to warn you and also to have felt like bursting into tears after a long journey to the airport, the passport man asked me for proof that I was the mother of my children accompanying me ...

[LeepyTime]

Like alot of women, I did not change my surname on marriage, (now separated, but this scenario would still apply to married women travelling alone with their children with different surnames) and hence my children have their father's surname, a different one from mine. The passport man in Geneva airport asked me to provide documentation that they were my children, which I did not have, as have never been asked for it before. He left me dangling for a few minutes before finally saying we could go on through and to remember it next time. I was nervous and exhausted after all the stress of getting the car hire back and ferrying/entertaining my small 3 through the airport so this final hurdle nearly broke me. (Oh yes, apart from the last straw of my car starting but not actually moving when we got back to our final destination long stay car park - brakes stuck - a common thing apparently - but that's another story!). Has anyone else ever been asked for such documentation, I suppose it does make sense, but surely if we require it they should make that clear in the first place??? Oh well home now, happy holidays to all and those that need it please be fore-warned! :-)

My brother, his wife and her son all have different surnames. Causes no end of questioning. They live abroad and flubs lot; internally as well as abroad.

I think if you cannot prove a child us yours, then you are open to questions about abduction at immigration, fair enough. I am kind of relieved to hear that others experience it and it is not just because I have been careless enough to have more than one dad for my dc or whatever.

However, if you can prove that the child is yours, then I would be curious to know legally how far immigration would go to stop you if you did not have a letter of consent. Say, your ex will not give you it out of spite. Immigration are not qualified to make a judgement about that, a court is, and then, who has the responsibility of raising the court action to be 'allowed' to go on holiday/stopped from going on holiday? Surely the parent who is denying permission, if you are the resident parent? So the question would be, how much documentation do you need to prove you are the resident parent, and what would they actually ask for?

I think that's fair enough too. We often take kids' cousin on hol with us. She has a different surname, and doesn't resemble my family in colouring etc. I've frequently been asked to explain the relationship, but always have a letter of consent, and for acting in loco parentis, signed by both her parents.

But how do you prove it?

Birth certificate?
(That you sent off to get said child's passport)

What is it trying to prevent & is it working?

lavenderhoney I assumed it changed as families changed tbh.

Shame there isn't still a choice.

What about if you take another child with you that isn't yours? Surely a letter is going to be extremely easy to forge?

I would also be interested to know how many abductions it has foiled and how many trafficked children have been found through this system, although I'm not sure it is system as it appears chaotic and like people in the same situations are treated very differently.

Interestingly my husband has been stopped twice traveling alone with one child each time, even though they all share the same surname. I haven't even though I have a different name to my children. So, men are stopped too often if they are traveling. So, if I were a man wanting to abduct my children, I would take someone with me as their 'aunt' or female relative.

It does seem bizarre. Surely they could streamline it. Passport control person has a computer. Right? So computer could flash up "Parent: xxxxxxxxx, Passport number xxxxxxxxxxx"

If a child is reported missing/abducted there could be a note attached to the child's passport and both parents' passports saying "XXXXX is reported missing, ascertain child not with this traveller"

I have thought about just asking a random friend to write a letter "from" XP. I mean it's not like they have his signature on record - he doesn't have a passport!

I have got through in the past by just talking, but it's worrying - you don't want to miss a flight. Often we don't have the money to re-buy the flights, too. They usually ask DS "Is this your mummy? Where's Dad?" which is stupid because he considers DH his dad even though he's his stepfather, and sometimes calls him his name, sometimes Daddy.

My friend's child was asked "Are you Amelia?" and she said no because everyone calls her Milly

Haven't read the whole thread but the reason they have gotten a lot tougher on this in Geneva was because of the twin girls who went missing a few years ago. They were kidnapped by their father but the border control was made stricter as a result.
Crossing the france/switzerland border is very commonplace so it was a bit of a pain to carry around so much documentation. I was working as a nanny at the time and I had to carry a letter from the parents authorising me to take children across the border and a copy of the parents passport too.

To the question of how you prove it is xH/P signature, I just got dad to give phone numbers where they could be contacted. But it relies on goodwill. Interestingly, dad#2 made a song and dance about me requiring his permission to go, but when I asked him to get the letter notarised, so I could prove it was his signature, he said no need ...?? I think it was more about him asserting his PR than anything else.

From my POV, it was more about there being no comeback.

I've heard that they do this and it really annoys me as it is so outdated to think that everyone changes their surname on marriage. I agree that they should check that children are with their parents but to do this everyone should be required to carry relevant documentation (e.g. birth certificate) not just those with different surname.

Good point whatever!

The same happens to me each time I travel. I just take a copy of the birth certificate along with tickets, passports etc. The first time I was a bit put out but I see the reason they do it.

whatever I have the same surname as my DD but also have been questioned when leaving the country with her on my own. I carry a letter of permission from my DH/her dad and that has been fine so far.

I have the passport copies and contact details of my daughter and her husband as well as a letter for every stage of the journey/flight we are going on because a letter could be written by anyone.

whatever I have the same surname as my DD but also have been questioned when leaving the country with her on my own. I carry a letter of permission from my DH/her dad and that has been fine so far.

I'm glad to hear it. It does seem to happen more often to those with different surnames though. They certainly never question DH who has the same surname as our children.

We have never been asked when leaving the country, however we have been asked three times when coming back into the country which makes no sense at all to me,

Its in case you have taken a child from abroad, or are involved in some dodgy adoption process.

I'm always asked on the way in, on internal flights, and on the way out again.

You'd think that in this day & age it would be pretty easy to tie stuff together with regard to this passport holder being the child of these passport holders for example.
You know, when you send in all your valuable documents to the passport office!

yes you do for a uk passport, but maybe not for other nationalities?

I've been asked both going into the UK by the UK agency and returning home to the NL by the Dutch security. The Dutch people were quite thorough and I was wondering if I'd be getting pulled aside.

It's going to get more complicated now as both sons have their father's name but due to the UK passport office delays, the baby has a Dutch passport whereas his big brother has a UK one, though both have dual-citizenship.

Hmmm im going to have to dig out birth certs and marriage cert and proof of residency aren't i ...

this is one of the reasons we gave our children both our surnames.

ridiculous really though. having the same surname doesn't actually prove you're even related does it?

Sorry for the delay in response-

Financial wizard, yes I think so, but always good to check!

I have never been asked for a letter from DH when I was traveling alone with the dc (even to US). I had a friend who was living in France with her partner and dc, and he fucked off God knows where and abandoned them with no money, and she was terrified she couldn't get back to her family in the UK without a letter of permission from him. Took us all ages to convince her to forge the letter, and drive to Calais and get the tunnel home. (no one asked her, in the end).