'Why isn't my child Mary' syndrome

[Pud2]

AIBU to get irritated by parents who complain to the school when their DC doesn't get a good part in a production?

Hrft but ime Mary and Joseph are now technically the 'worst' parts to be given. Non speaking and given to the shyest child who needs a confidence boost. The 'best' role, as in the most speaking, is either a donkey or a towns person etc.

MiddleAged's first post has it spot in as far as I'm concerned.

I was always ALWAYS the narrator. It was so dull. I wanted to act.

Even when we did Shakespeare in secondary school I got cast as the "Prologue" (Father Time, in that particular play) rather than a real part. I never got to dress up in the pretty clothes still stroppy.

On the plus side, my daughter DOES pretty much always get one of the main parts - she was the innkeeper in "The Innkeepers Breakfast", Alice in Alice in Wonderland, the mother in some play they are doing this year about getting ready for Christmas, etc. But I think this is because she is excellent and extremely talented is quite pushy at school and makes sure that her teachers know she wants to do it.

We have a proud line of shepherds. I was a shepherd every year at school (so wanted to be an angel) and now for 2 years ds1 is following in my shepherding footsteps - he looks good in a dressing gown and tea towel!

My dc were always chosen for significant parts. Unfortunately they have good clear speaking voices, can pull off a good solo, play instruments and are ok looking. So people always notice them. I'm nowt special, didn't even partake of the school gate mums gossip when they were at primary.

They both maintain the best year was when they had been off sick and had to be slotted in as a sheep in the nativity, and part of the plant in Little Shop of Horrors. Actually they did look as if they had great fun. DS was a fantastic leaf, he really went for it.

Mary was always the girl with the longest hair in P2 at my school.

I secretly suffered from this. A few days ago dd2 casually dropped into the conversation that her teacher had wanted her to read a poem at the Carol Concert but she declined because she didn't want to make a mistake and didn't want the extra hassle of having to learn her lines. What with that and dd1 casting herself as a dog in a class assembly once so that she only had to remember to say woof.

It appears that my quest to be able to sit proudly and bask in reflective glory has been scuppered at the first hurdle by my own flesh and blood. heaps the full weight of parental expectation onto ds, high hopes for Nativity play 2016, watch this space!

I queued up in the cold for the school play only to find that the school governors, the PTA & their guests were already seated. They had the first two rows reserved so about 30 seats.

They also happened to be about 6 feet tall so us mere mortals who
were sat behind them couldnt see
anything.

They were also given cups of tea & biscuits while we were stood outside freezing our arses off. Their kids all got the starring roles. This did not happen last year because there was a different PTA group in charge.

Good old equality eh!

I always thought Mary would have been brunette!

The star in our schools production was the biggest, most beautiful and cleverest girl in year 5. Fortunately she can't hold a tune, so the rest of us didn't have to feel too jealous.

They always puck the children of staff to play big parts too. Same bleddy children year after year.

My Ds just stood at the back and looked adorable, and I'm ok with that.

My dd is Mary this year which is quite impressive given that she's in reception.
I was really proud and looking forward to seeing the play until the script came back and I realised that I'm actually the proud possessor of angel 3.
Which proves that neither my dd or the school have a clue given her behaviour at times

When my DS2 was in Juniors they put on Joseph and he was in the chorus. It was really disappointing because the teacher did all the narration when he could so easily have split that up and given a few lines to each chorus member. I think each parent would have been very proud to see their DC step forward from the chorus to read. I can never understand why the teacher organised it like he did. It left a bit of a sour taste.

I never complained but did find it hard to explain to my daughter why she was playing Joseph and why she was playing a shepherd along with the other boys when the other girls were all innkeeper's wife, Mary, angels etcetera It never bothered me, it was just bemusing given there was no shortage of boys and no role reversal i.e. a boy wasn't playing Mary.
Told her she had a good voice and she was fine but it was a funny one Mummy does she think I look like a boy?!

I was always an angel in the Nativity, being cursed with blue eyes and at the time white blond hair. No lines but we all sang the various carols.

Mary I seem to remember was always brunette and got to wear the blue velvet dress. Us angels got palmed off with floor length 'gowns' made out of white sheets and halos made out of wire coat hangers and silver tinsel.

This has brought back memories of my primary school....proper parts were only ever given to the white, blond, middle class children. Poor Maria from the council estate or Farah from the ethnic part of town were forever destined to be trees or sheep.

One year my school decided to do the story of Rama and Sita in an effort to reflect the multi cultural mix of the school. Sita was played by a white girl. What more can I say.

I do hope its different in schools these days?

Oak: so was I and it used to annoy me. Now I realise its because I could read and speak clearly which about 90% of the class struggled with

Hi Pud2 We haven't thread collided for a while

I got to say 'My Johnny was knocked over by a camel last week' in my nativity.

I was also an angel but fucked it up

DD is type cast as an angel as she has blonde, curly hair and looks misleadingly angelic.

DD (4) is Mary in the nursery nativity play tomorrow - I'm very excited (but no more than last year when she was an angel). I was a bit surprised as she can be very shy in groups though it is a non-speaking part.. She was clown 5 in a little show at the weekend, looked petrified and forgot to come in with her line. At one point she was hiding at the back while on stage picking the sole of her shoe?! I hope she won't have her head down picking her gladiator sandals in the stable with Joseph and baby Jesus tomorrow! I am very proud of her any way ;-).

DS was a fantastic leaf, he really went for it.

This has made me laugh.

I'm amazed parents care so much, I really am.

My children will never have lead roles. They were born to mooch at the back, it's congenital.

my blonde, curly angelic-looking little boy is a King this year. Last year he was a sobbing shepherd (cried the whole way through in fear, sat on his favourite TA's lap being cuddled)

We had a Korean Santa one year, he was bloody marvellous :)

DS2, bless his cotton socks was a robin in his first school nativity, I bigged him up I really did. The next year he was Joseff (we are in Wales, Mair and Joseff here none of you common old Mary and Joseph .) I was really excited, and told him he was the most important part and I was very proud. 'But Mummy' he replied 'you said the robin was the most important part'. . My boys (both Joseffs, different years ) are in secondary school now and I am having a bad attack of nostalgia.

In defence of governors, my DD was not just a non speaking member of the angelic choir today but while all her fellow angels had stand up feathery wings, she got allocated the butterfly ones that kept falling over ...

I'm the Wrong Sort of governor, it's official

To be honest I think schools just pick a confident child who wants to do it and will learn their lines/practise at home.

Generally teachers just try to be sensible and give bigger parts to kids who can speak loudly in front of the audience etc. My ds never has speaking parts, my dd always has major parts - because that's how they are - ds has a quiet voice and dd has a big voice and follows instructions. Their intelligence levels are equal, it's just they are different to eachother. However I do notice at our school that teachers' kids will never be "left out" or get the completely rubbish parts. They'll only get the main part if their skills warrant it but if not, they'll have a middling part, rather than being part of a herd of sheep or a tree etc.