'Why isn't my child Mary' syndrome

[Pud2]

AIBU to get irritated by parents who complain to the school when their DC doesn't get a good part in a production?

I must admit to a fleeting 'why the fuck isn't he the leading man' thought when my DS was given the part of sheep 5 (or maybe 6, I can't remember- prosecco). But he's delighted and will make a very cute sheep.

I was always given a male part, King Herod in my first nativity and then Potiphar in my senior year. I must be quite masculine.

My DD5 is the inn keeper's wife, by virtue of the fact she belted out 'Knock, knock, knock at the door...' in class the other day. What her teachers don't know is that she's highly likely to freeze and cry on stage in front of so many people!

Ahh I had this conversation with DD2 yesterday -
First I've been on the PTA for years, treasurer no less...so not even a minor player and neither of my children have ever had a main role in a play. True for rest of PTA (and one is now a teacher at the school) - so bang goes that theory.

In our school they do alternate years infants and juniors. The infants do Nativity and the juniors a play. They often do a small summer play too..
I found that Mary & Joseph don't actually have to say anything and at least a couple of times one of the 'naughty' boys has been picked to be Joseph - think cos they are on the stage most of the time so don't have an opportunity to get up to mischief at the sides...and Mary has been a quiet calm girl of a similar height.
DD2 this year with the rest of her class are chorus - mainly because they have just moved up to junior so are doing the play for 2 years in a row - and DD2 is incensed. Complaining that she didn't have a role in the summer show either. (Thinking about it the year younger all had the main roles in that because DD2s class were going to be doing the Christmas play ...but they are all chorus so don't know how that worked out). Anyway DD2 has put herself forward and will - so it will be interesting to see what happens. She had SALT for the first 18 months of school, but her speech is now clear - she did have a few words to say last year (after her difficulties, it brought a tear to my eye) but it would be a fantastic confidence boost for her to get a bigger speaking role. But there are at least 4-5 very confident children in her class who have been narrators/had main parts in previous plays ...and are likely to get the leading parts in future.

My only complaint would be that the teachers always chose the most confident children (and I can understand why) for the main parts but it is the same children every year and this means the less confident never get a chance...so never get a chance to increase in confidence. And I think that isn't really fair.
My DD1 had two 'stars' in her class - natural performers and you knew who would have the main roles before the children knew... same for church services etc - always the same children. Even in the last service where some of the children share their memories of primary school - DD1's was a memory shared with one of the 'stars' - the 'star' read it out (Unlucky's DD and I were etc), DD1 didn't get to speak.
I did wonder if it was because DD1 would crumble under pressure etc but for Sunday school she has done a reading in church a couple of times - long, complicated text and carried it off - clear, no mumbling - perfectly confidently....she could have carried off a main role but never got the chance. At least she has had that opportunity for a confidence boost - whereas some of the others never did....

If it reassures people, I am a parent governor, my DD was this year the donkey's mother, last year was some kind of generic child-in-the-crowd and the year before was a rabbit. And this year I got to sit 4 rows from the front. So ner!

A boy at our school nearly always got a main part in productions. He had an amazing singing voice and very 'actory'. He went to senior school 2 years ago, but he turned up in a semi-final of last years Britain's Got Talent!

As a parent of a penguin and one of 5 narrators this year I can honestly say I don't care too much. In my experience it does vary year on year. My dd is more interested in drama and comedy. She's looking forward to secondary school where she hopes there will be more scope (and auditions!).

All the parents at DS1's school have been fine about whatever part their child's been assigned - I think we're all realistic about what a bunch of 4, 5, 6 and 7 year-olds will manage anyhow (although, judging by harvest festival, they're actually a rather good bunch at singing/speaking! So I think it'll be pretty good)

DS1 got Joseph though, so I might be seeing it all through rose-tinted specs (I think he's the youngest boy, and it's a non-speaking part in their play).

I was talking to my DD about this the other day,she had 2 roles that were quite big, but what part was her favourite? The sheep! OK she was chief sheep but the best part was that the teacher swore her and her shepherd to secrecy over the sheep tricks she had to do. It brought the house down, so 30 seconds of fun and 13 years later she still loves it

I complained this year. My dd has autism and every year is given a one liner and the part of "narrator". She's more than capable of more and last year learned the entire KS1 performances lines and acted it out for me (repeatedly). This year (year 3) for the fourth year in a row she was narrator and cried about it. I felt that they were wrong in what they thought she was capable of and this is an ongoing theme. They don't include her in a meaningful way, just the bare minimum. So yes I emailed pointing this out while accepting that parts could not be changed etc and will do so again next year to "remind" them.

Nicki How many children are the teachers in your dd's school trying to accommodate? Because in my school, with 60 in each year group (and usually two year groups involved in each production), to get a speaking part of one line every year would be quite an achievement.

A friend of mine with long dark hair played Mary more than once. Then my best friend's little sister (dark hair, curls, angelic, olive complexion) played angel Gabriel and we were envious And proud.

I must admit I'm a bit peeved on this subject. DD including preschool has now been an angel 4 years running. It's a very ironic typecast also :)

They all get a speaking part clam. At least one line. And I am not just talking about the KS1 performance I am talking about every single termly class assembly since she started there four years ago. So that is 15 performances with one line in each and other children getting to play bigger parts repeatedly.

Last year DD was picked to be Mary but refused as one of her friends wanted be Mary more.

Narrators at our shows are a 'main' role - in that they are always visible standing right at the front
Chorus type roles - shepherds, stars, angels get to go on the 'stage' once but for the rest of the time they have to sit at the sides in rows, same level as the audience and unless you are on the front row you can't really see them and even then if they aren't at the front of their rows you might not be able to.
And I have never been on the front row (despite being on the PTA ). I did try one year, turned up for the evening show with DD 10 mins before the children were supposed to be dropped off and still all the first 3 rows had been taken...I sit right at the back in the aisle so I can stand up if nec to see.
And while we are talking about being able to see your child ....I video my DDs (to show their grandparents who live a long way away -never get to see them do things like this). I use a camera and hold it close to my body/face - please don't hold recording devices in the air at arm's length - especially not tablet sized ones - when you are near the front so no-one behind you can see past it.
One year I got the best view of my DD through the person in front of me's mobile. Last year we have the funniest video. I'm trying to video DD. Someone on the front row is holding up a large mobile right in front of her. So I move the camera to the other side of the body in front, just get a good view of my DD then the mobile person moves their phone and blocks her, so I move again and the mobile person moves...repeat for the whole song - I know they weren't doing it on purpose but it really looks like they were...

My dd is Mary!

There are 90 kids in year so they have three marys taking in turns. They pick them out of a hat so it's fair.

The thing is that she is blond and blue eyed and I am a governor! But I swear it was out of a hat! X

Reading all this I quite like the method of casting at my school - they ask the kids what role they'd like and then put all the volunteers for each role into a hat and pick, apparently!

In reception, Ds1 didn't have a part as he cried the whole time in MS during rehearsals and refused to take part. Same for year 1, although he did memorise the entire script and would call out someone's lines while sniffling next to the "stage" if someone forgot. Since moving to a specialised school, he has been a sheep (nonspeaking - although frankly I don't know any sheep that actually do speak ), Joseph (also nonspeaking), and now this year a narrator (one of a number of narrators, so a few lines).

Ds2 was a dancing snowflake last year in reception and a dancing goat this year in Yr 1. I'm sensing a "dancing" theme here. He's not keep on speaking in public at all, so I think they're wisely avoiding giving him any lines to remember for now.

Quite frankly, I'm just happy to get through the nativities without either of my dcs causing any chaos. That's really all I ask at this point.

He's not KEEN on speaking in public. Sorry, typo.

It's so precious when parents complain about a part their child is given.

At DS's school, he has been a 'star' (chorus line), small narrator part, a king and also played the lead role as Father Christmas. It's always been mixed up each year and everyone gets at least 2 or 3 lines to say. As the Chair of Gov's I have never been given any special treatment. I normally end up standing at the back, never mind getting a seat.

I feel sorry for the teachers, as they really do their best to include everyone, despite complaints from precious parents that their darling child is such a star, they should have the best part.

My sister is a teacher (head of year 2 at the time) and they had 180 kids who needed parts in Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Despite every child having a speaking part, some parents still felt the need to complain. The only parent who didn't complain was the Sheikh, who's daughter only had a very small part, but was the proudest parent there.

My dc never get the plum roles. Ds2 had a part carved out of another characters' part this year. It turned out to be pretty decent though as I think he kept being given extra lines as he did so well in learning them.

I only recall being in one nativity play, way back in '76. I was a shepherd. I wanted to play God but George Burns had already been cast apparently.

If you have to fit 60 in a play at least half have to have minor roles!
I am convinced that some parents have no interest in the play - they would like a long line,dressed up, with equal lines to say!

DD (4) is the angel Gabriel. She is blonde and blue-eyed but, most importantly, could remember both her lines the day after she got them and has a very loud clear voice.

And, yes, I know Gabriel should be a boy!

My dd, 4, is Mary. She wants to be an angel.