to warn you and also to have felt like bursting into tears after a long journey to the airport, the passport man asked me for proof that I was the mother of my children accompanying me ...

[LeepyTime]

Like alot of women, I did not change my surname on marriage, (now separated, but this scenario would still apply to married women travelling alone with their children with different surnames) and hence my children have their father's surname, a different one from mine. The passport man in Geneva airport asked me to provide documentation that they were my children, which I did not have, as have never been asked for it before. He left me dangling for a few minutes before finally saying we could go on through and to remember it next time. I was nervous and exhausted after all the stress of getting the car hire back and ferrying/entertaining my small 3 through the airport so this final hurdle nearly broke me. (Oh yes, apart from the last straw of my car starting but not actually moving when we got back to our final destination long stay car park - brakes stuck - a common thing apparently - but that's another story!). Has anyone else ever been asked for such documentation, I suppose it does make sense, but surely if we require it they should make that clear in the first place??? Oh well home now, happy holidays to all and those that need it please be fore-warned! :-)

happy and a letter saying that they are allowed to take dc to a dr should it be needed.

good point mous

Brilliant will do thanks guys. Thanks mous and corn mumsnet at its best.

Op, I used to work at Canada customs (when I still lived there). In four months we had four cases of parents trying to kidnap their kids by bringing them across the us/Canada border without permission. Thank god we had the policy whereby we required a notarised letter and evidence of relationship. To be fair you were pretty silly not to think that you would need to prove your children were yours when crossing an international border.

I once had a women cry because I wouldn't let her through- she has neither a passport nor a birth certificate for her child. Instead she had a library card. And she kept telling me "but she looks just like me!!"

Good point re doctor. Dd has been hospitalised last 2 school trips. We are hoping for better this time. [sceptical]

I carry DC birth certificate, my birth certificate, both passports, decree absolute, marriage certificate, residency and contact order. We have travelled and lived in other countries and the only time we get asked if we are travelling with my child is when going through uk border control when coming back.

Sounds sensible to me.

Grumasaur my ex husband wouldn't give consent for anything. Would the residency order be sufficient to take my DC to Canada? Want to take him to see my friend in Calgary.

gretchen can i suggest wuthering heights as a thread title

get it heights? airport!!

Well glad it's difficult to be honest as children do need protection. Sympathy though op.

Thanks happy. Yes me too.

I meant to add - my DC are mixed race and look nothing like me.
Although they are much better looking than me.

Happydays you must provide a very detailed letter with names, addresses, and dates of birth and contact details.
I had to do this for my nephew (we used to take him with us on holiday regularly) and we were ALWAYS asked for it.

dolicapax When the Hague Convention (about child-abduction) was written the early drafts assumed that it would be by a father. It was only made "unisex" late in the drafting process.

But as you say there are far more claims for the return of abducted children by fathers than by mothers. The paradigm case is the couple who settle in H's country, the relationship or marriage is unhappy, she decides to go home and take the children with her, and he invokes the Convention and demands they be returned.

Goodness knows how often it happens and he just lets it happen!

financial, my understanding is that if you have a sole residency order, you can travel up to 28 days without needing consent from the other parent.

To the person who said about parents overseas trying to abduct their dc home to UK, I honestly had not really thought about it. Now you have opened up a whole new set of issues for me, as dc dad (who is stalling with sorting things legally) is not British and dc2 therefore does not have a British surname, and since we separated, I have kind of ignored the possibility that he could take dc2 out of the country and not return. But yes, it would be a possibility. I trust him not to do that now as dc2 is a handful!! But when dc2 is older... So yes, I guess that is why the law is there, I have been looking at it from the perspective of me taking dc on holiday for a week.

Now I think of it, I was once asked by the passport wallah about my relationship to my then very little DS when coming back into East Midlands. I said "I'm his mum" and DS gave him his best "you're an idiot" hard stare.

Poor Dutch DH was kept in "the back room" whilst they tried to call me unsuccessfully at work when he was returning from visiting his family in Holland with our DD who was 2 at the time, even though he has the same name.

He pointed out that I had booked the flights, that DD was traveling back to Britain on a British passport, to the address that she was resident at.

In the end they called her nursery who confirmed they knew she was on holiday with her father and expected her back tomorrow....they finally let them go through on the evidence of the nursery!

I agree though that its a good thing in principal but if someone wanted to snatch a child they could easily fake relevant copies as they are more likely to have thought ahead.

Now if we travel separately we have a full copy of everything including the permission letter, and yet I have never been asked once despite having my maiden name on my passport.

Thanks Happy for asking this question, I was about to start a thread to ask this very thing! Dtds (15) are going to spend two weeks staying with a friend's family in Prague in the holidays.

Here's the petition

I don't really understand why this upset you unless the passport man was a meanie. or you were just having a really crappy day

There are plenty of countries where women don't take on the males surname when they get married and I its normal and a good thing to be asked for proof of your relationship.

I hope you are ok now and enjoying your evening. Travelling with kids can be stressful at the best of times.

Thanks for this, I had no idea. I always get stopped and questioned (what is the middle name? where were they born? etc.)if I take them through as they don't look like me, which is why I let DH do it. But I have an upcoming solo trip, so good to know.

What would happen if you didn't have any documents?

wow, this has never happened to me, lots of flying back and forth, children have a different sur name.

This kind of thing is the only reason I changed my name after I got married - I kept my own for ages until I had children. Sorry you had to deal with that, it sounds awful. I can understand why they checked, and like others have said, it's probably a good thing that they do - but it would get to me in a really visceral way if someone doubted I was the mother of my children.

Is it just the different surname that is the reason that they ask?

I can see why of course.

Yes, the immigration person here did explicitly state it was because the names were different. Mine both do have my surname as well on their passport but clearly it is not enough.