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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that actually a lot of women secretly think like this about having a boy?

238 replies

channing55 · 30/06/2014 09:16

I just read in the papers about this silly woman who had a boob job on the NHS, is now pregnant and said if she had known it was a boy she would have had an abortion and is drinking and smoking throughout her pregnancy because she doesn't care because it's a boy.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2673898/Im-drinking-smoking-boy-Pregnant-model-boob-job-NHS-says-shed-abortion-shed-known-wasnt-girl.html

I know most women who are pregnant with a boy wouldn't go to the extreme of having an abortion or smoking and drinking but I have heard so many negative remarks from mums pregnant with a boy about how disappointed they are and even when I was pregnant people made rude comments about (me) having a boy.

I actually think a lot of women are secretly disappointed when they find out they are having a boy and that this woman's horrible attitude is just an extreme example of how much prejudice and nastiness there is now towards little boys and the nasty cliches society now attributes to them?

OP posts:
OwlCapone · 01/07/2014 06:48

Freud would have a field day with the OP.

Is he a journalist too then?

MrsBungle · 01/07/2014 06:52

I wouldn't normally comment this far in to the thread as everyone seems to have said it already but I can't help myself! What absolute nonsense the op is. Total rubbish.

youbethemummylion · 01/07/2014 06:56

I have only ever heard of this apparent negativety to boys on Mumsnet in real life I have never encountered anyone be dissspointed that they/their daughter/daughter in law etc are having a boy.

Delphiniumsblue · 01/07/2014 06:58

Utter tosh! The woman has problems and should seek help- for the sake of any children she does have, if not for herself.
A child is a precious gift- not one where you say 'it was the wrong sort'!

merrymouse · 01/07/2014 06:58

I don't know, but does anybody know how much you get paid for being in this kind of daily mail article?

Delphiniumsblue · 01/07/2014 06:59

I agree- something I have only heard on MN. I have 3 boys and it has never been viewed negatively. (Certainly not by me)

numptieseverywhere · 01/07/2014 07:03

those of you saying you really only wanted boys, didn't want girls...just as bad as this Josie person. Shocked you can't see the depressing irony.

BrainSurgeon · 01/07/2014 07:04

I would seriously expect Social Services to be all over her as soon as the baby is born - how on earth can she smoke and drink on purpose to harm the baby!!! that should be illegal.

As Delphiniums said, this woman has serious issues and needs help, not someone to allude that a lot of women think on the same lines.

Angry
Partridge · 01/07/2014 07:04

I always read her name as "joanie Cunningham" and expect to read a link about a wholesome ageing star of happy days.

The only thing that disappoints me about having 3ds is the terrible mainstream media (and on here) bias towards girls. It is blatant and insidious. Look at all the anti-mil threads. Makes me feel so Sad and inadequate.

I adore my boys though.

Ronmione · 01/07/2014 07:05

I completely agree with you that little boys are seen as second prize.

I have two boys and with both have been asked if I was disappointed ( disgusting attitude )

I have 2 friends who are pregnant with dc2 one was devasted when she found out it was anothr little boy and the 2nd was quite cross that she'd have to go through the whole thing again to have a girl.

Poor little boys seem to be a disappointment before they are even born. It's very sad.

gruffalo13 · 01/07/2014 07:16

I have 3 boys then had a girl. I didn't have many negative comments when I had the boys, but I had many, many (and still do even though she is 3) comments along the lines of "you must be so happy to have (finally got) a girl (after all those boys...)"
I love my boys and girl, they are very different, all of them, wouldn't change a thing in any way. I know I am very lucky to be able to have 4 children.

bonkersLFDT20 · 01/07/2014 07:31

ronmione I have never been asked whether I was disappointed. Not once.
May I ask where abouts you live?

deakymom · 01/07/2014 07:39

i really didn't care what i had healthy was my only concern i admit i was surprised when i had a girl the first time but i think its because everyone told me i must be having one because of how i was carrying morning sickness etc i was really surprised when i had a girl! but disapointed no! i had two boys after and love them all i really don't like her drinking and smoking it makes me all judgy Hmm

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 01/07/2014 07:42

The only gender preferance I ha e come across in RL is a widespread assumption that everyone ideally wants "one of each" - I was congratulated for this "achievement" when I had a ds after dd, and then people assumed dc3 was unplanned as we already had the "holy grail" of dd and ds, so there was no reason to have another child... Hmm

Never come across more than the mildest gender preferance for DC1 though... my in-laws seemed to think DH needed greater congratulations fpr fathering boys (though they find DD easier) and my mother (and sister) seem to dislike boys as a "category", but not heard a parent unhappy to be regnant with a boy herself.

Purplepoodle · 01/07/2014 07:58

I wanted a girl until I fell pregnant then I just knew he was a boy and fell in love with the idea of having a boy. I then fell pregnant with no 2. When someone mentioned at 6 months the baby could be a girl, I almost had a fit. I knew little boys after having one already, the thought of a girl terrified me tbh. It took me until just before birth to women up and get over it. Luckily ds2 appeared

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 01/07/2014 08:13

I have 3ds and then had a dd.I get the "well at least you got your girl in the end comments" frequently.
I wanted four children I have four children end of.
I would have been thrilled with four boys and love dd for being who she is not because she posseses an xx chromosome .

Bluetroublethree · 01/07/2014 08:23

I have three sons and the only time I have ever heard any negative bias was a woman at playgroup with a singleton girl who looked at my children, and said "and of course this is why we've never had a second child, because what if we had a boy?" What a wally. Anyway, she DID have a boy and is quite rightly head over heels about him.

blackcats73 · 01/07/2014 08:34

I agree with some posters that if this story is true (I'm not going to click on it) it is a safeguarding issue.

If this family isn't on the social care radar then it bloody well should be now. (obviously the whole story could be crap)

sydlexic · 01/07/2014 08:50

I think that is the most UR I have ever heard.

OorWullie · 01/07/2014 08:58

Load of utter pish.

Josie Cunningham should crawl into a hole alongside Katie Hopkins, pair of attention seeking twats.

fromparistoberlin73 · 01/07/2014 09:25

are you for real? what a horrible post

not even worth a response but very insulting , of course women dont think like this you wally

and I read DM online but I even I ignore posts from that douchebag twat "model"

this has annoyed me as you can tell

CrayolaCocaColaRocknRolla · 01/07/2014 09:50

No, not at all. I want a boy.

CrapBag · 01/07/2014 10:15

YABU.

I don't know anyone in RL who would say anything like this. But then I don't mix with idiotic, publicity hungry halfwits.

When I was pregnant with DC1, I wanted a girl as I am quite girly and love pink and dresses etc. We found out we were having a boy and DH asked me if I was disappointed, I wasn't in the slightest. I was just happy to be pregnant (were told we probably wouldn't be able to have children without IVF).

I now have 2 and have 1 of each and I wouldn't have it any other way. In fact when I was pregnant with DD, I was looking forward to having another boy because DS was such a joy. I loved having DD just as much but there was no way I would have been disappointed with another boy.

CrapBag · 01/07/2014 10:19

MrTumbles we get that too "oh its so great that you have one of each" type thing. We also get the assumption a lot that we won't have anymore because we have the 'prefect balance'. If we want another one, its because we want another child, not because we want a gender. Similarly, if we decide to stop its because we have finished having children not because we already have one of each.

rideyourbike · 01/07/2014 10:21

What a nasty person she is. I hope her poor baby gets taken away from her and given to someone who lives him for what he will be... A perfect baby boy. All children, boys or girls are perfect, what a horrible woman Hmm