to move the cat?

[EatDessertFirst]

My lovely ten-year old moggy is lying on my bed very comfortably for him between my feet. I can't move without being subject to a death stare and maybe some feline violence.

Should I just suck it up and sleep funny or shall I brave the wrath it could incur?

You must remain in place.

Suck it up. Comfy cat, tough for you.
Or pour some biscuits in his bowl... See if he shifts then.
Or, go for a pee. Mine always come and watch me dirty pervs
Or, sleep on the sofa.

But do not move the cat. It will end spiky...

Yabu, know your place human.

You may move, of course you may. Move to the sofa and leave Prince Puss to the double bed. Quickly now, serf. his Highness is waiting to get back to sleep.

DON'T YOU DARE!!!!!!

I cannot believe you are even asking this.
Yabvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvu

you are lucky that your master is gracious enough to allow you a place on his bed.

. You are massively entited.

Never move the cat, ever. 'Tis universal cat law.

You know you can't move the cat.

In our house we will move each other, either of the dogs or the young cat, but nobody would even dream of trying to move the old cat.

He rules the roost with an iron paw.

Giggling at the replies (obviously in a displeasing tone!) earned me a glare and a claw flex on my foot. He clearly isn't budging.

YWBVU to move the cat.

But you know this deep down.

You need to remain in situ to provide warmth. Not move so as not to disturb the almighty Puss.
Optional: Sprinkling of catnip on the bed

why are you on the bed in the first place get on the floor

The thought of moving the cat would never even cross my mind. We sleep round the cat all the time.

Do not get on the floor. The cat needs warmth/a soft surface to lean on.
Stay on the bed but in the least comfortable position possible. You have served your purpose!

You always find a box for him to try out. Any box I leave lying around always ends up with a cat in it... the last box was quite small but the cat had to check it anyway and wedged himself in.

My cat is lying on the Argos catalogue, open at the nerf gun page. Is this a plot to stop DS1 getting one for his birthday?

What always works with our cat is if you put an object she has never seen before on the floor. She can't help herself, she has to go and lie on top of it, no matter the shape or size.

Maybe you could entice the cat off the bed using this technique?

You KNOW the answer to this. YABU. It is for you to move heaven & earth in order to enhance the physical and emotional well being of the mog. You have no other useful purpose.

You're welcome

I am in bed with tiny kitten watching every word I type and trying to kill my typing finger...whilst sitting on my other arm.
He is king of the world

Of course you can't move the cat, don't be silly. He has the total complete inborn right of way as far as beds, covers, furniture floor space go.

What always works with our cat is if you put an object she has never seen before on the floor
...
Maybe you could entice the cat off the bed using this technique?

The trouble with this is that to do that OP would first have to move, and since moving would disturb the cat it can't be allowed. Sorry but I really do think OP has to sit there, to the end of eternity if necessary or when the cat decides to move.

Put an important piece of paper somewhere. They love sitting on them.

Just push him away, ours don't dare try and sleep on my bed when I'm in it.

My jrt does this it does not matter what I do he will. Not. Move. I have to sleep with him between my legs and if I fidget he grumbles (not growls -more of a woe is me type groan)

I had a cat and a flat with a very cold concrete floor. I bought a hot water bottle to warm my feet in bed days before I met DH.

My cat was very pleased I had added this luxury for her on her bed.

Sleeping arrangement. Hot water bottle under duvet. Cat on top of lovely toasty duvet. My feet dangling off the side of bed.