To be sad that nobody seems to care about my children

[Aloneandnowwhat]

I'm a lone parent to ds3 and dd1. Neither my family or exdp's bother with the children. After years of doing all the running to maintain a relationship I've had enough.
AIBU and should I keep chasing people for the sake of my kids or will we be enough for each other?
Feeling especially sad today as it's dd's first birthday and nobody has been bothered to come to see her.

Did the adopt a granparent thread ever take off!!
This may be something you could consider OP. Roughly where are you in the country?

I'm in the north east. I've searched for that but only website that came up looked redundant. I mailed it but got no reply, would be lovely to have someone think there as brilliant as I do!

What about Gingerbread

I have heard about them and it looks like they have local groups and meet ups. Maybe they have some schemes for the kids

I have children similar age and all our family live a long way away and dh is crap not around much... Not the same I know but what I do know is our little unit of 3 feels like an awesome little gang and so you must never feel 'not enough'. We go on lots of adventures just the 3 of us

What I have also done though is nuture the relationship with ds's godparents (need to pick some for dd) and they are 'family' to him and me as well.

Wow there are tons of people looking for surrogate gps when tou do a quick google search but nothing set up. Looks like the US and Australia both have a system set up but we have nothing. Be great if somones working on it. My grannies in. Sheltered housing and i always remember a woman in her 90s who never married or had kids, she used to tell grannie to send me along with my kids to visit her and she would have bought them little gifts things like colouring books. I think she was just lonely, theres quite a few of my GMs friends who didnt have children i have noticed in her accomodation. That would be a good way to find some by writing to sheltered housing places if someones trying to set something up. I cant find a current mn thread just zlmbie threads or o would have posted on there

With you all the way on this Alone - I too have no one who cares for ds - just 1 grandmother who is old and frail and sends a card, I hate to imagine what might happen if I needed to go into hospital or die. Thankfully since his birth nearly 13 years ago, the worst I've had is flu and tooth abscesses. Much as I needed a bit of help (just a cup of tea and someone to cook his dinner and feed the dog and let me sleep a bit) that's never happened. I'm nearly 52 hope I can keep this up for at least another 10 years. He has ASD so the general consideration of parent-friendly mutual-aid doesn't exist

We should start a Charitable Trust - a place for the truly-alone to find another similar to take on the 'I Care For Your Child Like You Want Me To'. We know we can't leave this for the State and their hopeless Care System.

There was an academic that made an Hierarchy of Needs (like Maslow) but defined it in terns of single-parenthood. We are at the bottom.

Another one who wants to know if you invited anyone to come round?
So many people (I've read on here) don't like people coming round uninvited.
When my dc have birthdays, I always let family know they are invited for 'birthday tea', and then they come (or let me know if they can't).

Happy birthday to your daughter. You sound lovely - I am sure your children will be fine and for tomorrow.

I asked my sister round for cake but she didn't answer really then just didn't bother. My ex fil put a card through the door on Sunday even though it was obvious we were at home, didn't officially ask mil but that wouldn't stop her if she wanted to come. She was at my home hours after dd was born for a nosey, hasn't been since.

Invited or not, they could have called, got a card, something.

Happy Belated Birthday to your DD!
It doesn't sound like any of these people are worth bothering with, but I know that's not really any consolation.

Happy birthday to your dd.

I am a lone parent with no family support here, and it is hard. I agree with the poster who said it gets easier to get a network once they are school age. With regard to your dc godmother, my biggest local support is my lovely neighbour who is also childless through choice, but as ds has got beyond baby/toddler, she has got much more involved with him, she is like family for him now. But that has happened over time, doing things like inviting my neighbour when we go out and things like that. She freely admits that she has also got more confident with him. I was on my own at Christmas and she brought round a bottle of Prosecco and cake in the evening. Having one person who cares is worth many who don't really.

Romeyroo your neighbour sounds lovely.
At the minute, the only people who have dc's are people I pay. If I want to do anything I have to pay to have them watched. It's difficult not being able to do anything myself for the foreseeable future but maybe I will make more friends who might be willing to help out.

Sometimes you have to rely upon your self to make your self happy, kids included. Be happy you have each other, you are heathy and well. The kids are young, concentrate on making lasting memories for them; though it may hurt you are being ignored, but its the others who are missing out, plus, they the adults can purposefully ignore such young children, do you really want them around the kids?