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AIBU?

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Original poster

Relatives kind of stealing our name?!

78 replies

jules2106 · 05/07/2014 09:49

hi everyone just posting this to hear what others think!we have a 3 year old called finlay& brother in law has just had a son who they have named Finn. they told the rest of the family that would be their boys name during pregnancy except us so they obviously thought it might upset us? mil told us before the birth (she was annoyed&didnt like idea).
we have obviously not said anything&behaved normally,& congratulated them etc but we're secretly a bit miffed!
are we being silly?

OP posts:
jaynebxl · 05/07/2014 09:50

I've got a sense of deja vu!

Pancakeflipper · 05/07/2014 09:58

It is one of those that you have to shrug off. It might be irksome but perhaps the BIL or SIL had always loved that name and were privately gutted when you picked it.

No one owns a name. Personally I would avoid too much likeness with close relatives (are you close? Will you see them much ? If not less of an issue for you).

Smile and laugh kindly at the Finns.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 05/07/2014 10:02

2 threads on this, you are very pissed off indeed! Grin

I'd be privately miffed too OP.

mipmop · 05/07/2014 10:03

Big fin / little fin

DoJo · 05/07/2014 10:54

Cardboard box!

Shesparkles · 05/07/2014 10:58

arf @ dojo Grin

My ds has exactly the same name as my sister's nephew on her husband's side, them being offended or upset didn't even enter our heads, which was the right way to think as they were actually very flattered.

Why would you be possessive over a name?

PitchSlapped · 05/07/2014 11:04

If you pick a popular name you have to expect other people might want to use a variation of it

callamia · 05/07/2014 11:05

You are being silly. It's a name that wil be with this child forever. His parents clearly liked it so much that they weren't put off by your child having a similar name. People can like the same things, and have the same ideas. It doesn't make your child's name any less special.

jaynebxl · 05/07/2014 11:06

Good point Pitch. It would be more weird if you had picked an unusual name and they had actually copied it, rather than a fairly common one which they have chosen a variation of.

WildCherryBlossom · 05/07/2014 11:10

A friend of mine has a first cousin who was given the same name. They also have the same surname and, with only 10 months between them were in the same year at the same school. Neither of them has ever batted an eyelid about it.

Badvoc2 · 05/07/2014 11:12

Sigh.
It's not "your" name and anyone can use it.
Ffs.

weatherall · 05/07/2014 11:15

How many people are even going to realise that the cousins have similar names?

I see Finlay and Finn as different names anyway.

Dp's nephew hashis exact name-mn too. They never consulted us. I think it's weird. If we had another DS we would use the same first name. I'm not going to let them stop me using a name I like.

AlleyCat11 · 05/07/2014 11:16

I've a friend who chose the same name as her sister. Couldn't talk her out of it...

Vinomcstephens · 05/07/2014 11:20

Well, you chose a very common name for your son so quite why you're surprised that someone else in the family has used it, I don't know. I think feeling miffed is quite childish to be honest - you don't own the name and I think you're just going to have to woman up and keep your "miffed-ness" to yourself....Smile

MoonRover · 05/07/2014 11:29

It's not 'your' name - it's a name. If it's anyone's name, it's your ds's.

Agree if you'd called him Ptolemy or Cosmo it would be odd.

I think you are being a bit silly. Might be a way for the cousins to bond, having similar names. My cousin and my brother have the exact same name first name and surname. and it's never been an issue.

TheEnchantedForest · 05/07/2014 11:36

I would be a bit miffed as well but it seems we are in the minority.
You can't really do anything though so try not to let it bother you too much.

zzzzz · 05/07/2014 11:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pluCaChange · 05/07/2014 11:42

A fish needs two fins, if it's to swim straight...

A bit like there are two places called Brest! Grin

Happydaysatlastforthebody · 05/07/2014 11:45

It's a different name. Yabu.

Primafacie · 05/07/2014 11:49

Stole your name? How much did you pay for its exclusive use?

Lucked · 05/07/2014 11:51

What is it you want to happen? Because there is nothing you can do is there?, you would look ridiculous if you demanded they change it and it's not going to happen anyway. Not worth a family war.

They must love it and probably agonised over it. They aren't exactly the same name which is good. You just have to pretend it isn't an issue and it sounds like mil has already voiced her opinion.

They better keep their traps shut though if your DS decides to shorten his name when older though.

eurochick · 05/07/2014 11:55

We had the name Finlay in mind. In the time we were ttc, friends of my husband's met, got married, had a child and called it... Finlay. I felt wounded when I heard. So who has a 'claim' on a name is not always obvious. I would still use it anyway but my husband isn't keen.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 05/07/2014 12:53

Send a card to 'Finn2' - maybe they haven't actually registered it yet...

Maleducada · 05/07/2014 13:03

lots of names are very popular but if you are the first 'ben' or 'hannah' in your own family i don't think it's unreasonable to expect your family to pick other popular names.

It is the height of thoughtlessness imo to leave one set of grandparents with two grandchildren with virtually the same name.

muffliato · 05/07/2014 13:06

You're so miffed that you started two threads? How many people do you need to say get over it.

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