not to want my friend to change her ds's dirty nappy in my sitting room?

[bringbackfonzi]

I had a nice friend of mine over today with her ds, who's 2 and a half. When her ds needed a nappy change, she asked where she should change him and I suggested upstairs in the bathroom. But her ds didn't fancy that so she did it on the sitting room floor (on changing mat). I wouldn't have minded if it was just a wet nappy, but a dirty and really smelly one?! I'm afraid it really grossed me out and the smell lingered for ages. My own dc's dirty nappies don't bother me at all, but this did. AIBU and too fussy?

[LEMmingaround]

YABU but other children's nappies are rancid

[auntjane2]

As a rule of thumb, I think nappy changing should be done where other people go to the toilet, approximately speaking. Nappies mean airborne germs at least

[PetiteRaleuse]

Yabu. It's a toddler change. On a changing mat. It might vaguely annoy me, but not enough to get angry about.

But my changing mat is in the living room and with two toddlers you kind of get used to whiffy bums.

[PetiteRaleuse]

Should say there's no room in either my bathroom or loo to do it. If not in living room would have to be a bedroom. And that's not going to happen with visitors.

[NoodleOodle]

YANBU, bleurgh.

[PunkrockerGirl]

YANBU. This is a child, not a baby. I have no desire to see/smell it's shit in my front room. Why do people think the world revolves round their dc and that there's nothing we all like better than the sight/smell of their revolting nappies? Even worse are the parents who leave said nappy rolled up by kitchen bin for host to dispose of.

[Thumbwitch]

Just remembered something - my sister would happily change any of her 3 DDs in the living room, but she objected to me breastfeeding either of my DSs in there! She also wouldn't change either DS's nappy, because she "wasn't used to boy bits!"

[CheerfulYank]

Meh, it wouldn't bother me. I've always changed my DCs' diapers wherever in my own house.

But it was annoying that she didn't do what you asked so for that YANBU.

[RainbowsStars]

YANBU, she should have changed the nappy where you asked her to. I have changed nappies in the living room at home and at friend's houses but only when they have done the same and when I've had a proper changing mat to use.

[Bluegrass]

You could try rubbing her nose in it and saying "NO. DIRTY" in a firm voice until she's properly trained. She'll be much happier once she's learnt how to behave in public.

[Snog]

^^
yanbu, very rude

[indigo18]

My niece changed her DS at a family gathering with whole family sitting around. Her mother suggested she use the bathroom but she was too lazy to move from her seat. The rest of us had to put up with the stink of shit and the sight of her DS's shitty bum as her wriggled away from her (strapping 2 year old). My teenagers were horrified. All those of you who do this when you have company, be aware of what many of us think of you.(I know, you don't care, your precious child's shit is to be treasured etc but we still think it.)

[Only1scoop]

Uggghh vile

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

If I were the friend, I wouldn't do this because bathrooms/toilets are the place for this but I'm aghast at how some posters define fiendship. It's nothing of the sort quite frankly. When I read some of the posts on this thread I visualise controlling people who want Things.Done.Their.Way.Or.The.Highway.

When did things become like this? Something so very minor, temporary and let's face it - natural. Some people just love/live to have something to rail and complain about. Does anybody who feels this way have the wit to say something at the time if it's so bothersome, like - "Let me show you where the bathroom is", ignoring the toddler's wishes.

I am really amazed that anybody bothers to converse or be friendly with other people at all.

[LittlePeaPod]

indiigo If I am honest that's exactly what I think when people do this in public and at other peoples homes. I just think, you are really lazy and disrespectful. Unless there are no facilities what so ever.

I try hard not to put my judgey pants on but I can't help it with this particular subject. They are well and truly on.

[LittlePeaPod]

Lying yes I have told all my friends with kids that all changes are to be done in the bathroom. No exceptions.

[KoalaDownUnder]

Does anybody who feels this way have the wit to say something at the time if it's so bothersome, like - "Let me show you where the bathroom is", ignoring the toddler's wishes.

What if they know perfectly well where the bathroom is? Then what do you say, 'No, I insist you take him to the bathroom', thereby making a massive deal out of it and embarrassing your guest?

My friend used to change shitty nappies on her large, squirming 1.5-year-old (while he tried to escape, legs covered in poo) in my carpeted living room, in full view of the open bathroom door. The smell was sickening, and she never washed her hands afterwards.

Of course it's 'bothersome'; it stinks, and it's unhygienic. Poo is full of bacteria. 'Natural' has nothing to do with it. Adult poo is natural, as are periods, farts, and a whole load of other things that we deal with in the bathroom in someone else's home.

[Kikaninchen]

I struggle to understand how people's bathrooms are too small for a nappy change.
I've changed dd in tiny toilet cubicles loads of times - how much space do you need?
And what do you do if your child is toilet trained and has an accident if it is impossible to change them in the bathroom?

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Yes Koala, if it bothers somebody that much then they should do just that. Obviously it will cause discomfort and embarrassment to the 'guest' but if it's that annoying then you must.

I only have friends in my home and none of them have done this BUT, it's not something that would bend me out of shape if it did because they're friends. Shit stinks, true that.

[Passthecake30]

Omg. Yabu. ...I hate it, I hate it going in my bin too, but....with kids comes wee, poo, sick. ..

[Floggingmolly]

There is nothing "natural" about pooing in the middle of living areas. That's why the toilet is located in a separate room, Lying.

[LittlePeaPod]

What if they know perfectly well where the bathroom is? Then what do you say, 'No, I insist you take him to the bathroom', thereby making a massive deal out of it and embarrassing your guest?

Upsolutely. It's not making a big deal. It's reiterating what they already know. Plus, I would think they were totally lazy, rude and disrespectful if they knew where the toilet was and ignored my wishes. I respect other people's homes when I visit (with or without DD). I expect the same courtesy and if they don't then they should feel embarrassed..

[rainbowfeet]

Sorry as the mum of a 2 yr old I would not expect a good friend to mind me changing him in her living room... She used a changing mat.. Nappy in a bag & straight in outside bin.. Can't see the problem.. Yabu

[Bluetroublethree]

Rainbowfeet no one else wants to see your daughter's poo, or smell it. Your friends might not mention it but as you can see from most of the responses here, they'd mind. A lot.

[HouseBaelish]

The thing is, to all those on this thread who said "its just poo, I change nappies in my living room" - well that's fine, but that isn't the issue.

The issue is that the friend asked where to change a nappy, was advised the bathroom would be the best place and then chose to ignore the wishes of the OP to placate a two year old? So rude.