To think party mum should have checked before giving out inappropriate prizes

[SoonToBeSix]

Genuinely don't know if I am being unreasonable. I was at a birthday party today with three year old ds and he won musical bumps. He was swiftly handed a packet of haribo . I tried to encourage him to " save" them for later ie I would put them in by bag and through them away but he was so upset I let him have them.
I do not give my dc sweets ever with the exception of a small amount of chocolate at Easter from well meaning relatives. Most eggs get given away.
I really feel she should have checked first before handing them out.

I opened this thread hoping to hear about a really inappropriate prize for a kids party.
Haribo? WTFH is wrong with that? He's 3, not 6 months.

It's a party.

I have two kids aged 5 and 7 but they have been attending parties since the age of 1.
I think little packets of Haribo have featured in 90% of all of those parties.
OP, find something else to worry about and cop onto yourself.

Kim three of dc are younger than my ds. Out of the two older ones one has a disability which meant they didn't go to parties and my teenager I don't remember it being an issue . As far as I remember sweets weren't given out as prizes just in party bags( so I took them out) but even then the party bags didn't contain sweets for a three year olds party just a piece of cake and a ballon , plastic toys etc.

I accept I am being unreasonable but I am shocked I obviously knew three year old were given sweets but I thought only by the kind of parents that would give their dc coke in a bottle.

Sorry, out all day so only catching up now.

My point about the alcohol was to show that there isn't some magic window at age 3 that means all food/drink must have been tasted by to prevent binging in later life. Not giving sweets at age 3 does not mean your child will have food issues. Yes, if you banned sweet things completely for their entire childhood then they may rebel when they can. The OP has not done this with her children.

You're DC2 never went to a party? That's so sad.

SoonToBeSix - you aren't being unreasonable. You are perfectly entitled to parent your child differently. Just because some mums are happy to give their children sugary crap at the earliest opportunity (and try to excuse it by saying it encourages healthy attitudes to food ) doesn't mean that you have to. There are a few of us on the thread who agree with you and wouldn't give haribo to a 3 yo.

Op....

I think they're are many parents on here who give a few little party sweets out now and then.... Bottles of coke....not so much.

How many people would defend the giving of fizz on the grounds that it's a treat at a party though? More than expected I'd wager.

I don't know why any parent is being criticised for making different food choices for their children. Unless of course those parents who are ok with sweets see it as an implied criticism of themselves? Needlessly I'd imagine too, as although I don't like giving sweets, I don't notice or care if others do.

Katie my dc2 has autism they didn't want to go to a party much as I would have loved them too.

Thanks for understanding bumbley mummy and for actually taking the time to read my posts about my older dd.

Please just turn down party invitations for your children in future. I don't want to have to be the one to have to ostracise your child.

Oh dear god. Giving a pack of haribo is akin to giving babies coke in their bottle. What self righteous cuntery.

Loving this thread. Has cheered me right up.
Mumsnet at its finest!!

bumbley - that is exactly what the OP has done (banned sweets from her children's whole childhoods). She said so downthread

Hi six. Sorry that DC2s ASD means they find parties scary. Could you maybe do a few games at the next family birthday to show what it can be like? Obviously you don't want to push your child into a situation where they would be uncomfortable.

I find it a hoot that giving a small packet of sweets at a party makes you into a parent who gives a bottle of coke!
This is what causes the problem- not being able to get a sense of proportion.

The rice cakes and dried fruit did seem like prison rations! That is why the parents couldn't be offered anything because it would have been more desirable to the child.
You need to aim for self discipline over food, and for the child to realise that parties are special but that you don't need to go mad stuffing yourself.
I find that children who have everything in moderation are not much bothered and more interested in playing- those strictly controlled are the ones too obsessed with the food to play.

I actually agree with you , I hate sweets and my ds just turned 3 hasn't had them ever. He does however have chocolate.

Chocolate is a sweet!

A sweet is mostly sugar and colourings/flavourings. Chocolate is mostly cocoa, sugar and fat. They are very different.

I much preferred my DDs to have chocolate than sweetes when they were little.

It will keep me smiling all day that I was a parent likely to give my child coke in a bottle'. Something of a MN classic.

I preferred chocolate when small ,but not to the extent of worrying about a small packets of sweets at a party. They don't have to eat them all at once. Have a few and put away for later.

If you didn't want your ds to have them, I don't understand why you didn't simply take the sweets from him and firmly say you were saving them, for later? I don't see an issue.

And as other people have mentioned, raisins are not the healthy option to sweets if you want to keep sugar intake down.

I'd also be careful about banning sweets. Sometimes bans can cause the opposite to the desired effect. I know one mum who didn't like her children to have any sweets. She was called into school when her (otherwise lovely) dd began mugging other children for sweets at lunchtime. She was only 5 and didn't understand why everyone else could have them and she couldn't.