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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand what friends are trying to achieve by putting their dc's reading levels on fb?

114 replies

m0therofdragons · 09/07/2014 20:25

A friend recently put up something along the lines of "so proud of Emma, she's gone up another reading level - my clever darling." Which tbh I found a little bragging but it's fb and I'm happy her dc is doing well. But since then 4 other friends have "celebrated" their dc moving up to level 10, 13, 11 and 9 - announced by mums in this order (not that that is important really). I don't get it. Different schools go at different rates. Dd is a fluent reader but although her current books are easy they are still interesting her so we are sticking with them not joining the competition of whose child's the cleverest based upon reading bloody levels.
What are these mums trying to achieve? Aibu for being annoyed when I see it. I actually find it disrespectful to the child - but willing to accept I may be being a bit precious on that.

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 09/07/2014 20:48

ophiotaurus, that's a first. I am a waffler!

drivingmisslazy · 09/07/2014 20:49

I think its nice to be proud of your child's achievements, easy to hide if you feel its annoying.

A few parents in they playground are constantly desperate for their child to move up a level as they have heard X is on a higher level and their child can read just as well, I often get parents coming in to school as they feel the books we have given their child is too easy, when in fact they may know pretty much all the words, but they do not understand the meanings of a lot of the harder words, hence why we have not moved them up.

ophiotaurus · 09/07/2014 20:49

You are less waffly than me!

MerryMarigold · 09/07/2014 20:51

I don't think OP is just as bad. She is not bragging about her dd's levels to her peers. She hasn't told us what they are specifically. (I actually don't know my ds's levels - they call them 'phases').

Tweasels · 09/07/2014 20:55

Fair point.

I don't know my son's reading level either. I'm crap with stuff like that. I just don't care. He reads well, the school are happy, I'm happy.

CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla · 10/07/2014 12:16

In primary I was reading the harry potter books, encyclopedias etc at home, but in school I was on biff chip & kipper books. They asked my mum to not let me take big books into school as its putting other kids down and they didn't think I could read them.
FB didn't exist then, so my mum had nothing to brag about, or on.
I don't get it either. I get they're proud but seriously?

stripedtortoise · 10/07/2014 14:54

I'm very, very much on the 'Their facebook, they can post what they like' side of fence with this one.
They're proud of their kids, so what?! It can be a bit annoying when it seems boastful but that's alright too isn't it. I'm proud and boastful of my DC cos i think he's awesome.
If you aren't happy to share the 'joy' with your friends and their children, probably best to hide them from your newsfeed?!

The argument of 'Well some people's children are struggling so it's not nice for them to read this' hold absolutely no weight with me because you could reasonably use that argument with absolutely anything 'It's not fair you posted that your child got a 50m swimming badge because my child hasn't learn to swim yet and that offends me' It's nonsense.

MerryMarigold · 10/07/2014 15:03

Swimming is different as it's not something everyone starts at the same time. But it would still be annoying. I don't think people should be allowed to say whatever they like on fb without out being judged. You make s racist comment on your status, I will judge you! Boastful if you say it to someone's face and boastful if you say it on fb.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 10/07/2014 15:09

The people I would tell about my DC going up a reading level:

  • my parents
  • my sister (and she probably wouldn't be that fussed!)

It is an odd thing to put on FB I think.

70hours · 10/07/2014 15:12

Ahhh brag book strikes again - reading levels odd to put on FB - think it is fine to say how proud you are of your childrens report, exam success etc- but seriously reading levels -

MerryMarigold · 13/07/2014 16:49

Swimming is different as it's not something everyone starts at the same time. But it would still be annoying. I don't think people should be allowed to say whatever they like on fb without out being judged. You make s racist comment on your status, I will judge you! Boastful if you say it to someone's face and boastful if you say it on fb.

MerryMarigold · 13/07/2014 16:49

Swimming is different as it's not something everyone starts at the same time. But it would still be annoying. I don't think people should be allowed to say whatever they like on fb without out being judged. You make s racist comment on your status, I will judge you! Boastful if you say it to someone's face and boastful if you say it on fb.

Floggingmolly · 13/07/2014 17:22

I'm not on Facebook; do people really post that they feel "blessed" with their wonderful children's achievements? That takes a special sort of gobshite... And to assume other people are remotely interested Confused.

MiddleAgeMiddleEngland · 13/07/2014 17:42

Ok, this is going to get flamed, but I think it's really wrong and immoral to post anything about children on FB. It's their life, not the parents'. Unless they fully understand the implications of it being there forever and have given informed consent.

Perhaps a "pleased with Jonny's school report" if absolutely necessary (and why would it be, anyway?) but certainly not any details.

queenofthemountain · 13/07/2014 17:50

Wel I have never seen this, but I really don't mind people sharing their children's achievements at all.I actually like to read about their successes and more to the point I expect their, sometimes geographically distant relatives do too.

Alisvolatpropiis · 13/07/2014 18:01

I don't really see a problem with it. I think it's quite sweet.

Much less irritating than the "my perfect life" style posters who I am secretly jealous of.

I don't have children yet though, maybe I would see it differently if I did.

MrsJossNaylor · 13/07/2014 18:24

It's extremely irritating, particularly those ones that are directed towards the child.
For example: "so proud of my lil Ava's reading, well done hunni, love you." Which came up in my fbook wall a few days ago (child's name changed).
Tell the child you're proud of them, not the rest of the world.

Generally I think a bit of smug bragging is acceptable when it's about the big stuff. You know, child gets a great school report despite having a tough year. That sort if thing.

But reading levels? That's too dull to even warrant comment in the playground, let alone broadcast to an audience of hundreds. It's show-iffy and cringey to see IMO. As the reading levels cited in such posts mean nothing to me, I also tend to assume the child in question isn't doing very well, as if they were, then their parents wouldn't feel moved to comment on the minutiae.

But I could be wrong.

arkestra · 13/07/2014 18:29

I think it's natural and good to feel proud of your children's achievements. But I never post stuff like this on FB. I think it would make me look like a smug numpty.

But I'm prepared to believe there's an alternative social setup where everyone boasts their heads off and they're all happy about it - just not my scene I guess?

emmaliz · 13/07/2014 22:54

I think the problem is that these people aren't really your friends. they are facebook 'friends'. otherwise why would you not be interested in how their children are doing?

NellyNoodle1 · 13/07/2014 23:14

In with MiddleAge actually - I think continually posting about your child is irresponsible - think if your parents had Facebook when you were growing up - would you have been happy to have every moment of your childhood watched by lots of strangers?

I also find the brag-offs really tedious tbh - my mother always said - never brag about your children it always comes back and bites you on the ass. Have seen it many a time.

raspberryripple43 · 13/07/2014 23:21

I really try and avoid talking about kids on social media. It's not fair. I used to be scrupulous about not eve having photos. but two years ago I put up a funny pic on twitter when we went to the seaside and got drenched. But sats levels? Awards at prize giving? Sporting achievements (OK. there haven't been too many of those!) forget it.

ICanSeeTheSun · 13/07/2014 23:29

Facebook is doom and gloom most of the time, it refreshing to see children's achievements.

Goofymum · 13/07/2014 23:29

I also find these bragging posts annoying. Alot of FB is about attention seeking. I've posted before about DD's success at something specific because I was so proud I wanted the world to hear. But reading levels?

ICanSeeTheSun · 13/07/2014 23:32

And yes when ds bought home a book I told every one possible, it was in the last 6 weeks on infant school. He was 7 and I was so chuffed for him.

MrsJossNaylor · 13/07/2014 23:48

ICanSee - if your facebook feed is "doom and gloom" then that's a shame. Mine is nothing of the sort - it's people I care about doing mainly interesting things.

Interesting things do not include their child cutting a tooth, having a wee on a potty or going up a reading level.

I am pleased when my friends' children do well. Of course I am. But going up a reading level is just, well, "meh."