to warn you and also to have felt like bursting into tears after a long journey to the airport, the passport man asked me for proof that I was the mother of my children accompanying me ...

[LeepyTime]

Like alot of women, I did not change my surname on marriage, (now separated, but this scenario would still apply to married women travelling alone with their children with different surnames) and hence my children have their father's surname, a different one from mine. The passport man in Geneva airport asked me to provide documentation that they were my children, which I did not have, as have never been asked for it before. He left me dangling for a few minutes before finally saying we could go on through and to remember it next time. I was nervous and exhausted after all the stress of getting the car hire back and ferrying/entertaining my small 3 through the airport so this final hurdle nearly broke me. (Oh yes, apart from the last straw of my car starting but not actually moving when we got back to our final destination long stay car park - brakes stuck - a common thing apparently - but that's another story!). Has anyone else ever been asked for such documentation, I suppose it does make sense, but surely if we require it they should make that clear in the first place??? Oh well home now, happy holidays to all and those that need it please be fore-warned! :-)

Id read on here that its a good idea to carry birth certs and marriage cetts, esp if you kept your name and the kids have only the fathers, and even more so if you have different passports. incidently a 13 yr old girl guide started a petition to get mothers name on childrens passport for this very reason. shall see if i can find it.

Thanks Romey, we are separated with nothing official in place yet, but very amicable and he is happy for them to travel with me. OK, I better look into it in more detail so I don't get into a sticky situation again. That is a good idea though, immigration could just ring their father and all would be well. I just will make sure I don't end up in that situation again. Thanks!

I always carry appropriate paperwork.
However, I have never been challenged on the way out of the UK, only ever when we are coming back home, and by the British passport control.

TBH I'm glad they do this...we were travelling home to Ireland for a wedding a few years back.

DS has autism and was wired and upset, they pulled then 3yo DD to one side and asked her to show them the passports and tell them who DS and I were and did she know where she was going and why.

I thought that was a very gentle, non-confrontational way of doing it, although the poor bloke got chapter and verse on what dress she was wearing and she wanted to get her suitcase out to show him her sparkly headband

I don't know why children's passports don't identify both of their parents on there. Would help with some of these situations.

DS and I are going to France (from the UK) without DP in August. DS has DP's surname, not mine. Do I need something to prove he's my son? This hadn't even occurred to me as a potential problem!

Yes it would be a great idea to have parents' full names on the passports. That petition sounds like a great idea. 500 that is so cute about your daughter and the sparkly headband :-)

Tbh I'm glad they ask. I'm sorry you upset but I'd rather someone questioned someone and make them upset (ideally not) then let a child go through that might have been stolen... Better to be safe then sorry. Can you bring the birth certificates etc

I always carry dc's full birth certificate (copies stapled into passport) and a copy of my marriage certificate.

this has been 'best practice' for years

sometimes even he dc are asked by border control if this is their mummy/daddy.

I had this situation a few years ago when I took my DCs and my DN out to my parents. I didn't get asked for anything when taking my DN out of the country but did coming back? I asked the immigration guy surely if I was abducting her I would not be trying to bring her back??

Bluestocking - I would say Yes! It was Geneva (Switzerland) I was travelling back from, and others have said that it was when travelling back into the UK from EU countries that they have been asked.

I don't have the right paperwork for this so thanks for reminding me. I have done a letter in the past for my husband to travel with my dd's but I am more likely to get stopped in the future as I have a different name.

Timely reminder, I'm sure many people forget.

I am sure it is good for preventing abduction, not so sure it is good for women or men fleeing dv situations and returning home, needing the permission of a reasonable sensible husband/wife, whether separated or not is one thing, needing the permission of a possibly dangerous or aggressive person is another. I know they should go through the legal hoops but sometimes people don't feel empowered to do that and just need to get away. Or what if they don't give permission as they don't like you going away with a new partner or whatever?

Yes, I had this coming back to heathrow before if changed to my married surname. I got a bit if a ticking off though!

I hadn't brought anything with me either but luckily was with my mum and sister which helped a bit!

This happened to me in Italy. The Italian customs woman was incredulous that anyone would not change their name on marriage. Luckily I was with dh. I send him through with them now.

Many thanks, will take his birth certificate!

I love that people don't understand why passport control on the way into the UK would ask. In my situation, it is obvious. The women abducting children may well be abducting them 'home'. If I abducted DD, I would take her from her Canadian home to the UK, right? So UK passport control would be the ones looking for it.

Yes, my most recent questions were only on return leg of journey into UK too!

TBH, in my experience, they have only been concerned that I was dc mother, not whether I had consent to travel.

I have been puzzling this one, as legally dc dad would have to prove that the travel was unreasonable or there was a risk of abduction for it to stand up in court. There is not a court in the land who would say, as I look after dc 95% of the time, I cannot take them on holiday. Thus, I can argue that consent was unreasonably withheld.

I think the point is more, in the absence of it having gone to court, this is not a discussion I want to have at the border when I have paid for our holiday out of meagre savings and it is the first holiday in several years! Plus, I cannot imagine a situation where I would be happy with dc dad taking either out of the country without me agreeing.

Roo - I know that is the last thing you want at the border control, trying to keep on your 'holiday' face for the children. They did just seem to want proof that I was their mother, not that I had permission from their father to travel. I wasn't upset at being asked as it is a good thing, was just surprised and then scared in case we wouldn't be let through and would miss the flight etc. Belt and braces next time!!

thread title like a flippen novel

I have been asked many times coming into and out of the UK for proof that I was ds' s mum as I haven't changed my surname on my passport. The first time, I was shocked as I hadn't thought to bring any. They let me through but warned me to carry his birth cert in future. I always carry his birth cert & my marriage cert now. I just felt silly not to think of it the first time.

Yes me too cheese

Hope you are ok op. It's stressful.

My 15 year old dd is going abroad later this month with a friend and her parents.

Nener crossed my mind but should I give them
Some letter of consent to take her or what?

Please advise.

It's entirely your own fault for giving your DCs you ex's name instead of yours.

It's not the 1850s!

I always carry DS's birth certificate, a letter from DH and our marriage certificate. Because I also have a different surname from DS and a different nationality.

I am usually questioned in a seemingly casual relaxed way- border control are really pretty good at that but it is obvious when you know what to look for! DS and I are like photocopies though. The BIGGEST problem I have had is that the first time I took DS to my home country I did not realise he actually needed a visa as he is British! That was a deep shock.

Letter of consent, notarised will not hurt plus your contact details.