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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that actually a lot of women secretly think like this about having a boy?

238 replies

channing55 · 30/06/2014 09:16

I just read in the papers about this silly woman who had a boob job on the NHS, is now pregnant and said if she had known it was a boy she would have had an abortion and is drinking and smoking throughout her pregnancy because she doesn't care because it's a boy.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2673898/Im-drinking-smoking-boy-Pregnant-model-boob-job-NHS-says-shed-abortion-shed-known-wasnt-girl.html

I know most women who are pregnant with a boy wouldn't go to the extreme of having an abortion or smoking and drinking but I have heard so many negative remarks from mums pregnant with a boy about how disappointed they are and even when I was pregnant people made rude comments about (me) having a boy.

I actually think a lot of women are secretly disappointed when they find out they are having a boy and that this woman's horrible attitude is just an extreme example of how much prejudice and nastiness there is now towards little boys and the nasty cliches society now attributes to them?

OP posts:
NutellaLawson · 30/06/2014 11:05

I have two. Do I openly show disappointment?

No.

Do I secretly feel disappointed?

No.

I love my boys and we are thinking of having a third. Would be v. Happy with a third boy.

I think gender is one of the least interesting things about my children. You can be close to or fall out with either gender.

Happydaysatlast · 30/06/2014 11:11

I had 2 fantastic boys followed by 2 fantastic girls. Each is unique and beautiful.

This person is just desperate for media attention.

Shame you have her any.

thegreylady · 30/06/2014 11:14

I had a slight preference for a boy first (I had ds) but with the second I really wanted another boy (it was a girl). My dd has two boys and wasn't at all disappointed.

needaholidaynow · 30/06/2014 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 30/06/2014 11:16

Why on earth is this woman constantly in the papers?

Why does the Mail think she has anything interesting to say?

DinosaurFarmer · 30/06/2014 11:19

Rubbish, that woman is a fame hungry idiot who will do/say anything to prolong her 15 minutes of fame.

If she does feel this way then more fool her. I don't think 'a lot' of women feel this way at all - I have heard negativity about both genders.

I have 2 boys who are brilliant, funny and kind. If I was to have another I'd be absolutely thrilled with another boy!

squoosh · 30/06/2014 11:21

What absolute horseshit OP.

Titsalinabumsquash · 30/06/2014 11:23

How fucking insulting to mothers of boys OP. Angry

I was thrilled to hear each of my 3 were boys and when we have DC 4, I'd be just a thrilled if it were another boy.

stripedtortoise · 30/06/2014 11:28

There's at least one thread a week about being disappointed to be having a boy on 'the other mum forum'

Idiots. Sorry.

Meow75 · 30/06/2014 11:29

My friend has 2 boys and when expecting the first one10 years ago, she told me she wanted a boy so that he'd be a "mini-

LittlePeaPod · 30/06/2014 11:30

Oh please that woman skank is constantly craving attention and wanted to abort her baby to get on BB, FFS. Angry

Your post stating most women is a bit of a sweeping generalisation. That may be the case in your group of friends/associates etc. but I honestly don't know anyone in my group of friends that was disappointed regardless of gender. Everyone just wanted a healthy baby and safe pregnancy/delivery.

WillWorkForMoney · 30/06/2014 11:35

I always wanted a girl, I wouldn't have been bothered to have had a boy as long as I got my girl eventually. As it turns out I had 3 girls and am now desperate for a boy, although of course I love my girls to bits.

I'm not sure why I wanted a girl. I think maybe because I was brought up around girls. The lady next door to my mam had 3 girls whom I used to babysit, I had younger girl cousins so it was the "easier" option I guess. If I were lucky enough to have a boy, I'd still be a bit scared of the unknown IYSWIM.

mytwoblackandwhitecats · 30/06/2014 11:37

I'm the same as WillWork, a boy would be lovely - BUT, I would definitely want a girl, without a doubt, and since given my age two children are probably what I'm aiming for, I would feel a bit sad and disappointed if they were both boys.

Sallystyle · 30/06/2014 11:42

I admit that I always wanted girls. My first three were boys and then I had two girls. I came round to the idea in like two minutes flat though. I thought I would never have a girl as we planned to stop having children and rightly or wrongly, I was sad that I would never get the relationship I have with my mum with a daughter. I know logically that there is nothing to say that I will have this close bond with my daughters like me and my mum have, but I wanted to experience it myself. Sure, I knew I would have a close bond with my boys but I did want to experience everything that comes with having a daughter as well.

I ended up re-marrying and having two girls.

squoosh · 30/06/2014 11:42

I think there was one documentary on Channel 4 a couple of years ago which showed some women who were desperate for a daughter at any costs and some people have decided this means that all women only want daughters.

Let's not be under any illusion, in 99% of places in the world baby boys are still seen as the prize.

SagaNorensLeatherTrousers · 30/06/2014 11:43

Great first post, going full throttle with the goad.

Oldraver · 30/06/2014 11:45

I havn't read all of the replies.

I can only assume when I read shit like this that it is someone for whom being pregnant come easy.

For some people having a succesful pregnancy is all they could wish for

CustardFromATin · 30/06/2014 11:45

Nope, totally unfamiliar. Although when we announced we were pregnant for a these time despite having a boy and a girl we got a lot of winks and 'oops!' comments... Which confused us for a few days until we realised that a lot of people genuinely think that once you have the 'set' any more must be a mistake.

donteatthehedgehogs · 30/06/2014 11:46

What bollocks.

AMumInScotland · 30/06/2014 11:52

I very much doubt that 'a lot' of women feel anything like this.

A small number of people are disappointed with the gender of their baby, but that happens either way round, and can have a lot to do with family or cultural stuff as much as about the actual baby.

A small number of people make odd negative comments about having a boy, but a tiny amount of questioning/challenging usually has them reconsidering their weird attitudes and which tabloid headlines have caused them to feel that way.

I have a boy. I never once had anyone make a negative comment about that, or about boys, while I was pregnant, when he was born, or at any time since.

If people asked what I was expecting or hoping for during pregnancy, I said I didn't know and had zero preference. And everyone was totally fine with that and agreed that we'd all be happy with whichever we got.

TKKW · 30/06/2014 11:54

Agree Squoosh.

i was talking to a lady in her mid 60s about her new grandchild - she has form for being a teeny pro male and defers to males eg "man's job" or "that's boys for you/ boys will be boys"... Utterly over the moon to proud as punch announce her daughter and Son in law "got a little boy!". I was holding my newborn dd and she said "but aren't girls lovely too". it was as if boys were a prize to her. Subtly concealed sexism.

Igggi · 30/06/2014 11:59

I think this is nonsense. Also agree with squoosh, gender preference globally is for boys. I have two boys and no negative remarks ever directed toward me. Very happy to have boys - if is had girls I'd be very happy to have them too.
Some individuals will have extreme gender preference issues, but it's sensationalising to suggest this is commonplace.

x2boys · 30/06/2014 12:07

Cannot stand this women andi think she comes out will all this nonsense in a desperate bid for fame but anyone who does desperatley want one sex over the other should consider whether they really want a child as they have a 50% chance of having either or a if she did say she is drinking and smoking because its just a boy than shouldn't social services be informed some parents don't know just how lucky they are to have a healthy child .

RumPunch · 30/06/2014 12:09

I'd have been devastated if I had a boy. I wanted a girl so badly. It's the reason I only have one. I can't risk the second being a boy. I have no idea why. I know plenty of people that felt the same about having girls though. We wouldn't have gone as far as this woman though.

squoosh · 30/06/2014 12:12

I'm sad to hear that RumPunch and without wanting to sound glib think you should look into why you have such feelings of horror at the idea of having a son. You owe it to any future grandsons to examine why you feel this way.