To ask your views :- Is being a mum a job.

[ICanSeeTheSun]

I can not decide if being a mum is a job.

I do see this a lot on Facebook, under employment is full time mummy.

Aibu to think if a mum is a job I want my employment rights, such as 21 day holiday.

Oh, and the term "full-time mummy" is just ridiculous. Is there such a thing as a part-time mum?!

No

Very irksome,Jinsei.

Occupation = homemaker is correct
Employment = mum is incorrect
Fwiw

I don't like homemaker either actually lizzardface. I love being a mum but absolutely detest all aspect of home making. Besides, I'm sure those with lots of money don't actually do housework.

No, definitely not a job.

Oh and as a side note. Anyone above the age of three who uses thr word mummy needs to have a word with themselves.

BlueberriesAndWine
Really? Really? Did you have to bring sneering at carers into this?

"Caring" doesn't equal parenting. Having a child without additional needs means many extra demands. For example, it could mean continuing to have sleepless nights until their teens, total inability to get childcare, children who don't toilet train before secondary school, or at all. The list goes on.

It is entirely reasonable of your friend to be upfront that she has greater struggles than someone whose children are fully able. Her life should not be subsumed as just "parenting".

I am a mum, all the time! 24/7 my children always come first, I chose to have my children and they are mine and my husbands responsibility.

I also work part time, this pays me to enjoy the life style We have, and give my children opportunity to do things I couldn't.

Having paid employment doesn't make me any less of a mum if that makes sense.

"In relation to this, someone on my FB describes her work as "full time carer".

She has four children, one of whom is autistic.

It doesn't sit right with me that she should single out looking after one of her children as a job just because he has additional needs. Surely she should be "caring" for all of them."

Caring for a disabled child can be very different and far more demanding than caring for a typically developing child. She may be saying this as an explanation of why she cannot work.

*with additional needs

No not a job.

Well, Unless you are daft enough to be in a job where it actually costs you money (and sometimes your sanity) to do it.

People only say it's a job when they feel the need to justify why they don't have a job....which is actually no one elses business!

Blueberries

My mum is a full-time carer for my dad, and that is down as her employment on Facebook, as an explanation for why she isn't working (not that she should have to justify it, but hey, that's the world we live in).

Of course she cares for us, she's our mum, but she has to go above and beyond 'normal' parenting caring, when she cares for my dad. I'd imagine it's the same for those who care for a child with any disabilities - of course they still care for and parent their other children, but the difference lies in the amount of responsibility, the extra work it entails and the extra emotional struggles it creates.

The issue is not whether being a mum or SAHM is a 'job' or not. The question to ask is why do we need to put our jobs on FB? And why is it that, when you do something for money, it somehow trumps anything that you don't get paid for? Why the emphasis on paid work as something that defines a person?

I say this not from a parenting pov. I had a colleague years ago whose husband sustained brain damage in a work related accident and he could not return to paid work afterwards. He got very downhearted when people asked him 'what do you do? ' meaning 'what's your job?'and he felt diminished and judged that he was not in paid work. my friend, to support him, when she was asked that question, would reply 'I like to sew, we spend a lot of time at our holiday home, we both like to eat out when we can' rather than the expected response of 'I am a planner.' I always remember her telling me that, it opened my eyes to an awful lot of lazy assumptions that are made about the value of paid work versus unpaid work.

So as a SAHM I would leave that question blank. I don't have a job, in the conventional exchange-of-labour-for-money sense. But I do a lot of valuable, useful and productive work each and every day.

I agree on the housework topic. I'm not a homemaker as such, well only pt anyway. Sometimes it is part of my role, other days I do none and dh does it.
I would argue that it is a job though for many who take it seriously as their job. If jobs were only considered as such, volunteers wouldn't be working in a job would they?
Also, you may be answerable to others in term of your parenting.
If you do a really bad job and neglect your children you are answerable to ss, in the future you are answerable for your decisions, your dc will want to know why you made certain decisions. If you have a partner/who is their parent, you are answerable to them as well.

If you SAHM - then I think your job is Housewife like in the 1950s where you look after the house while DH goes to work to pay the bills etc.

I also think for LPs who are SAHM while DC are Preschool age is a transition period, before they go back to work when the DC start school.

So no, being a mummy is not a job IMO

It's not like a job in the same way as being a wage slave is a job. It's more a list of things to do so your children don't wither and die in the absence of any other childcare. (I'm a wage slave...just added so I don't look judgey)

If being a mum is a job then it's the worst paid with the worst hours, no holiday and no sickness allow do the worst conditions of any 'job'.

It's a lifestyle choice.

I dont think its a job if it was would be a very rewarding one ? to me its just been a Mum a job is where you go out an earn a living x

But enjoying the activity doesn't exclude you from calling paid labour a job. Someone must get paid for doing Christmas window displays, that's a job I'd do for free.

It's work, definitely, but it's not a job.

(1) It's not a job
(2) The phrase "full time Mum" is a pile of stinking shit. We're all full time parents, regardless of whether we work or not
(3) When will we stop buying into this "argument" which only serves to divide us when we should be supporting each other
(4) I have been both a working and SAH Mum and have experienced both "shit smeared on top lip" dirty looks from people who should know better with whatever "agenda" they held.

//rant mode off//

TillyTellTale I am not sneering at carers at all and I'm sorry if that is how you read my post. I just find it odd that my friend would single out her role to one of her children as something she would put as a job description. It reads to me that she sees one child as work and not the others. I know this is probably not true but that is why I said it doesn't sit right with me.

I completely understand that it is not as simple as parenting a child with no additional needs but I just didn't think it was fair to the child to highlight this. Sorry if I have offended you.

Zazzie possibly she has put it down as an explanation for not working, but as a recently divorced mother of four young children, one with additional needs, she definitely doesn't need to explain herself to me or anyone else. She has enough on her plate.

Moomin I would be more familiar with the description of carer being used for one adult to another so maybe that is why I found my friends description unsettling in terms of her child.

Perhaps the term is used more than I thought in terms of parent/child relationships. Again, I am not belittling the role in any way, it’s just something I was reminded of when I saw this thread about defining your employment status in terms of your children.

No way is it a job. It's a choice. And obviously if you are a mother you are one full time, whether or not you go out to work. What a silly and sad thing to put on FB.

There you go OP, your answer.

Some people don't see it as a job. Other people do see it as a job.
See it how you want to, there's no correct answer, just opinion.