Relatives kind of stealing our name?!

[jules2106]

hi everyone just posting this to hear what others think!we have a 3 year old called finlay& brother in law has just had a son who they have named Finn. they told the rest of the family that would be their boys name during pregnancy except us so they obviously thought it might upset us? mil told us before the birth (she was annoyed&didnt like idea).
we have obviously not said anything&behaved normally,& congratulated them etc but we're secretly a bit miffed!
are we being silly?

I didn't realise that this was a second thread.

I sympathise with the OP though. Cousins with the same name. The grandparents with two gc with the same name! I feel embarrassed for the grandparents telling their friends they have another gc, called.............. the same as the other gc. Embarrassing.

But they aren't even the same name.

YABVU

You do not own the name. It is not yours. Why can't you just be happy that they have the same taste in names as you?

No one actually cares.

Of course it is the same name! Outing myself here but my name is Finley, everyone calls me Finn.

While it's true you don't own the name etc etc, I don't believe all these posters who wouldn't be at all bothered or even surprised if their brother/sister picked the same for their child without even mentioning it. It's weird behaviour .

Mostly problematic for the grandparents though, with two grandchildren named the same.

Well it would annoy me. I mean your son will now be finlay when with his cousin. I picked my kids names and their shortened form. I don't expect friends not to use their names but I think I'd think a bit odd if my brother or sisters did unless there was a reason. In my family you only use the same name if the other person is dead.

Oh please, do just send them a New Baby Boy card to BIL, SIL and Finn from jules, MrJules and Finlay - they may have a rethink if they see it in black and white!

You'll all get used to it, GPs will have the worst of it.

I'd be secretly gobsmacked too, it is a bit odd to have close cousins with the same name but all you can do is go with it and keep that smile plastered on until it feels normal

For starters they aren't the same name, although I imagine your Finlay is going to spend all his life being Finn'd anyway.

It's a dreadfully common name these days, so you are going to find more than just the cousin with a derivative of the original. If you wanted Finn rather than Finlay then why on earth didn't you use it first?

In some cultures (Spanish, Italian etc) it is expected that male grandchildren will have granddad's name and female ones will have grandma's so you have families with 5 Antonios.

Robbing-names threads are too funny really.

It's fine because yours is the kid with the yoonique lower-case name, no chance of mixing up

My niece has 3 cousins with the same name, one from the other side of the family. I did think about it when naming my child, but decided to go ahead as it was in memory of a shared relative, a clear favourite of mine and DH, and the two cousins would rarely see eachother. Their surnames are different. We've had multiple names in the family through marriage and cope perfectly well. It's a popular name, and people with it will always encounter someone sharing it.

I think people should be able to choose the name that they want for their own child.

Wow some rather strong teasing posts on here!

Nevermind OP, be aggrieved and grumpy to your DP in private, as yes, it's a bit annoying... But then be gracious and kind in public.

Two reasons (!), makes you the bigger person and secondly, sets the tone for harmonious familial relations.

It may well become the bonding thing that brings two cousins together, and could be seen as quite cute as they grow, the two little Finns, marauding around family events together. Little ones always hero worship their elders, do your Finlay will have a little Fin shadow :)

So no, YANBU to have a moment of grumpiness about it, in private, but don't try and make it into 'a thing' to others in the family or you'll end up looking bad, and could end up causing awkwardness in the family for years to come.

YABU - it's a name. If you wanted to be the only ones with that name, you should have called him moonbeam, or snowflake.

Or maybe Mars.

I have three cousins all called John, never did get why my second Uncle and Aunt called their DS the same name as my other Uncle's boy.
The third John is from my Dad's side.

my cousin called her ds the same name as mine. I was livid. its a fairly unusual name (my ds was the only child with that name in their school, her child is now in the same school). I think its a really weird thing to do myself.

Tbh I would be annoyed by this too! Simply because it would be confusing for people, especially grandparents.

Ah yes. The origin of my username. I chose the name George and then a year later some couple, Kate and Will, stole it off us.

Fuming.

I agree it is bizarre. Every Finlay/Finley I know is called Finn for short.

Maybe Finn and Finlay are different names, but to the unenlightened (me) it's like you having a son called Benjamin and them calling theirs Ben.

It's stopping you from using the shortened form of your child's name. Or it could. You could shout "Finn! No not you darling, I meant the original, ha ha " but that's not fair on the poor little boy.

How the hell is it a problem for the grandparents, and why should their opinion matter that much anyway!?

Lots of people have named their children, particularly sons, after their dad or their grandfather, so families often have 2 or 3 people with the same name.

No-one owns a name. Be as miffed as you want, but it's entirely your problem.

I would send a card to mum dad and Finn2 from Auntie Uncle and Finn. Then never mention it again.

No one owns a name that's true...but I'd still be annoyed if it happened to me. We know a Finlay and we all call him Fin!

Take it as a compliment?

it isn't the same name though.

Is your son only Finlay on his BC & has always been known as Finn?

I think you should call their son by his full name every single time FinlayJones. Finn, share the lego with FinlayJones.

It'll be FinlayJoness' parents' fault.
Even if nobody 'owns a name' I think it shows a spectacular lack of 1) imagination and 2) consideration. And all the posters saying 'nobody cares', I really doubt it. Truly if their own sibling gave their baby the same name as their child, I find it very hard to believe that they'd merrily shrug and say "nobody owns a name!".

It's obviously not your name as people keep pointing out but that's not the point. It's bound to be annoying. You just don't pick a name that's the same as someone close to you. It's unoriginal and potentially confusing for other family members.

My best friend unknowingly picked the name we'd set out hearts on (both preg - she was 6 months ahead of me) and yes I was gutted but we just picked a different name which now I love even more.

You are not being unreasonable and they obviously knew it was odd by not telling you when they told everyone else. Unfortunately not much you can do now....