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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To serve guests instant coffee

588 replies

Drinkingpimmsinmygarden · 06/07/2014 17:57

DH and I aren't really coffee drinkers (prefer tea)so we just have a jar of instant coffee such as Nescafé. No real ground coffee.

Are we being unreasonable not to have 'proper' coffee in for guests?

OP posts:
PhaedraIsMyName · 07/07/2014 15:01

Do tea drinkers act all outraged if they are served tea made with bags rather than Darjeeling in a pot and strainer? Er...no

I do, albeit inwardly if it's served by friends and family and would never say anything, and if it were a tea shop or café would not have tea there again.

CharmQuark · 07/07/2014 15:05

And I certainly don't think I am 'more discerning' than anyone else.

I am very happy to drink cheap plonk, lager that comes in cans, sliced cheese from Lidl, Lidl own chocolate, cheese spread, oven chips, and Fray Bentos pies - even though I also enjoy the gourmet and 'premium' version of all these products too.

But I happen to actively dislike the taste, smell and feel of instant coffee.

OnlyLovers · 07/07/2014 15:09

What Quark says about food (especially Fray Bentos and oven chips. Oh, and Greggs pasties and own-label crisps and Shippams fish paste and cheap takeaway noodles ..).

It's not about snobbery . Some people just don't like the taste of instant coffee. Is that very difficult to grasp or accept?

Oh, and as for tea, left to my own devices I make it with loose leaves, but I do also use teabags when I CBA, and no, would not act outraged if someone made me a cup of tea from a bag.

But then I wouldn't act outraged if someone offered me instant coffee either; I'd just either accept an alternative if offered or, if it came to it, drink enough of the coffee to be polite.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 07/07/2014 15:22

Is it wrong that I crave Fray Bentos pies every so often?
My Nan used to cook one with creamy mash whenever I visited. Grin

justwondering72 · 07/07/2014 15:43

Instant coffee is just bogging!

The taste gap between instant and real coffee is way larger than the gap between teabag tea and loose leaf tea.

So I too would choose tea, if offered the choice of tea or instant 'coffee' but I would take a 'proper' coffee over either of them.

Another tricky one is white or red wine for aperitif ... usually I'd choose white wine as an aperitif drink... but only if it's chilled. If it's a choice of room-temp white or room-temp red, then I'll always go for red... but I would take a glass of chilled white over either of them. If it is offered. My dad always rolls his eyeballs when he offers me white wine and I ask 'is it chilled?' But I don't like warm white wine, so why drink it if something nicer is on offer?

IMHO part of being a good host is letting your guests make an informed choice, so that they can have something they genuinely will enjoy - rather than suffering something they don't really enjoy just to be polite. And part of being a good guest is to be clear about what you would like, and not leave people guessing about what you want IMHO, you don't have to be rude, but I'd have no objection to people asking if wine is chilled or coffee is instant or whatever. I'd rather serve them something they chose.

WhatsMyAgeAgain · 07/07/2014 16:21

Yanbu. But if you're worried get a decent instant. Kenco millicano is drinkable- can't stand any others. Just stocked up, 2 pounds in asda at the moment

MrsSchadenfreude · 07/07/2014 16:34

Haven't read the whole thread, but whoever, early on, said their Polish family preferred instant - this is probably a hangover from the days of communism, when you could only get instant coffee in the hard currency shops, and it was seen as the height of sophistication to offer your guests a glass of nescafe rather than a glass of muddy coffee, where you either waited for the grounds to sink or strained them through your teeth! When I lived there in the 1980s, all of my friends would ask me to bring back instant coffee and soft loo paper from UK or West Berlin.

Instant coffee is not coffee, in my view, it is a hot drink - you might as well go the whole hog and drink it with coffee mate and splenda for the full ersatz experience.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 07/07/2014 17:14

coffee mate?? ick. Now that's a whole new conversation. Grin

PhaedraIsMyName · 07/07/2014 17:21

The taste gap between instant and real coffee is way larger than the gap between teabag tea and loose leaf tea

It's a matter of taste and opinion. For me even the worst instant coffee will be better than standard teabag tea.

blubirdy · 07/07/2014 19:50

A quick Google suggests that yes,you can and will be offered instant coffee in other countries. It has a huge market in Asia,admittedly a huge,varied continent,but it seems to be the norm at home in China at least.

That's quite interesting as I have traveled to about 10 Asian countries and even lived in 2, yet have never been given instant coffee when offered a coffee. I do know, in Malaysia for instance, that you buy cans of Nescafe (cold coffee drink) in the same way we buy and drink cans of coke or fanta.

Seriously, the only place I have ever been given instant when offered a coffee is the UK.

I wonder if the huge market for instant coffee in Asia is because of the huge size of the Asian market as a whole? That is, do Asians drink as much instant coffee per head of population as the Brits do, or is a shitload of the stuff just sold there because of the sheer number of inhabitants of Asia?

Though I do seem to remember someone telling me they had been to the Philippines and a cup of coffee there was more often than not an instant coffee.

tobysmum77 · 07/07/2014 21:50

yanbu you serve what you have. I only have instant of you don't like it then don't come round again. mn is a parallel universe.

cardibach · 07/07/2014 22:02

That's a bit absolute, tobysmum - if someone doesn't like instant coffee they can't come again! Don't you have a tap with water they could drink?
It's a preference, not a value judgement. I am confused by this whole 'coffee machine' thing, though. I have one friend with a posh monster which grinds the beans and makes the coffee but everyone else I know has a cafetiere. No complicated machines. There are a few stovetop espresso makers around, but filter machines (which burn the coffee IMHO) and other fancy kit don't seem very popular. Pod machines are just jazzed up instant as far as I can see.
Instant coffee and ground coffee taste completely different. It is entirely feasible to like one and hate the other (either way round). TO say this is snobbery is daft. Would you be a snob for preferring cheddar to stilton or vice versa?

PhaedraIsMyName · 08/07/2014 00:25

I can recommend this to ground coffee drinkers. It looks pricey but when you think of the price of a takeaway coffee it saves money within a couple of weeks. I keep one at the office with packets of ground coffee and one at home to take on car journeys.

www.bodum.com/gb/en-us/shop/detail/K11067-01/

TheRealAmandaClarke · 08/07/2014 06:41

Anyone remember instant tea? Do they still make that?

Bunbaker · 08/07/2014 06:59

" TO say this is snobbery is daft. Would you be a snob for preferring cheddar to stilton or vice versa? "

To be fair some posts have been very snobby about instant coffee. Given a preference I prefer fresh ground coffee to instant, but I prefer tea anyway.

Iownafourinchporsche · 08/07/2014 07:07

Instant coffee and real coffee are so different,you can't really call them both coffee. Totally different drinks. One could be compared to drinking cheap twee retro cherry aid, while the other is more like drinking a fine wine with various undertones. I wouldn't touch cherry aid, I wouldn't comment on it either, but I'd rather have water.

Iownafourinchporsche · 08/07/2014 07:16

Just to add Nescafé started in 1938 while normal coffee has been around for centuries.

Iownafourinchporsche · 08/07/2014 07:18

Instant coffee is huge in Russia I think

SignYourName · 08/07/2014 07:26

TO say this is snobbery is daft. Would you be a snob for preferring cheddar to stilton or vice versa?

Ahem:

One could be compared to drinking cheap twee retro cherry aid, while the other is more like drinking a fine wine with various undertones

That's the kind of comment to which the "snobbery" accusations have been directed.

Have a preference by all means, but don't dismiss other people's equally valid preference as "cheap" or "twee" (or "fake", "ersatz" or worse than "donkey piss" etc).

Iownafourinchporsche · 08/07/2014 07:57

Ill happily admit I'm a coffee snob. I never used to be in the 80's and 90's

motherinferior · 08/07/2014 08:03

I called it fake and ersatz because that is precisely what it is - the clue is in the word 'instant'. It is a quick way of knocking up a coffee-derived drink. One that lots of people do like, but not actual coffee.

Iownafourinchporsche · 08/07/2014 08:06

I don't see all food and drink as equal. There's no way an organically reared chunk of pork is equal to a reconstituted cheap sausage.

Iownafourinchporsche · 08/07/2014 08:13

Instant tea also sends shivers down my spine - ugh, awful

Iownafourinchporsche · 08/07/2014 08:14

But then again most instant things aren't as good as the real thing - gravy, custard etc

SignYourName · 08/07/2014 08:15

That's not the point. It's how you refer to other people's expressed preferences that marks you out as a snob or not.

I prefer strong, stinky cheeses. I don't particularly like Kraft slices as they don't have a strong enough taste for me and I don't like the texture. But if someone said how much they liked Kraft slices, or offered me one, I wouldn't start talking about "fake" cheese or dismiss it as "plastic" or assume they had an unsophisticated palate for all foodstuffs. I'd just think they liked Kraft slices, which aren't my thing.