not to want my friend to change her ds's dirty nappy in my sitting room?

[bringbackfonzi]

I had a nice friend of mine over today with her ds, who's 2 and a half. When her ds needed a nappy change, she asked where she should change him and I suggested upstairs in the bathroom. But her ds didn't fancy that so she did it on the sitting room floor (on changing mat). I wouldn't have minded if it was just a wet nappy, but a dirty and really smelly one?! I'm afraid it really grossed me out and the smell lingered for ages. My own dc's dirty nappies don't bother me at all, but this did. AIBU and too fussy?

[Batmansbuttocks]

Doesn't bother me in the slightest. I would have said to my friend - just do it there.

[GobblersKnob]

Tiny baby wouldn't have batted an eyelid, but a toddler? I would have been seriously pissed off.

[SybilRamkin]

Yuck, YANBU! Your friend was being rude after asking where to change and then ignoring your wishes.

[MrsMcColl]

YANBU. Yuk. I had a friend at my house once who changed her toddler's nappy right there in the sitting room, without asking where would be a good place to do it. I went to the kitchen to make more tea, so I didn't have to see/smell (and so she couldn't see my 'I really mind this' face.)

When she'd gone, I realised she'd put the pooey nappy in the kitchen bin. And then I found a little turd on the rug. Oh just yuk forever.

[KeepOnPloddingOn]

Can't say I would care. However , you said where and she ignored. That's rude.

[FergusSingsTheBlues]

It's disgusting and there s no excuse if said child is small enough to be dragged upstairs. Is he PFB?

[JoeyMaynardsghost]

My x-SIL asked me where she should change her DS and I told her where, and she decided to change him on my bed as it was more comfy for him!

She didn't tell me until afterwards but only because she had to as there was shit on the duvet cover. I was so furious!

[Kikaninchen]

I am astounded that people think this is OK. Especially when she asked and you told her to use the bathroom.

In my book, if there is wee or poo involved and you can access a bathroom, you should always do so, and that goes for toddlers too.

Give it a few months and she'll doubtless be whipping out potties in the middle of your living room too, and carrying their steaming contents through your house to the bathroom.

[Happydaysatlast]

After 4 kids, childminding and now working in reception class with 30 kids not all in full control of bowels or bladder it probably wouldn't have bothered me if she used a mat etc.

However she asked and you told her upstairs so to not go was rude. Her issue really is her toddler doing as he is told really.

And come on people!! Nappy smell after 8hours get a bloody grip here.

[QuintessentiallyQS]

Casmama' sums it up "toddler shit does stink and she shouldn't have asked you then allowed her toddler to overrule you - 2 1/2 is NOT a baby."


At 2 1/2 the child needs to learn that poo is not for the sitting room, and that the bathroom/toilet is an appropriate place.

Your friend was rude to let her toddler decide and overrule you.

[fluffyraggies]

YANBU

One of my SILs (DHs sister) seems to think that her DCs toileting is a spectator sort at family gatherings

Nappy changing on the floor in front of everyone. Later on putting the potty in the middle of the living room in front of the tv while they have a poo! Ye Gods.

Other SIL and i take our DCs away upstairs for nappies and potty time. As it should be.

[LittlePeaPod]

JoeyMaynardsghost at your SIL.

[Happydaysatlast]

Oh no it's definatly not a spectator sport for a family gathering. That's wierd.

Also changing without a mat or towel under any kid is yeuk.

[ConferencePear]

I've had the spectator sport syndrome too. The worst one came close to showing us the nappy so we could admire its contents. Yuk.

[diddl]

YANBU because she asked & ignored & did what her son wanted??!!

Wtaf is that all about?

[pluCaChange]

She bloody ASKED. I suppose she was hoping for permission to do it then and there, but you didn't give permission!

I'm also appalled by all the people who havetold you you're precious. Let them have the smell, then! Ugh.

Mind you, although it's appalling, it's sadly not unheard of. MIL always tells me to do nappies on her (and FIL's) bed, and when it's a poo, I ignore her and creep into the spare room (which is a bit of a lumber room) instead. She has been known to "tell me off" in a hospitable sort of way IYSWIM (she's convinced that DD will catch double pneumonia from a tiny bit of exposure to 18C), but I just can't do it.

[MrsWinnibago]

YANBU. A do feel there's a difference between a little baby in arms and a toddler on solids!

My friend's son was in nappies till he was 4 due to some issues and she used to change him in front of anyone and everyone....I felt that more than his nappies being stinky, the issue was his privacy!

At 4 he should have been changed privately. I couldn't ever work up the courage to say something about it but everytime she laid him down and changed him in front of everyone present I thought God...please give him some dignity! He's speaking and reading FFS ...his toile habits are his own and should be private!

It was odd because she's educated, bright and kind...I just think she had a blind spot.

[hazeyjane]

I agree that toddler poo is rank. A friend changed her 3 year olds nappy in my living room and I was nearly sick. Even after opening windows, spraying air freshener etc DP walked in from work 8 hours later and could still smell it

Really?! Ds often has his nappy changed in the lounge, I open the window, light a scented candle, I'm pretty sure our house doesn't stink of poo. Or maybe we have just become immune to it!

I think if you asked your friend to use the bathroom it was unreasonable of her not to. But I personally I wouldn't have minded where they changed it (but then my house is obviously the house that smells of poop anyway!!)

[bringbackfonzi]

Yes, I feel like my friend has a blind spot too - she's very nice and considerate and has a very neat, clean house (much more than mine). To be fair the changing mat was in the sitting room because I change my baby's nappies downstairs sometimes - but my baby is 3 months old. And I didn't change my baby's pooey nappy in front of her, so it wasn't like there was a precedent...

[TaurielTest]

I think the people who've mentioned blind spots and desensitization have got it right. When you're changing your child's dirty nappies day in day out, maybe your sense of what's appropriate gets a bit dulled, and you lose perspective about how unpleasant it actually is to inflict the smell and sight of it on others if you don't absolutely have to.

If she didn't go to the bathroom as OP asked, I guess she didn't wash her hands either

Nope, YWDNBU.

[Florin]

All babies should be changed either in the bathroom or on a mat in babies room if changing stuff in there. I never change my toddler anywhere else but at his changing station in his room and if we go to other peoples houses I always insist on going to the bathroom to change him. Both because of the smell but also because for my ds's privacy. I also either take dirty nappies home with me unless it is someone with a baby and then I will put it in their nappy bin, I never put nappies in someone's kitchen bin. I honestly do not see how anyone can say it is acceptable to change them in the middle of the sitting room it is disgusting. I have a couple of friends with slightly younger babies who I try to direct upstairs but still often do it downstairs or even in a pub garden which really annoys me, it is rude and lazy.

[Purplehonesty]

Yuck. Bathroom is for changing nappies at someone else's house or wherever they change their own dc and direct you to.
Not the lounge! Ok for small baby, not for stinky toddler poo.

[maninawomansworld]

YANBU - you told her where in your house she could change and she ignored you.
When it became apparent she intended to do it on the floor I would have said 'oh sorry, you must have misheard me,do you mind doing it in the bathroom?'
You need to be more assertive in your own home.

[Needaninsight]

YANBU. I have a 20month old and a newborn..and I wouldnt dream of changing either nappy in somone elses lounge. No manners!

[Ragwort]

YANBU - and I can't believe all the people who say it's OK. I never even changed my own baby in our living room, there is absolutely no need to do this (unless you live in a bed sit) and it is very rude of your friend to ignore your request.

Some parents have no sensitivity to other people, the world does not revolve around their child - someone changed a baby in full view in a cafe I was in the other day - gross.

If that makes me 'precious' - good