To serve guests instant coffee

[Drinkingpimmsinmygarden]

DH and I aren't really coffee drinkers (prefer tea)so we just have a jar of instant coffee such as Nescafé. No real ground coffee.

Are we being unreasonable not to have 'proper' coffee in for guests?

Christ on a bike, there is absolutely no way I would have eaten meat when I was a vegetarian.

It is the assumption that everyone else does things the way you do, buys the same sort of food stuffs, has similar tastes. Of course they don't. What a weird world it would be if everyone bought and liked the same thing.

Good for you. That would have been your choice. This was mine.

yes to Bluegrass et al.

WTFFFFFF asking about people's food or drink? Soooo rude.

I don't like nasty coffee, but like Carte Noire. I've swallowed some swill at people's houses but would never , not ever ask what brand of coffee it was. That is atrocious behaviour.

Seeing red moments for me include when sil asked to inspect jar of mincemeat I'd used for mince pies to see if it was organic... and when dsis faced with giant [Waitrose] cold collation went through asking about the provenance of all the meat. When I elaborated that something was Spanish she took the piece of ham off her plate between thumb and forefinger and moved it back onto the serving dish.

If you are going to fall down dead with an allergy, speak up - but if you are trying to show how superior your own taste is - then STFU!!

My assumption was based on the scarcity of offers of instant coffee I've been made, dammit. I do not assume people are 'like me' (we wouldn't have a Tory PM if they did). I spend quite a bit of my time writing about diversity and so on. I just don't tend to get offered instant coffee in houses (work is different) and thus my expectations and assumptions have, clearly, been distorted from the population norm.

Yes, and add to that the wine snobs. Imo only the most arriviste person questions what the host is serving.

So I can't even politely decline your instant? Or leave it unfinished? Hope you have a sound proofed toilet then for when my IBS kicks in.

Gosh, I'm on a roll of annoyance here. Remembered when friend of dh spurned proferred glass of red wine and said, "Actually, can we drink the wine I bought? It's Ponce de Poncey Poncemilion, you know."

No, floisme, no one on this thread is saying that anyone should drink or eat something that doesn't agree with them, or they have an allergy to. No idea where you got that idea from.

"Is it instant or do you have a cafetiere? Sorry to ask but I find most instant coffees don't agree with me." It would be a weird person who found that question insulting.

Thing is, though, lainie, that example is massively rude and snobbish.

By comparison, most of the real-coffee contingent on here are just saying they would either ask for tea if offered tea or instant coffee, or drink some of it politely but maybe not finish it.

Not quite the same.

You get instant coffee or a Tetley tea bag when you come round to our house.
That's the choice, unless you want council pop out of the tap, not a bottle.

Flo, your IBS is set off by instant, but not real coffee? That's the exact opposite of myself and several other people I know. I can drink instant, but can't deal with ground/real without knowing there's a toilet extremely close by - apologies for the tmi.

If you won't/can't/don't ever drink instant, I would suggest it's probably more polite to simply say you don't want a cup than to try and find out if it's instant and then decline.

I do actually find it quite rude if someone leaves a cup unfinished. Surely as an adult it's not going to kill you to finish one cup of coffee rather than offend your hosts?

OK Thurlow it's just that half the time people then start asking how instant disagrees with me and I don't always feel like explaining my bowel habits to you - not when I hardly know you Sometimes I'd just rather say 'no thanks' or discreetly (I hope) leave it unfinished.

Moose Yes, a double espresso is fine but instant is ...well pretty much instantly explosive

If you say you "only" have instant, it isn't suggesting instant is in some way inferior - it's just telling people that the only type of coffee you have is instant coffee.

Just like you could say I "only" have red wine (no white) or I "only" have apple juice (no freshly squeezed orange ), or I "only" have decaf.

Surely as a host people would prefer to serve their guests something they would actually like to drink? And would like to tell them what is available so they can choose something they would prefer?

They ask! Blimey. Other things that don't happen often in RL

Yes, Thurlow they do ask. Why would I make it up?

Ooh seeing as this thread has travelled quite some distance, please may I ask my own instant coffee AIBU?

DM refuses to drink coffee at our house as we only have instant, but that instant is Kenco Millicano, which DH genuinely enjoys and has retired his cafetiere in favour of out of laziness.
She says all instant coffee is swill. DH says her real coffee is swill.
I cannot persuade her to even try a sip of our instant, even though DH insists it's far better than her 'vapid dishwater crap'. (She makes her coffee in an open jug, no cafetiere, ground coffee of no particular provenance).

So who's being unreasonable? DM for being stubborn, or me for wanting to make her try it in case she likes it even tho she has point blank refused?

That was shock that anyone who be rude enough to ask further questions, not questioning you...

Sorry Thurlow that came out snippier than I intended. Or should that be ?

I'm sure people don't mean to be rude, they just don't always think.

Crossed wires!

Though I'd be tempted to tell 'em everything - they did ask, after all...

Maybe I should try that - they definitely wouldn't ask again

The niche tea drinkers are not being called snobs

I think they were called snobs as well.

I think some people defending instant coffee are confusing dislike of instant coffee with dislike of the person offering instant coffee.
I like my tea drinking friend and accept he doesn't drink coffee so doesn't stock anything but a jar of instant.
I don't see any point in drinking a cup of something I dislike though. I also dislike most fizzy drinks. I am happy drinking cold tap water rather than instant coffee or coke. It's not a snob thing it's a preference thing. What host wants to make their guest drink something they dislike?

It's different though if you dislike something . I don't like soft drinks, so if someone asked "Would you like a glass of orange squash?" I'd say, "Oh, a glass of tap water is fine, thanks." It would be utterly different if I asked if the squash were Robinson's as opposed to Asda own brand.