Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my parents buy us a house?

134 replies

Anewmeanewname · 01/07/2014 15:06

We have been looking for a new house for a while, but have struggled to find anything meeting our requirements in terms of budget, location, no of bedrooms, garden etc.

My parents offered to help. DH then suggested a (to my mind) ridiculously grand property nearby that meets all our requirements, but that is also about £350k above our budget. I asked my dps about this house (in a rather joking way) & they've just offered to buy it for us outright.

This means we'll be able to keep our current property (the mortgage is almost paid off) as a rental property. This other house is a dream house, perfect location, massive garden, huge rooms etc. The children would have an amazing house to grow up in. Our current house is a 3 bed terrace - very nice throughout and in a lovely location, but only a courtyard garden and getting too small.

My parents are rich - giving us this money won't impact upon their lifestyle in any way.

However. I still feel grasping & uncomfortable. I've never asked them for anything before & have always been proud of what dh & I have managed to achieve on our own. On the other hand, this will give our dc the sort of childhood home we could never afford otherwise.

WIBU to accept the money?

OP posts:
SocialMediaAddict · 01/07/2014 19:21

Lucky you. I wouldn't think twice.

Can they adopt me?

ShouldHaveMarriedTimDowling · 01/07/2014 19:40

Oh ffs according to some posters here the dh has planned it all already: new house, new wife, new dc and a life of riley. No surprise some marriages end up so acrimoniously.

The op is right. "So be it". That's life.

(I'd agree the the current uk law re inheritance is not right. Where I come from the majority of the assets go to the dc by default. Only a small percentage can be given to the OW or the cat rescued. And that makes sense).

RockandRollsuicide · 01/07/2014 19:47

I am with you shouldhave I appreciate all the negative stuff but starting off on this foot is so rotten.

happy362 · 01/07/2014 19:47

you havent annoyed me. i just think you could have written it in a less boasting way which leads me to think this is not a geuine thread.
but i am glad other have replied nicely and taken it at face value.

RockandRollsuicide · 01/07/2014 19:49

Op

Only one or two people in these 5 pages have said something negative, why do ops get drawn to the posters who beat them?

Nearly everyone is positive and happy for you...albeit with small caveats about surrounding circs.

RockandRollsuicide · 01/07/2014 19:50

happy

do you see that no one but YOU has taken this as a boasting thread...its YOU who are reading something else into this ...

ShouldHaveMarriedTimDowling · 01/07/2014 20:11

Not even has a boastin, happy takes it as a lie.

There's plenty of folks who live on those sums, I am not surprised in the least.

eddielizzard · 01/07/2014 20:18

accept gracefully, take them out to dinner, sell your old house and give them the money. you've got great parents and it sounds like you're a great dd.

Tentedjuno · 02/07/2014 21:29

Hapoy, your name seems most inappropriate.

glasgowstevenagain · 03/07/2014 15:16

if we were to split up one day and I lost half, well, so be it

Easy come easy go

squoosh · 03/07/2014 15:19

I'd happily take money from my own parents would be reluctant to take it from in laws. I'd feel too beholden to the in laws.

FraidyCat · 03/07/2014 16:37

If parents offered to "help" then I think that should mean giving only as much money as is needed. Getting a nice/expensive house is OK, in fact I think it is a good idea to get as nice a house as can be afforded, but I think the old one should be sold to reduce the parent contribution.

Happydaysatlastforthebody · 03/07/2014 16:51

Bloody hell op. Yes yes yes yes yes.

Do they want to adopt another dd? I am available!

Grin
Appletini · 03/07/2014 20:01

Are your diamond shoes too tight as well?

hides thread

TheIronGnome · 03/07/2014 20:30

Sounds great! Definitely keep hold of your house to rent out- never get complacent with financial security, sometimes it can disappear as easily as it arrives!

If it makes you feel better you can always use some of the profit to donate to charity or treat your parents etc.

RainbowsStars · 03/07/2014 20:47

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mytwoblackandwhitecats · 03/07/2014 20:59

My home is mortgage free due to my inheritance from my parents - nothing like as grand as the OPs though.

My mum was fairly canny and I suspect knew what my dad was like: she had been dead less than three months and he moved in with another woman Hmm

To be honest we still did lose hundreds of thousands of pounds as my dad sold our family home which was worth around half a million after losing our mum - but she'd made some sort of provision meaning my brother and I got £150000 each.

My dad meant no harm of course, he was just very lonely.

Quoteunquote · 03/07/2014 21:00

Think of this as a gift of time, this will allow you to allocate time to the important things in life, you and your husband will be able to spend quality time with your children,

I hope to be able to provide a roof over my children head, so my grandchildren get full time parents, something I believe makes a huge difference to childhood.

You can now work towards being able to doing the same for your children.

I think your parents are being very sensible, thank them, and follow their example.

ShouldHaveMarriedTimDowling · 03/07/2014 22:29

Quoteunquote how well said: the gift of time. I could never quite articulate it this well myself. It is indeed the best gift.

mimishimmi · 03/07/2014 23:02

I'd only be worried about any possible reactions from siblings (even if they were doing well financially) but if it was all drawn out so that it was clear it would be coming from your portion of any inheritance, they might not have a negative reaction. Also, do you think it might come with any strings attached as they enter their old age, like expecting to move in with you and have you care for them as needed, instead of a home? You might not have any problem with that of course but I'd want that all out in the open before accepting significant financial help.

evelynj · 03/07/2014 23:11

I agree about time-was just going to say my fil helping us buy our house outright has. Been life changing for us. Nice area to live in near family & I can spend more time with the kids for a few years without worrying about a mortgage. Also you'll have rental income? Winner. Tell them thank you very much & it means a lot & you realise you're very lucky. Enjoy!

AnsonsVoyageRoundTheWorld · 03/07/2014 23:13

I think it would be a good idea to deduct the cost of the house from your future inheritence and making sure that your siblings know this. You may also want to fracture in some interest for the early payout.

I would also be very wary of thinking that because your siblings are well Off they won't begrudge you the money. It really doesn't work like that unless you are very lucky Grin

I think it is a lovely thing for you parents to do. Much better to give the money away now rather than to the tax man.

movingtoourwillow · 03/07/2014 23:33

Wow talk about stealth boast thread of the century, what an absolutely awful dilemma to find yourself in

Joysmum · 04/07/2014 00:16

We bought a BTL house 4 years ago with the intention that it'll go to our daughter, who was 7 at the time. It'll give her options and opportunities and she won't be beholden to us in any way shape or form.

I'm sure most parents would like to be able to help their kids if they could.

If there is not ulterior motives behind it and things won't be strained with siblings them why not. It makes sense re inheritance tax and I'd rather see my daughter getting options earlier in life to give her foundations to build the rest of her life on. She might sell it and travel the world. She might get an education. She might have kids and want to be a SAHM.

Only1scoop · 04/07/2014 00:32

'Dh then suggested a grand property nearby'

I wouldn't like that bit to be honest. I would hate my dp to do that if my parents offered to buy us another property.

It's a really kind gesture by your parents.