to not understand what friends are trying to achieve by putting their dc's reading levels on fb?

[m0therofdragons]

A friend recently put up something along the lines of "so proud of Emma, she's gone up another reading level - my clever darling." Which tbh I found a little bragging but it's fb and I'm happy her dc is doing well. But since then 4 other friends have "celebrated" their dc moving up to level 10, 13, 11 and 9 - announced by mums in this order (not that that is important really). I don't get it. Different schools go at different rates. Dd is a fluent reader but although her current books are easy they are still interesting her so we are sticking with them not joining the competition of whose child's the cleverest based upon reading bloody levels.
What are these mums trying to achieve? Aibu for being annoyed when I see it. I actually find it disrespectful to the child - but willing to accept I may be being a bit precious on that.

I am truly proud of my friends children as well.

Molly ( not real name) has read every book in infant school, she has a natural flare for reading and is a book worm. I think this is 1 area she shines in.

Yanbu.
This shit is exactly why I quit Facebook.

Who cares what level your child is at? Why are you so insecure about your parenting that you need to tell the world?

DS was school captain last year. I mentioned it to his grandparents because I knew they'd be pleased, but to post it on FB and expect people I used to go to school with to 'like' it, is just needy in my opinion.

Life is full of ups and downs, and most people only ever post their (braggy) ups on Facebook.

It is boasting, come on! If you just wanted friends and family to know that your kid was on whatever arbitrary "reading level" you'd make a couple of phone calls. Sticking it on Facebook is saying "Look how clever my child is. REALLY CLEVER. Cleverer than yours."

There is a difference between something like "Ashley has finally learned to swim!" which triggers thoughts of "Aww! That's so nice! She's been trying really hard at that!" and something like "Alfie is reading at [level x] putting him at close to MENSA level! His teacher says he is the smartest and most fantastic child she's ever seen! Well done Alfie, continue being fantastic!" Which triggers thoughts of "Where the fuck is the defriend thing again?"

Well done Alfie, continue being fantastic! Yes. Ugh.

It doesn't occur to me to think the parent is actually telling me that my child is stupid or whatever.

It's called consideration. Ok, maybe (and I am giving them a massive benefit of the doubt here), MAYBE they are just proud and want to tell the whole world their child's specific reading level. However, if there are other parents of kids roughly the same age in their FB friends, they are basically calling for a comparison. Yes, it takes 2 to compete, I agree. But we are basically competitive by nature, and by doing something so specific as posting a level, you are instigating that competition (because you know you are ahead). It is very inconsiderate bragging at best, and highly competitive at worst.

In terms of weddings, holidays etc. Oh now, we can't talk about our children! How ridiculous. The comparison for me would be someone writing. "Wow, just tried on my amazing £10,000 wedding dress. I'm SO lucky." Or, "Managed to book first class flights to the Maldives for Christmas. Only 2,000 each. What a bargain!" Bragging, bragging, bragging.

Can you see the difference?

MerryMarigold exactly. It introduces an unwelcome level of competition.

If a status update was "So excited about fantastic wedding dress!" or "Really proud of Alfie, just got his school report and he's reading so much better!" you would be hard-hearted indeed to complain. It's the details, which come across as being accompanied by a sideways look - I can't help but notice YOUR wedding dress didn't cost £10k, I can't help but notice YOUR wee kid is three reading levels below...

"Wow, just tried on my amazing £10,000 wedding dress. I'm SO lucky."

Or, the increasingly common, perverse FB language:

"Wow, just tried on my amazing £10,000 wedding dress. I'm SO blessed."

It must put so much pressure on the children to know that their parents are sharing their academic achievements with all and sundry. What if they don't repeat their achievements next year? What if they fall back? As a child, I wanted my parents to be proud of me, but I'd have been mortified if I thought they were telling people I'd never met before.

I believe we're building up a whole lot of pain for the future with these sorts of things.

lovelyboots. That one does grate!

I really hate this and will never post such boasts. Last night a colleague congratulated her young, non-FB DS on an award and told 'him' they'd have to go and see his work displayed at blah blah blah.

Having said that, parents' and kids' vanity is pandered to by things like that stupid poetry competition in which everyone is a winner and then parents are charged 12 quid for the privilege of seeing their darling's work in print. Along with every other entrant's.

Oh Lapsed. You have to post that post. It sounds brilliant! I don't even like it when people wish their dh's or children Happy Birthday on FB. I mean, didn't you SEE them in person?!

I haven't seen any yet but I'll hide those who do boast. Fb is not the place to announce your child's academic achievements, especially at a young age. There really are more important things in life!

It's sad behaviour.

Competitive mums are so yawn.

Why do these people even begin to think that anybody is even the slightest bit interested ?

This is why I deleted most of the mums I know off my FB account.

Completely agree with Wonc.

I share my children's achievements with DH and grandparents.

Those who do put it on FB I think are embarrassing themselves.

We are fast becoming a society of narcissists . FB is full of narcs.