'Why isn't my child Mary' syndrome

[Pud2]

AIBU to get irritated by parents who complain to the school when their DC doesn't get a good part in a production?

I know nothing and care less about FB groups and cliques.

However, several people said they found a particular comment a little unpleasant, and made their points about why. Their objections actually had nothing to do with the person who'd said it, and didn't make any reference to her as a poster. They just didn't like the sentiment, as I read it.

The comment was then defended on the specific grounds that it comes from a particular poster and that this poster enjoys 'winding you up'. Because it is this poster, 'you' should get over it - it's what she does, don't you know?

Now one can see why this sort of thing makes people think it terms of cliques and trolling.

I've definitely sat through a fair few school productions and had uncharitable thoughts - but it's fine for people to think that's not a nice thing to say. It doesn't mean those people are a) humourless or b) need to get on board with my particular brand of winding them up.

My dd has been Mary twice and I am not on the PTA or anything. Her school was a C of E school and normally it's the kids who go to church get the main parts in everything but we don't go to church either :)

And yet it's fine for the offended posters to make thinly veiled references to trolls, films like Mean Girls and Heathers, etc? Really? Someone pointing out that another poster was mildly piss taking is worse?

Priorities and common sense seem to have vanished in the 6 months I've been gone, and been replaced by humourless Po whining about cliques

No, I don't think there should be troll-calling, and I disagreed on that point.

Again, here's what happened:

3 or 4 posters disagree with particular point, without even, I don't think, mentioning the poster or making any sort of personal points about it.
Those posters are reminded that it's this poster, so they should get over it.
One of those posters used the t word and was contradicted, I think quite rightly.

Not sure how any of that is whining or humourless, but that's a bloody good way of silencing people, isn't it?

I always used to wonder why Mary was always played by blonde children. She'd have been a brunette!

I have one brunette who was Mary, and it was a big speaking part her year as well, so that was great.

Also one blonde who was a stable girl :)

I used to get a lot of good parts at school because I turned up for every rehearsal and could remember my lines and everyone else's. My parents were never on the PTA, or were governors or helped at school or anything like that, but I still got a lot of stick from other kids (and sometimes directly from their parents ) about it.

Oh I think you and I know it was very, very clear who they were referring to. And I still think there is nothing wrong with explaining that a poster is posting tongue in cheek. Particularly as the snarking started pretty much as soon as there was an excuse to.

Some people post on here for fun and entertainment, others seem hell bent on stopping that.

Actually, I'm surprised how many Marys there still clearly are - our primary performances were more often about sheep, old reminiscing grandfathers, chirpy stable boys and animals generally, IIRC. Where there was a Mary, it was usually actually quite a small part.

Though there was a Mary in the secondary school carol concert last year, come to think of it. 'The son of God? Born? On Earth? For me? My baby? My baby? My baby' etc.

What happens in a FB MN Group?
I have always wanted to know.

No idea, I don't do groups, cliques, or 'us lot'. I prefer to speak my own mind. I simply don't like the humourlessness that seems to have invaded this site.

When I was looking round the pre school for DS1, the head said; "just to be clear, when the Nativity comes, the oldest boy is Joseph, the oldest girl is Mary. There is NO discussion." She is a wise old bird.

DS 1's plays at school now seem to have the vast majority if kids having 3 lines each, and a different kid every time having the main role. I applaud their fairness, but productions go on for ages.

Laqueen has annoyed me more times than I can recall and I've told her about that on a number of occasions but this time: no.

Possibly it's because like her, I find school plays very dull indeed. I take my cue from my mother who stitched my blue-and-white costume from muslin and lining material when I was Mary, but didn't turn up to see me because she was working or bored

Neither did she watch me lead the tunnel-ball team (the event for the sportingly-challenged) to victory in the 1977 West Essex District Sports.

I was really good at swimming but she hardly ever used to turn up to cheer on my victories even though she and my father had lashed out a lot of money on lessons.

They used to pay for riding lessons too. My dad took me because my mum couldn't bear to watch my death-defying antics. My dad and I had a pact that I'd let him go to the pub if he let me perform circus tricks and she would be none the wiser.

If I could dig them up out of their graves without being prosecuted for some kind of disgusting offence, I might ask them what the hell they were playing at by being such disgraceful parents.

I realise they would be unable to answer me now. And more importantly, I loved them. And they loved me.

I've inherited their sense of humour and sense of balance and I'm so glad to have done that.

I suppose I would have been a sheep or other animal if I'd been in a Nativity play. Might even have been the manger covered in straw. I was in grammar school and in form 4M when we had an annual dramatic competition for our year. I really wanted a part. We did Pygmalion and I had a most important part for which I was ungrateful in that I was the one to open and close the curtains ......

Nativity plays at my school seemed to serve as a vehicle for teachers to stage the most ridiculous interpretive dances possible. Gabriel couldn't just tell Mary she was pregnant; Gabriel had to inform her via dodgy gymnastics set to mid-90s trance music.

I like the idea of the oldest boy and girl doing it, no debate! (and I say that as the parent of children with spring birthdays...).

We had a lot of 'moving to music', too - sort of walking very slowly with your arms in front motioning as though pushing fronds of jungle vegetation away from your path.

I can also sympathise with Laqueen here a little. DS and DD went to a Catholic Primary who put on a concert to celebrate everything.
These concerts were long, drawn out affairs usually consisting mostly of music.
There is only so many times in a year you can listen to badly played violins, recorders and trumpets for 90 minutes at a time, and lets not forget the odd pupil who 'could sing'.

DS went to high school and DD was moved into another school (nothing to do with the violins I add!) and her new school had a lot less concerts that were actually quite good. Quality over quantity.

Add message | Report | Message poster settingsitting Mon 07-Jul-14 14:34:10
What happens in a FB MN Group?
I have always wanted to know.

We slag off every single person that is on MN and isn't in the FB group. We meet up every second Thursday in the month, get drunk and start threads about poo, The PO, Centre Parks and Bumsex. JustineMN regularly joins us with her "Top Ten inane and boring threads I've had the misfortune to moderate" that we then snigger about. She then gives us the names and addresses of all new posters so we can send SS round if the new poster leaves their children alone for more than 2 minutes. We are called "The most important MNers Group" and newbies and bitter namechangers aren't allowed to join.

Or

We just chat n stuff.

Thought about the rest, but never thought of Justine joining in!

Seriously though. Chat about what?

Umm well on a quick glance, over the last few days - me moving, my friend needing a dog rescue, someone asking for a couple of phone numbers of shops previously recommended, a couple of competitions, VAT on tampons, a local page meet-up and someone going ARRRRGGHHH about their DH.

I envy you Tunnock that the school even noticed the coincidence between your son't name the the character!
One of my Dds is called Mary: three years in a row at various nativities she was the little shepherd who kept wandering across the stage in the wrong place when the narrator said that Mary had done something or gone somewhere.

Once my son and daughter were Mary and Joseph and O wasn't on the PTA

I even...

Years of being sheep, shepherds, stars, lambs etc here and my children have inherited my skill for being overlooked for the main parts. I was cripplingly shy though, not sure I would have wanted the bigger parts.

There are a few children at DC's school who get the main parts but they are normally the better readers and more confident ones.

But hey ho, I won the mums' race at sports day - we can't be good at everything even though I couldn't bloody walk the following day

i was given the non speaking role of Mary. Why? coz i was the loudest kid there and i had to be silent the whole time!

We all did speech and drama lessons at my school, meaning they had a pretty good idea of who could remember lots of lines, who might freeze, who could pick up a little cue or who needed "and then the second shepherd said in a big loud voice...". It probably made it easier! And because we all had to learn and recite a poem a week it wasn't such a big deal.

My DSis is still bitter about being 'demoted' from an angel without a speaking part to a narrator with a big one though (she was little and blonde and gorgeously angelic). She just about got over it when she was an angel with her Sunday School group at the age of twenty

I was always the competent narrator who could reel off the entire play, in order, songs and stage directions included. I wish my memory was as good now! But my favourite was doing the reading at the Carol Service. That was auditioned out of the people who wanted to do it for each year group and I ended up doing it every year (either in a group or on my own). I was very fed up not to do it in my last year - the Head Girl always did the reading. I made sure I learned it though, just in case she was ill