To think DDs reaction wasn't "not normal"?

[lalala2]

I was out for lunch today with my dad and DD (just turned 3) when a woman came and sat right beside DD as I was cutting up her food and the woman put her face right up to DD and told her to eat up, told her to blow on her food, to use the fork etc and asked how hold she was. DD looked down as she's very shy with strangers and I said "how old are you?", "you're 3 aren't you?" And DD said yes. I said sorry she's really shy, she's starting playschool on Monday so I'm hoping that brings her out of her shell a bit.
The woman then said "that's not normal! No I'm sorry but that's just not normal, she should be able to speak to me!!!" Then she turned to my dad and said "the problem is she's S.P.O.I.L.E.D"

My dad just tried to make a joke about it but the woman was getting really angry and was looking at DD shaking her head saying that's not right!! I was really polite to the woman but I'm fuming a little bit at her cheek, there's nothing wrong with DD, we have a tiny family (just me and DD and we see my dad occasionally) so she's just not used to adults being so forward I think it caught her off gaurd!

AIBU or was DDs reaction totally abnormal?

Obfus

Yes

I used the phrase "not normal" about the woman in the op - simply because she had used that phrase about the op's child , when actually that is perfectly normal behaviour for a 3 year old. I used it in quote marks because it is not how I would generally phrase something but was tagging her phrase to refer to her in a sarcastic manner - and actually I don't think her behaviour was particularly "normal" as I've never encountered that kind of interaction before. Sorry if that was offensive to anyone or indicated that I was labelling her as mentally ill, which I wasn't!

Muley-fret not, she wasn't acting normally. My point is that could be due to any number of reasons including mh problems, it's the 'oh she MUST be a nutter' and the presumption she's ill that had cheesed people off

Anyway, I'd be majorly alarmed if someone plonked themselves down and started to speak like that to ds, it's not what most people would call normal behaviour. I'd be adopting my 'ice queen' manner like the pp mentioned

Loss of inhibitions, obsessive speech and irrational anger are all obvious clinical signs of mania.

"Impulsively speaking and ignoring social queues is also a sign of ADHD, Aspergers, Anxiety Disorder, Substance Abuse, Mood Disorders, Trauma, etc...

So really "loss of inhibitions, obsessive speech and irrational anger" aren't really an obvious sign of anything in and of themselves."

^^ this

Also Saucy if you are bipolar yourself you will know it can often take years to diagnose and at the very least hours and hours with consultants and different teams.

You will also know that the labelling of anyone behaving out of sorts with a bipolar title, makes it harder and harder still for those of us with the disorder to be accepted day to day.

You'd assume you'd be onside rather than out labelling all bipolar sufferers as crazies.

FWIW I see 'fruit loop' 'batty' 'cuckoo' type words as as way of describing someone who has done something 'normally' seen as odd - not derogatory terms for MH sufferers

Oh, hi there. Just a reminder of our talk guidelines, particularly with regards to Personal Attacks: www.mumsnet.com/info/netiquette. The OP's original question was: is she being unreasonable to think her daughter's reaction was ok. Let's try and keep the discussion on track. Thank you!

My DS is 4.6 he's not shy as a rule but there's one lady in our village we see regularly who always talks 'In his face'. DS refuses to even look at her and it's sooo embarrassing but I can't blame him.
Some people think they are good with kids but really arn't.
I'd resist them temptation to openly tell people she is shy in front of her. She may be inclined to live up to your expectation. A normal reaction in them cafe imo.

Morcho

I agree some people think they are good with children and they aren't. I remember one of my great aunts who was too in your face, too desperate, too intrusive. She used to act hurt if you were reluctantbto sit on her lap. Sometimes for these people the interaction with the child is all about them, not what the child wants or needs, and sometimes when they are rejected they get a bit angry and blaming.