To serve guests instant coffee

[Drinkingpimmsinmygarden]

DH and I aren't really coffee drinkers (prefer tea)so we just have a jar of instant coffee such as Nescafé. No real ground coffee.

Are we being unreasonable not to have 'proper' coffee in for guests?

"Would you like a glass of wine?"

"Er...red or white?"

"FUCK OFF YOU RUDE CUNT, YOU'LL DRINK WHAT YOU'RE GIVEN IN THIS HOUSE..."

Of course I did. They're something called 'examples', to highlight a point. It'd be rude for someone to question the brand, type or provenance of anything you serve them like that, allergies aside....

"Would you like some meat?"

"Er...is it pork or beef? Because - "

"Fuck off, you snobby meat-picker! How dare you! It's on your plate, eat it!"

They aren't examples of anything real, though. This is about instant coffee. I don't know any real coffee drinker who would say any of those things, so they are category errors, not examples.

I think Thurlow posted them tp show that she thinks anybody turning their nose up at instant coffee is just as rude as that

In fact, I haven't got a problem with someone not liking instant. I have got a problem with people being rude about it and making someone else feel a bit shit for not being up to the mark. And I have got a problem with all the amzement from some people on here that people actually drink instant in this day and age. I assume they get their butler to do the shopping and don't see the shelves and shelves of instant in the supermarket!

No, it's more 'I only have white/brown bread'. It is a matter of quite distinct taste (sorry) about which some people have preferences. Dressing it up as pretentious wankerishess is clearly fun for lots of you, but it's really not the point. (And as I say upthread, I could easily make this into a race not class issue in any case.)

The comparison is not the same Thurlow. It is more akin to asking whether you want a glass of orange juice and then giving some squash. They are a different drink.

Oh the inhumanity no cafetiere and fair trade beans that have been processed through a cat ?? me and OH hates coffee i have m savers for guests so your better than me i also use mine as fridge freshener

Yes, I did say I was amazed about the instant. No, I don't have a 'butler'; there aren't shelves and shelves of instant coffee in Catford Aldi, though.

If you said yes to a sandwich and then left it untouched because my bread didn't suit your "preference" I would similarly think you an arse!

And the only reason I was amazed is I am very rarely offered the sodding stuff. So had kind of ignored the two types of jar in Catford Aldi. Sorry to bust your balloon and all.

Instant-coffee drinkers on here are being AMAZINGLY defensive about it. Much more than the real-coffee drinkers are being snobbish. No one's insisted on beans that have been processed through a cat, and I don't think anyone would say to an offer of instant coffee, 'Urgh, no, I don't drink fake coffee'.

No, but if you said you only had one type of bread and someone said no thanks, that wouldn't be considered massively out of order. Or so I would think.

Exactly, OnlyLovers.

Exactly, bluegrass.

But it comes back to a comment motherinferior made earlier - I'm offered coffee, I expect coffee. Not fake coffee.

I don't expect anything when I am a guest at someone's house. I don't expect a certain type of coffee, I don't expect a certain type of bread, I don't expect a certain colour of wine, I don't expect a certain type of juice (especially when recent threads have shown that not everyone in the country has the same definition of 'juice').

I don't expect anything. I'm in someone else's house, they are giving me something, I am polite and I take what I'm given.

I had the cat-poo coffee and it was delicious but very intense. You would want to warn someone if you were serving that, as I was awake until 3 am.

there is actually coffee you can get which is processed through a cat which is why i joked about it but seriously coffee is coffee i love the smell but hate the taste

Actually, sorry to pick out mothersuperior's 'expect' comment, I see plenty of other people have used that phrase to.

Teadrinker, 'there is actually coffee you can get which is processed through a cat'. Yes, I know. I said no one had insisted on it, not that you'd made it up.

Me would you like some coffee i warn you its very strong though guest Oh yes please teadrinker me picks up confused tea cat and the litter scoop while guest looks confused !!

We only have instant. I find cafetieres a faff to use and hate the proliferation of those capsule coffee making machine that produce a disgraceful amount of waste per cup, compared to a glass jar that can be recycled. I do enjoy a nice cup of 'real coffee' but not having it at home makes it more of a treat when I have one elsewhere and I doubt I'd sleep if I was to have it regularly at home anyway.

There are only two houses I visit where I do get offered real coffee. One is my parents the other is my PILs, so it seems the theory about only the older generation drinking instant is a bit off the mark.

I would never have thought of telling visitors 'we only have instant' any more than I would be rude enough to leave or turn my nose up at an item of food or drink offered to me at someone else's house.

This thread is just so typical of MN and the assumption that we all have to do things the same way and have a certain brand or quality of, well, everything or we are somehow - less than. Years ago it used to bother me and I would find myself worrying about whether or not I was regularly committing social suicide with my lack of grace and taste - fortunately I have since grown up and realised what's important in life - and it's definitely not which type of coffee you keep in for visitors!

OK, I assume it'll be real. My expectation is based on my assumption. Clearly, my assumption is wrong. I shall tailor my expectations accordingly.

If you are offered something which you know or strongly suspect you won't like and politely decline, that's fine.

If you are offered something and accept on an assumption it will be similar to your preference then discover it's different and you don't like it, it is rude to leave it. If it will not kill you / bring you out in an allergic reaction / make you otherwise physically unwell, then suck it up (literally!) It might not taste very nice but it's one drink (meal, whatever) out of your lifetime. Your right to express your preference does not trump the feelings of your host when they have made the effort to be hospitable towards you.

The first time I went to a particular friend's house for dinner, she had forgotten I was (at the time) vegetarian - I didn't bang on about it - and proudly served up a homemade lasagne complete with about 1.5lbs of mince. I kept quiet and ate it, because I didn't want to embarrass her or make her feel rotten when she had gone to an effort. Her feelings as a friend were more important to me at that moment than asserting my vegetarian principles. Being given one cup of not-particular-pleasant-tasting coffee would have been a walk in the park compared to that!

And do stop with the converse assumptions that faced with a cup of instant coffee I, or anyone else, 'turns their nose up'. The worst I do is not finish the wretched stuff.