemplated leaving him before and maras 2 that's made me giggle

[GatoradeMeBitch]

Enjoy your freedom!!

[rumbleinthrjungle]

Well done Rounded, I've followed your threads for a while and you've given this man every possible chance. Take that freedom and go find a real grown up who deserves you. One that tries as hard to make you as happy as you work on making him.

[Thanks]

[rumbleinthrjungle]

even ......

[Roundedbuttocks90]

Although I know its not DSDs fault I am so relieved about not having to spend the summer with a child who has never been taught how to be respectful, polite, well behaved and can now rest assured that her attitude won't rub off on my DD.

[ZenGardener]

You sound happy to be free and I don't blame you. I think you are so much better off without him. Good luck!!

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Well done you! Stay strong.

[DontPutMeDownForCardio]

Well done op youre well off out of it.

[whois]

I've read your previous threads.

He's a useless waste of space. You need to break up - you'd be financially better off without him and emotionally too!

[hellsbellsmelons]

Well done.
You sound relieved and it's hardly surprising.
It's not gonna be easy but you will get there.
Keep the anger. Keep strong.
You've done so well.
Take all the love and sympathy you can from family and friends. They are the ones that will help you get through this.

[5Foot5]

Oh and if you do have any wobbles just come back here girl! We will help keep you strong

[Icimoi]

It must be tempting to move somewhere as far away as his ex but in diametrically the opposite direction, and be just as obstinate as she is about access. Not that I'm suggesting you do anything of the sort, of course ...

[Icimoi]

What happened that led to the police being called?

[HeartsTrumpDiamonds]

The sense of relief in your posts is palpable OP!

[popcornpaws]

Can i just say, if you ever start to wobble, read over your posts and imagine thats your daughters life in years to come and how you would feel if she was living with someone who treated her like that!

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Well done OP, sounds long overdue.

You've got to do that painful but really amazing thing of refocusing on you and what you and your baby want and need - you're life doesn't revolve around his needs and his approval any more.

Give it a while, and you'll decompress and love it.

[Roundedbuttocks90]

I had a wobble a few days ago when DD was crying for her daddy. I just left her to it and let her cry it out. He's been ringing me non-stop and I've explained to him that I will speak to him regarding arrangements for our daughter only and when he's calmed down.

I can't believe how much less on edge I feel. My stomach isn't in knots because I'm worried about DSD coming over and having to look after her and put up with her violent tantrums.

I went out for a day with my mum yesterday and it was lovely knowing that I didn't have to be back at 4:30 to do tea for 5:00. I'm going to start taking DD to toddler groups which she has completely missed out on because they were always on days when I had to look after DSD. I've just realised that that was a big and pretty stupid sacrifice to make and my own DDs expense!

Step parenting is very difficult. It's not just the messed up child you have to deal with its the awkward ex too. Enter with caution!!

[notapizzaeater]

You sound in a much better place

[hellsbellsmelons]

You will have wobbles but so far so good!
I'm glad you had a good day and have realised how much you sacrifices for this knob-jockey!
You are handling it really well.
Get to those toddler groups.
Get yourself and out about.
Enjoy your freedom.
Well done and keep going!

[HansieLove]

Do you have YOUR car?

[Roundedbuttocks90]

I've done so much in this last week regarding toddler groups, meeting other mums etc etc that I know STBXHs ex GF did with their daughter.

I know I don't have to feel guilty or rush back to do tea.

I went round after work today to pick up some more clothes etc and what a shit hole!! DSD was scruffy and having a screaming tantrum on the floor. The washing up was piled high in the kitchen sink. He was uncommunicative and looked as though he had been crying. He also looked as though he hasn't shaved in about a week! The washing machine hasn't been used since I left and his mum told me that he's agreed to have his DSD for 2 1/2 weeks!! Hahahahahahaha. The realisation is about to sink in of how much I actually did for you!!

He will rue the day he ever talked to me like crap or put his exes needs and wants before our relationship.

I've got my car and taken him off the insurance!