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AIBU?

not to want my friend to change her ds's dirty nappy in my sitting room?

211 replies

bringbackfonzi · 29/06/2014 23:15

I had a nice friend of mine over today with her ds, who's 2 and a half. When her ds needed a nappy change, she asked where she should change him and I suggested upstairs in the bathroom. But her ds didn't fancy that so she did it on the sitting room floor (on changing mat). I wouldn't have minded if it was just a wet nappy, but a dirty and really smelly one?! I'm afraid it really grossed me out and the smell lingered for ages. My own dc's dirty nappies don't bother me at all, but this did. AIBU and too fussy?

OP posts:

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Koothrapanties · 30/06/2014 10:35

Yanbu! She asked, you told her, she ignored you. Very rude!

Dd is a baby still but is on solids and her poo is stinky! I always ask where is best and respect the hosts wishes.

RiverTam · 30/06/2014 10:38

YANBU on 2 counts - one, because yes, toddler poo is grim and two, because you asked her to go upstairs and she ignored you!

Bluebelljumpsoverthemoon · 30/06/2014 10:39

Yanbu, a 'friend' once changed her two year olds shitty nappy on my kitchen table without warning, I was so shocked and exhausted with a newborn that I didn't respond to it. I had to keep the kitchen door open for several hours to get the stink out. In the middle of winter, ffs.

Some people are just so rude. It's irrelevant whether some people love the smell of toddler shit and are happy to have it all over their homes, filthy bastards still need to respect that while they can do what they like in their own homes, they need to respect other peoples.

If you're going to allow her in the house again you need to be blunt and tell her that any nappy changes are to be done in the bathroom only, if she refuses to respect that, she's unwelcome.

WanderingTrolley1 · 30/06/2014 10:39

Also, if she changed shitty nappy in lounge, did she go to the bathroom to wash her hands afterwards??

MaryBennett · 30/06/2014 10:48

Friends and I out for lunch in city. Went into cafe/restaurant to find child having nappy changed on a table.

Left restaurant. Fast.

YANBU OP. and I think you need to lightheartedly steer her to bathroom next time. Talk to the toddler in a kind and positive way. "In my house we like to be private and anyway mummy needs water to wash her hands too". Good luck.

hazeyjane · 30/06/2014 10:51

Why would you not wash your hands if you change a nappy in a room other than the bathroom?! If I change ds in the lounge or in his room, of course I go and wash my hands afterwards.

LittlePeaPod · 30/06/2014 10:56

HazyJane surely if she had to get up and go wash her hands in the bathroom then she may as well have done it all in the bathroom..

Op please tell me she washed her hands after?

hazeyjane · 30/06/2014 11:01

I don't know about the op's friend, but in my case it is a lot easier for me to go to the bathroom or kitchen after and wash my hands than have to get ds upstairs into our tiny bathroom to change him.

As I say I think the op's friend was unreasonable, because she was asked to use the bathroom. I would always ask at someone else's house and use the room I was directed to.

But I think all the poster's throwing their hands up in horror at the very thought of a nappy being changed in any room other than the toilet/bathroom are a little over the top.

notaflamingclue · 30/06/2014 11:01

I don't even change my own DD's nappy in my living room, so I'd have been a bit pissed off yes. YANBU in my opinion.

fairnotfair · 30/06/2014 11:05

Toddler shit is still shit. It doesn't exude sea breezes and rainbows just because it's been produced by a small child.

YANBU

LittlePeaPod · 30/06/2014 11:05

hazyjane I don't think they are throwing their hands up about a child been changed in any room other than the bathroom or child's room. She can do that in her own home if she so pleases, but to do it in someone else's house is very rude. It shows a certain level of disrespect for the Op and the Ops home.

DontGrumbleGiveAWhistle · 30/06/2014 11:20

ragwort my sis changed her 5 month old's dirty nappy in front of us at a meal - we were all . It's disgusting

DontGrumbleGiveAWhistle · 30/06/2014 11:21

Just to clarify - we were out at a restaurant in a hot country. She put the child on her lap at the table and changed it while we were eating pizza!!!!

hazeyjane · 30/06/2014 11:28

Peapod, there are plenty posts like this

I just cannot understand why people feel it is ok to do this in their own home, never mind someone else's. I am astounded that some people think this is ok

bringbackfonzi · 30/06/2014 11:32

She didn't wash her hands.

OP posts:

Thumbwitch · 30/06/2014 11:35

Bleurgh.

DontGrumbleGiveAWhistle · 30/06/2014 11:45

Yuck at not hand washing.

hazeyjane · 30/06/2014 11:47

Well yes, that is gross.

DontGrumbleGiveAWhistle · 30/06/2014 11:53

MaryBennet Wish I could have left the restaurant.

Florin · 30/06/2014 11:57

If she didn't wash her hands I would have very bluntly asked her to. Now you have poo germs round your house where she has touched door handles etc.
My husband regularly sees men in his office not wash their hands after going to the loo then often meets them shortly after for a meeting and they go to shake his hand and he will always refuse and tell them why. Not washing hands after going to the loo/changing nappies is disgusting.

DizzyKipper · 30/06/2014 12:04

Considering you've said you have children who have nappies I find it a bit weird that you'd insist on her changing her child in the bathroom unless this is also where you do all of your own children's nappy changes. But since she asked where to change him I do think she should have respected your answer, why ask if you're not going to? So on balance I guess it was more her being unreasonable. Though I have to say the few times I've had a friend with a toddler over who's needed a nappy changed I was never asked where it should be done and it never crossed my mind that I should get upset at them getting on with it and doing it right there infront of me in the living room.

DizzyKipper · 30/06/2014 12:05

That being said I'm a care worker so deal with adult poo as well as my DD's, so perhaps I'm just more desensitised to it.

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WanderingTrolley1 · 30/06/2014 12:15

I somehow had a feeling she wouldn't have bothered her arse going to wash her hands!

Filthy as well as rude.

grumpasaur · 30/06/2014 12:19

YADDDNNNBU!!!

I hate this!!! We have friends who came around with their 11 month old to visit us IN OUR NEW HOUSE! Not only did the mum change him on our dining room floor WITH NO MAT, she just rolled up the nappy and LEFT IT IN THE CORNER!! I picked it up, tied it in a plastic bag, and put it in our bin. The whole room smelled until I took said bin outside. And she didn't wash her hands!!!

The worst thing? The loo is right off the dining room- less than three feet from where she was.

PurplePidjin · 30/06/2014 12:24

YANBU, she asked and then ignored you!

Surely at 2.5 it's helpful to the child to be taught that poo and wee go in the toilet, even if they're not ready to potty train?

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