to warn you and also to have felt like bursting into tears after a long journey to the airport, the passport man asked me for proof that I was the mother of my children accompanying me ...

[LeepyTime]

Like alot of women, I did not change my surname on marriage, (now separated, but this scenario would still apply to married women travelling alone with their children with different surnames) and hence my children have their father's surname, a different one from mine. The passport man in Geneva airport asked me to provide documentation that they were my children, which I did not have, as have never been asked for it before. He left me dangling for a few minutes before finally saying we could go on through and to remember it next time. I was nervous and exhausted after all the stress of getting the car hire back and ferrying/entertaining my small 3 through the airport so this final hurdle nearly broke me. (Oh yes, apart from the last straw of my car starting but not actually moving when we got back to our final destination long stay car park - brakes stuck - a common thing apparently - but that's another story!). Has anyone else ever been asked for such documentation, I suppose it does make sense, but surely if we require it they should make that clear in the first place??? Oh well home now, happy holidays to all and those that need it please be fore-warned! :-)

DD is only three so maybe

My child has a different surname from me. I am often asked at immigration but it has never been a problem. One time I was asked when checking in for a flight from Heathrow to prove she was my child and couldn't. They simply took away our passports and checked to see if the stamps on her passport matched with mine (we travel a lot) and came back 5 minutes later saying it was all fine.
A friend who works in airport security advises that everyone should travel with their child's birth certificate just in case. I will be signing the petition - it would make everyone's life much easier.

But isn't the point of a passport so you don't have to carry valuable documentation around such as birth certs etc?

All sounds a bit random to me with little real benefit. And the effect is to harass an arbitrary group of women. Who wouldn't get harassed if they took their husband's name???! But who could still be abducting?? ...

Personally, I am not sure that some of these checks will stop abduction. I used to be a risk and control person and so often totally ineffective controls are introduced because they sound as if they might work.

I think the current system seems very prejudiced against women travelling with children (different surname), although I was interested in the stat above about more abductions being by women. Again I am slightly dubious of that type of statistic - what is abduction and how is it recorded? My ex is less likely to be stopped when traveling with DS than I am and that doesn't seem right. He travelled with him to Italy at easter without any written permission from me. Yet I seem to be required to jump through hoops. Yet under UK law we have exactly the same PR.

There has definitely been a change in the last few years - it would be helpful if this type of advice was given when you make a travel booking. I only learned about it from Mumsnet.

I used to carry DS's passport as it shows I am the only person with PR ns therefor dont need permission form anyone else.

I've never been asked about it though

i never married my x and in my country he's no automatic rights (although they are given to him) but the children have his name, so yes, imo, focusing on women without a man's name bizarre and pointless.

Is this new? I kept my surname and son has his father's name. We travelled a lot without his father from when he was age 7 and I was never asked this.

My dd's are dual nationality and often travel on different passports than me, plus we have different surnames. We travel a lot, but I have only been hassled at Vancouver and Heathrow....but I always travel with a letter from dh saying the dd's have his permission to travel with me. I don't bother getting it notarized.

I'm also asked every time I travel with my grandchildren, and its no big deal because I always have letters from my daughter and son in law for each stage of the journey we are doing. I even have one for UK internal flights once we arrive in the UK.

Its not always enough though because very often Immigration Officers will chat away to the children, innocent enough questions, but questions that will have them knowing for sure if the child on the letter is the child on the passport etc.

Its better this way for all concerned.

That's ridiculous. What if they're not your kids? Are you not allowed to travel with any children who aren't yours?

It's not just abduction.

It is also about child slave labour and about children being brought in to the UK for other reasons.

Victoria Climbie was brought in to Britain on someone else's passport by a relative claiming to be her mother.

But a man with same name as children will not need letter from Mother and could abduct child with ease.
Stupid. unequal system.

My xH lives abroad, I have no way of contacting him ATM. Are you saying that if I wanted to go away on holiday with DS I could be stopped? wTF? How am I meant to prove anything without the ability to get permittion from a non-contact, completely absent father? And how much is a "notorized" letter going to set you back anyway?

Would be interested to know if it has ever prevented a child being taken somewhere by someone who shouldn't have them.

So it's not necessarily about being the mother-or father, but having permission to travel with the child?

So if you are married, do you need each other's permission?

Bloody ridiculous!

sapphire in theory the father needs the same documentation.

when dh travels with the dc he is usually asked a lot of questions and often his luggage is checked as well.

if there is a court order, it is flagged at he airport and they will not let you through.

Does anyone have a template for the consent form please?

There's no court order on my DS as it wasn't even contested. I had to pay a fortune to get divorced in the first place because XH refused to give me his address in order to prevent me serving him with papers. I had to get a special sort of dispensation from the courts in order to allow me to divorce the bugger. So do I have to go back to court to get permission to take my DS out of the country now?

quirky - someone said yesterday at the start of the thread that there is a sample letter/template on some airlines/airports websites so maybe you can find them there.
missy - I am the OP and it was proof that I was the children's mother that they were interested in, not permission to travel. In future I will be bringing both though to avoid the stress! Someone who knows more about these things can hopefully answer your questions. I think it all depends on your set-up/contact arrangements etc, but I will let someone else respond. Anyone?? Thanks.

But being the mother doesn't always mean that you should be taking the child anywhere anyway, so what is it all about?

I always get this and it's a pain in the arse. Haven't seen or spoken to DS' father in three years and I don't know where he is so I can't get a letter from him.

I've just got married as well and hesitating on renewing my passport because then I'm going to have three problems

1. Different name to my son.
2. Different name to the name on his birth certificate.
3. No contact with biological father.

I reckon I'm going to have to carry

• Full birth certificate
• Marriage certificate
• Proof of address, as we live abroad.

Pain in the arse. And what would happen if you were trying to escape a DV situation?

I know! It is so sexist from all angles, both from assuming you should have the same name as the father and also assuming that because you are the mother that it must be ok!

Leepy it happens to me all the time and I have the same name as all my kids

I've travelled regularly with my dc since they were 6 weeks all over the world alone. I've never been asked for anything wrt paperwork, and my dc don't look like me, and have different hair colours. And the baby pics at 6 weeks don't look anything like them at all!
However, they have been asked questions, when they were old enough, things like what's your name, what's your sisters name, what do you call this lady etc.

I remember in the dim and distant past being on my mums passport and not having my own though. Why did that change?