Was I unfair to send this text to my partner just now . . . I think many followers of my previous posts will agree it was a long time coming

[Roundedbuttocks90]

Put your big boy pants on, look at the bigger picture, do a bit more for yourself, realise and be THANKFUL for how much help you do get instead of stomping off like a spoiled child. Maybe I should stop looking after your daughter for the majority of the time she's here. Stop doing all of the cooking and cleaning. Stop buying all of the food in. Stop insuring/taxing/testing/fuelling the car that YOU are using and abusing because you don't hav the balls to stand up to the person who isn't pulling her weight. YOU DON'T HAVE MUG WRITTEN ACROSS YOUR FOREHEAD AND NEITHER DO I!!!!!!!! Who was paying to feed your daughter while she was here 4 nights a week (at least) whilst you were still giving her mother fucking maintainence!!?? Cos it sure as shit wasnt you, was it? No it was me!!!!!

We had a massive row last night after we had paid the service bill for MY car. He is doing 350+ per week in it to pick up his daughter and take her back as her mother refuses to share travelling.

DH said that he has to see his daughter and it shouldn't be an issue. £550+ service bill for my car is a fucking issue I me!!! The travelling to and for has taken its toll and we are copping for it. He agreed to pay half of the bill and asked me to get his money out of the cash machine (as he can't/won't use them.)

I drew the money out and got him a balance. I didn't check the balance as 1. I was in a pan shite with DH for defending his ex yet again and 2. I don't feel as though I should be looking at his balance. He thingy I ha overdrawn him and completely flipped out. Called me a useless bitch etc etc.

He told me that the travelling situation 'doesn't even come into it as I need to see my daughter.' All the while that poor little girl is being dragged back and forth several times a week like she is some possession tht he feels he has a right to!
Oh and DSD's mum can't do half of the travelling because 'he hasn't got a job' but doesn't he realise that by agreeing to do all of the travelling he is just allowing her to sit on her arse and not bother to find one! So much for the court order he threatened her with!!

One and DDs bags are packed. Actually can't wait to get away from all of this shite.

Sorry for the rant and thank you to ever mums better who has offered me advice and supported me :)

[hellsbellsmelons]

So pleased to see your updates.
You can live much happier, stress free life now.
Well done OP.
Keeping the anger is good.
Keep remembering all the nasty, shitty things he did.
Enjoy your new life.

[Roundedbuttocks90]

Yes. She has also enjoyed spending time with her granddaughter which i think is so important.

I thought I would be finding it harder than I am.

I feel free, guiltless, I don't have a churning feeling in the bottom of my stomach every time I'm on my way home.

[jay55]

I bet your Mum is enjoying spending time with her daughter again and not the doormat you'd become.
Stay strong, you'll be fine, you already know how capable you can be.

[Viviennemary]

Sorry I didn't read the thread. You did absolutely the right thing and I wish you well for the future.

[Roundedbuttocks90]

Vivienne we have split up and I had the short straw in every way possible!!

I've had the absolute utter piss taken out of me and my DD has been treated second best all of her short life and I have been constantly reminded that nothing could beat his perfect little princess

[Viviennemary]

When there is all this me and mine in a relationship I don't think there is a lot of hope for the future. You are obviously massively resentful of your DP. But if you feel you are getting the short straw financially then it's right you should speak up. If he takes no notice then time to reconsider your future together.

[captainmummy]

I do feel sorry for his dd, but the way he treated your pfb was appalling. Good for you for geting her away from that attitude!

How does he get on with using ATMs now?

[Roundedbuttocks90]

Arrrgggghhhhh TYPOS I'm sorry! Hope you can pick through it and get the jist!

[Roundedbuttocks90]

In a skewed kind of way, it was quite satisfying to see how much I actually held everything together please don't judge me for saying that

STBXH has his mum and sister living in close proximity and I understand that his sister has been bathing her an helping out etc.

Poor DSD. Her dad dotes on her he just can't look after her for shit. Her mum leaves her with anyone and everyone. She went to playgroup 3 times a week and then we were having her Wednesday afternoon and Thursday all day and thn having her all weekend.

There was only one full day that she spent with her mother.
So it comes as no surprise that now the holidays are here STBXH will be having her the majority of the time (and still paying maintainence on top of that). He's never once rung up to see how DD is. It's her 1st birthday in a week an he's never even mentioned it. She deserves someone who isn't going to treat her as second best. I should've chucked him when he spouted off to me that 'nothing beats your fort child being born' when I was dealing with DSD, a newborn, breast feeling and PND.

I should've chucked him when he referred to our newborn daughter as 'it' and never even looked at he after she was born.

I've kept the anger and I belie he doesn't deserve out beautiful little girl.

My pregnancy and the first few months of my girl were marred by him and his 'perfect' daughter an how no other child could ever live up to that. Ten he expected me not to be bitter and depressed. Way to go sun shine, way to go

[Ememem84]

As above I haven't seen previous threads but you sound like you're doing the right thing. Good luck. Stay strong and enjoy! X

[Inertia]

I haven't seen your previous threads but based on this one alone it sounds as though you are doing the right thing. Don't be emotionally blackmailed into going back.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

Well done. Sounds like it was long overdue.

[Tinkerball]

Well done OP!

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

I wonder if he staged that pitiful scene to make you feel bad. He may be doing the good ole blackmail and 'look what you've done' thing to punish you.

[LapsedTwentysomething]

God. Poor DSD. I feel sick at the thought of her being left with an incompetent like that for 2.5 weeks. And a mother who clearly cares about her so little as to want her for only three days a week

I'm not for a moment trying to make you feel guilty OP, but could you do something to help her, like perhaps talking to SS? (I realise I could be completely overreacting in that suggestion but I do feel very sad for her).

[Darkesteyes]

Havent seen your previous threads OP but I don't need to. You have totally done the right thing. What a manchild.

[thegreylady]

I just feel sorry for your dsd she is the one who will miss out. This is her father's fault and you are well rid of him. What a pathetic excuse he seems to be!

[muffliato]

You sound like you are in a much better place op. Much more confident and not ground down.
I read your other threads and am very pleased that you have walked away. So much better for your dd to see you take control.

[WaitMonkey]

Well done you. How old is dd ? Don't worry about her. She will he fine now she's spending less time with her idiot father.

[Roundedbuttocks90]

I've done so much in this last week regarding toddler groups, meeting other mums etc etc that I know STBXHs ex GF did with their daughter.

I know I don't have to feel guilty or rush back to do tea.

I went round after work today to pick up some more clothes etc and what a shit hole!! DSD was scruffy and having a screaming tantrum on the floor. The washing up was piled high in the kitchen sink. He was uncommunicative and looked as though he had been crying. He also looked as though he hasn't shaved in about a week! The washing machine hasn't been used since I left and his mum told me that he's agreed to have his DSD for 2 1/2 weeks!! Hahahahahahaha. The realisation is about to sink in of how much I actually did for you!!

He will rue the day he ever talked to me like crap or put his exes needs and wants before our relationship.

I've got my car and taken him off the insurance!

[HansieLove]

Do you have YOUR car?

[hellsbellsmelons]

You will have wobbles but so far so good!
I'm glad you had a good day and have realised how much you sacrifices for this knob-jockey!
You are handling it really well.
Get to those toddler groups.
Get yourself and out about.
Enjoy your freedom.
Well done and keep going!

[notapizzaeater]

You sound in a much better place