To tell her to take the stuff back?

[youbuggerz]

I'm 24 weeks pregnant and I have just started to buy baby stuff. I am working to a budget, deciding to buy the big things first like the car seat etc and then Ill do the fun stuff like clothes when Im on maternity leave.

My DM has been out shopping today and bought a load of stuff for the baby- mostly cute clothes. She is now asking for money for them from me.

I have specifically told her I am looking to do the shopping later on in the pregnancy. She's a bit of a shopaholic and doesn't have much money as she only works part time so I warned her that I didn't want her to buy anything for the baby.

She's kicking up saying that I can't expect freebies from her- which I don't, i just want to do the shopping myself and choose what i want for my baby. Besides, its all neutral stuff and I know what flavour Im having, i just haven't told anyone yet so i do want to buy gender specific items.

AIBU to tell her to take it back?

Not at all she is though! As if she's go out and get things you haven't even asked for then demand the money for it! Cheeky mare!

YANBU. she should have checked with you before she bought it. If she was giving it to you I'd say she's just trying to be helpful and thoughtful but to then expect you to pay for all the stuff she's decided to buy, that's just daft. Just say thanks but I really can't afford it.

Not remotely. Bad enough she shopped but to ask you for money is incredibly cheeky.

No!

I would point out to her that you didn't ask her to do this, if shes chosen to do it that's her problem.

Just tell her to take it back and yanbu but she is.Imagine buying stuff for your gc and then wanting the money for it.Its just so mean.

Jesus, I can't believe people behave like this? Did she misunderstand when you asked her not to buy anything? Otherwise, why on earth would she think that you'd want her to go out buying stuff. Totally yanbu.

Not at all. She can't expect to go shopping with your money.

Well, she'll have to take them back, won't she, as you don't want them and won't pay for them, and she can't afford them.

And I don't blame you at all.

Her view is that she's taken the time to go and get these for me and i'm ungrateful.

But in reality she can't help shopping.

Yanbu (can't remember if that was the q!)

She should either buy a present eg- no strings attached, 'I saw it and it was super cute' (and some neutral stuff is lovely!) 'please have it' or it should have been a 'do you want me to take some of the load off of you, buy some stuff I think you might need and you can give me the money for what you like and il return the rest?'

What she's done is mad...... Put your foot down!
I never even considered my mil and dm might have wanted money for the stuff they have bought us for dd.. I always assumed they were presents, seeing as we didn't ask for them!

Its not even as if its something i will really need like bedding, a mattress or nappies but loads of stuff from John Lewis.

Heck no.

She has a bloody cheek.

YANBU - You didn't ask her to buy you stuff, it's not as though you are incapacitated and can't get it for yourself, so if you're going to pay for it, you should be able to choose it. If she's footing the bill she can buy whatever she likes! Why on earth would someone do this? What was she thinking?

'Thanks but I can't afford to pay for it, so you'd better take it back. I will choose some things nearer the time'

Is she always this odd?

That seems really odd behaviour - does she have previous form for this? Spending money then demanding reimbursement without a previous agreement - well, I dont know what to say!

ps where did she find neutral baby clothes? I'd love some!

You do realise you'll need to nip this in the bud now?

Firmly tell her no...you will not pay her for it, and she is free to take it all back.
She's outrageous to do that to you.

I'd even go so far as to say that you would actually enjoy going to choose baby things yourself. If she's a bit of a shopaholic and you are able to, you could say 'Thanks mum, but I can't afford for you to go shopping on my behalf' If she enjoys shopping, suggest you go together, take the stuff back and just buy one item for now to satisfy her urge to spend.

Very unpleasant behavior actually. Who on earth would go buying stuff unrequested and then ask for the money for it all??

Just tell her she must take the stuff back for a refund. Don't enable this behavior. It'll go on and on otherwise.

if you like any of it offer to buy it second hand from her. you know 50% off

I was at john Lewis today, you must owe her a fortune! I looked around the clothes..... Then backed away from the prices!

redexpat john Lewis! I wish I was joking! they had some really cute unisex sleepsuits and grow bags and cardis (red and green primary colours etc) in the sale, 3 sleepsuits (all very unisex) for £6, which is cheaper than Primark!!!!!

Yes, its really difficult though as she did this for my wedding as well. I sound high maintenance now but the wedding theme was very elegant and urban, but she didn't get this and bought loads of things like wicker hearts and heart shaped candles (not our taste at all). When I explained I didn't want these damn hearts and didn't want to give her a chunk of the wedding budget for them she had a meltdown.

Whilst they gave a donation for our wedding fund towards the food, they didn't pay for anything else and would go nuts when she bought something and i wouldn't pay for it.

She is a bit. During the wedding she moaned about how little involvement she had but when i gave her the task of a chocolate wedding cake for under a certain amount, she found some links, emailed them to me and said 'Thats enough now, you will need to ring them'. Que her then moaning about how much the wedding was draining her.