To serve guests instant coffee

[Drinkingpimmsinmygarden]

DH and I aren't really coffee drinkers (prefer tea)so we just have a jar of instant coffee such as Nescafé. No real ground coffee.

Are we being unreasonable not to have 'proper' coffee in for guests?

I see it more as the difference between what you have at home and what you get given at others homes - I drink Earl Grey tea at home, but don't refuse tea at friends houses just because it's Typhoo. I wouldn't choose it, but I just accept what's offered, unless I'd genuinely prefer a glass of water.

I my AIBUjack above I neglected to mention that DM always makes a point of mentioning that if she was at home she'd have a coffee at 11am. She then refuses the instant, the offer of tea as an alternative, and makes it sounds like she's being horribly deprived. But then, she's a fussy bugger who has to have Lapsang Souchong for her first cup of tea of the day, and Earl Grey in the afternoon.

I think to some (admittedly myself included) it drudges up thoughts of:

Me: Would you like some coffee?
Visitor: Is it XXX brand (or "real" coffee or ground coffee or what have you) or ... instant?
Me: Um... instant, as that's all I have.
Visitor: No thank you.

Now I know that most have better manners than this. But I think sometimes this is the thought process or impression that it gives, rightly or wrongly.

I don't ask what type of coffee or tea it is when I'm at someone's house. They offer me a coffee or tea, I say yes, and take what I'm given. I was brought up being taught that it is utterly rude to pass judgement (in any way) on refreshments offered when visiting someone.

So what do the real coffee drinkers make of Tassimo machines? (nb. I have one).

We nearly always offer instant to guests and don't say it's instant - it just seems obvious to me (lesson learned!). When I go to a friend's house they ALWAYS offer instant. This is out of say 15 middle-class Mumsnet-ish-types.

I know it is obviously a shock to people but I would say that - generally speaking - the majority in the UK would offer instant without a thought. I say that having lived north/south/east/west and having stayed with a variety of people - plus just looking at supermarket shelves.

On occasion I'll say 'oooh do you want a Tassimo coffee?' But it's expensive so I don't always offer the choice, depending on how many people are around! /badhost

Now I will admit 'real coffee' is nicer. As in I can enjoy it, whereas most of the time instant is just for the convenience and the caffeine factor. We used to have a filter machine but I stopped drinking it when I got pregnant so now my husband just uses the Tassimo for solo drinks instead. But I think there's nothing intrinsically wrong by not stocking drinks (beyond the basic teabags/instant coffee) or cafetieres for guests when you don't use it yourself.

Btw I love tea and do have a huge variety but haven't bought any loose leaf for a while, so I'm probably a bit rubbish there too! Used to love my loose-leaf oolong :)

2Rebecca yes I just rinse it under the tap when it's going to be used again. It only goes in the dishwasher if it's not going to be used and/or it's looking a bit grubby. It's not a big deal to clean.

Oh and I'd rather have a bad instant coffee than a bad tea - bad coffee is much of a muchness to my tastebuds (ie horrible yet drinkable) whereas bad tea can be truly disgusting.

I love my coffee and drink a lot of it, but I would never accept the offer of a coffee if I knew in advance it was instant coffee, I would rather have water. Instant to me isn't coffee, it's hot water with a very vague but quite unpleasant coffee-ish flavour. The last time I was offered a coffee and only after having it my hand realised it was instant coffee (was 18 months ago), I just waited till my host went to open the door to the postman and I poured it down the sink. If I had known it was instant I could have saved wastage by having a glass of water instead.

Orange juice is juice, not Robinson's orange syrup diluted with water, though I like them both, I wouldn't refer to diluting orange as orange juice.

Mashed potatoes are cooked potatoes mashed with butter and or milk, not that SMASH stuff (dehydrated potato mixed with boiling water) that was around the 70s. I wouldn't refer to SMASH as mashed potatoes.

If people want to serve instant coffee, it's fine by me, just tell me it's instant so I can choose a glass of water instead.

Are there any other countries in the world, apart from the UK, where this post could even exist? Every other country I have visited, you would never be given instant coffee when offered coffee.

Ground coffee goes stale after opening so there isn't much point in buying it unless you have pretty regular ground coffee drinker guests.

I think the time I really want my coffee maker back is before Christmas when the shops have all the lovely coffee mixes with flavours that include cinnamon and chocolate and such. Then I go around and around in my head... should I give in? I reeeeeallllly want to try that coffee....

Yeah but blubirdy, 75% of the UK drinks instant - so you're right, it wouldn't happen somewhere else, but here it is - for the moment - the majority choice, so you have to expect that it won't always be flagged up. I'll probably flag it up from now on but wouldn't have thought to do so before.

You can tell i dont drink coffee

I didnt realise there was a difference.

To carry on the squash analogy, I think offering coffee and then serving instant is like offering orange juice and then serving squash.

Only one of my friends ever serves instant.

But FWIW I now have instant in my house as well as coffee beans for the coffee maker as she refused to drink my coffee and bought me a jar of Nescafé. I'm happy to store it and serve it to her when she comes round!

I would offer instant. DH would only offer proper coffee.

I would offer one of my Dolce Gusto coffees but I like to save them all for me as they are not cheap.

Partial x-post with blubirdy

I didn't realise I was so uncouth giving my guests instant. I never really thought much about it. This thread has actually made me want some 'proper' coffee now though. (For my own consumption. If anyone else gets any they will be lucky.)

A quick Google suggests that yes,you can and will be offered instant coffee in other countries. It has a huge market in Asia,admittedly a huge,varied continent,but it seems to be the norm at home in China at least.

bog standard Twinings

Twinings is posh!
This thread is hilarious

Twinings is posh to me. Its pg tips usually. (Dh bought a supermarket own brand tea this time, its ok.)

I would not finish a cup of instant, but neither would I expect you to have ground coffee in, I would be happy and appreciative to have a glass of tap water instead.

Does that make me unspeakably rude?

I wouldn't drink tea if you offered it me, either, becaue I don't like it.

Does that make me rude?

What would you do if offered a vague 'fancy a tea or coffee?' CharmQuark - not unspeakably rude but if you don't specify early on you might be polite to take a few sips.

Assuming you have said yes to one or t'other!

YANBU.

If someone offers me a coffee I expect it to be instant.

Can't stand coffee snobs, making out they are so much more discerning than normal people. Do tea drinkers act all outraged if they are served tea made with bags rather than Darjeeling in a pot and strainer? Er...no.

I must have missed the memo that said people were not allowed to have preferences.

For crying out loud, there's nothing wrong with preferring instant coffee or real coffee or Tassimo coffee

It's just a preference isn't it?

I don't get all the vitriol about liking real coffee.

I drink instant at work and use my tassimo at home.
I don't let anyone other than dh make me coffee because I am peculiar and no one makes it right

Tantrums, indeed. I read Hester's post and concluded this thread was a waste of life.

Of course it'd be rude to comment on the quality of anything served by a host and of course no one really cares about the quality of refreshments when visiting a friend - but the question is whether it is unreasonable to serve instant coffee to coffee drinkers - which to me suggested that the OP was asking whether guests would appreciate it if she got some ground coffee in. Of course it's not unreasonable to serve instant, but several people (including me) have said in response to the OP's express question (to which she presumably wanted an honest reply or she wouldn't have asked it) that they genuinely don't like instant coffee, to which the response has been "drink what you're given", "get over yourselves", "coffee snob" etc and the reason given for not wanting to serve ground coffee has largely been the extra effort involved which, while fair enough, is not exactly going to win you any hospitality awards is it? What's the point of offering someone a drink at all if you don't care whether they enjoy it? I don't consider myself host of the year (see above) but I don't begrudge someone who is visiting me a couple of minutes' trouble to make them a drink they'll enjoy. Why would I? If ground coffee drinkers are so few and far between that ground coffee will go to waste and the cafetiere won't justify its cupboard space then that's totally fair enough - you're not going to lose any friends over it - the worst that happens is you get more requests for tea at your house than coffee.

Hopefulhamster - I'd probably say 'I'd love a glass of water, unless you happen to be making ground coffee, in which case that would be lovely, thanks!'

I wouldn't feel miffed, or offended or disdainful or negative in any way about someone not having 'real' coffee in the house.

It's a matter of dealing with the situation as it is - if someone just gave me a cup of instant I would drink about half the cup, (and I might put loads of milk and sugar in it to make it more drinkable - I normally take niether) I just wouldn't enjoy it, at all, but I wouldn't make sneery comments about it or stare gloomily at the cup, or leap up and pour it down the sink or do anything except say 'lovely, thank you!'.

I moght helpfully go over and rinse my own cup out and put it in the dishwasher to hide the fact that I had only drink a bit