to think that anyone who visits my house should expect my 2yo to want to play with them?

[ithoughtofitfirst]

Cut a really fucking irritating long story short.

A couple of nights ago my brother and his boyfriend descend on me expecting feeding. They both snapped at my ds that they were too tired to play with him on arrival, sat down and played on their ipads. Neither talking to me nor playing with my son. Who was visibly hurt that his uncles didn't want to play cars with him. One of them was playing music through their Ipad too so cbeebies was drowned out. So there I am cooking for 5 people and have a sad little 2 year old moping around. When I left the room at one point I even heard one of them complain about feeling 'hen pecked'.

Aibu to think I should have told them both to leave?

(might be worth mentioning too that I have never asked them to babysit in the two years ive had him)

Days later still fuming and have the image of my poor little boy sitting in the hall calling their names.

YANBU at all.
a) Very rude to expect someone to cook for them and then not only not help but totally ignore the chef
b) If you go to a house with a kid in it, you must expect to interact with the kid at least a little bit. If it's a rellie kid, even more so.

I'd have a word, if I were you.

I know curious I must have had mug written on my forehead on thursday evening!!

PurplePidjin has hit the nail right on the head - these people have come into a person's home and completely ignored them - on what planet is that polite or acceptable behaviour? And why does a two-year-old deserve less polite treatment in their own home?

I wouldn't have fed either of them. I'd have chucked them out. Bloody rude people. Who wouldn't want to play with an adorable little two year old when they're visiting? Oh, hang on, they weren't visiting as they weren't invited, they just dropped by to abuse your hospitality. Fuck them and the horse they rode in on.

Purple that's what I think- you wouldn't ignore another adult at someone's house, so why a child?

I just don't get this -all children are a pain/dull/uninteresting/annoying. I really enjoy most children's company, especially if it is only for a short while and I'm not in charge. I certainly can think of a few more boring adults. Am I odd then?

Tight bastards. They wouldn't be welcome in my house if I were you

Rude all round, the pair of them. I wouldn't be happy about a lot of things.

If they came to see you, why then ignore you all. Also, why disturb you and stop your son watching TV. And to EXPECT to be fed. And on top of that to snap at your DS.

I wouldn't have been cooking for them, that's for sure.

If I go to a friend's house and they have children I want to hear about their homework, their friends at school, what they had for tea three weeks ago - I do think some adults can go over the top regarding being 'interested' in other people's children.

I met up with my old school friend the other day (we are both in our 50s ) - her mother was there (80+) and she bombarded me with questions about my life - she was just so intense in asking me all about myself - I wished she had just shut up . The next time we met up my mother was there and she was just as bad .

Why aren't you saying any of this to your db?

If it's still bothering you now then it's obviously something that you need to get off your chest!

I'd text him telling him how rude he was and telling him not to rock up at mealtimes with a bad attitude in future. Seriously why aren't you saying anything to him?

I think some people have heard you should show an interest and ask questions about the person to engage with them, but take this way too far. I have found a lot of kids don't like being asked questions at all. But I do think kids like you to take an interest in them.

About the op I do think it would be o.k to say you are too tired for a big play but you would like to watch him play or something, but not nice to snap at him.

Why a 30 year old man needs reminding of his manners, I dunno. It's quite common to "not stand on ceremony" with family but to upset a little child like that in his own home is inexcusable.

OP: please tell them they're not welcome back unless they've learned how to behave decently. No more dropping in at the ithoughtofitfirst free cafe without an invitation and some basic manners. Get it off your chest, you'll feel much better.

I'm really quite cross with them and I obviously wasn't even there. The bloody nerve!

My husband is an uncle. He has zero interest in his nephews and nieces. He loves DD, but is not in least bit interested in other people's children.

I visit people occasionally who have a family member with whom I may not particularly enjoy interacting. However, if I am in that person's home I will make the effort to be polite and show an interest in them. That is basic good manners. I see no reason why this changes if that person is two years old.

If you don't want to play with or talk to a child, don't visit their house during waking hours and most certainly don't sit on your arse while the person who would normally be interacting with them is cooking your meal and complain because the child wants to talk to or play with you.

It doesn't matter a jot whether you are interested in them or not. Everyone, regardless of their age is entitled to be treated with respect and consideration, especially in their own home.

I had my friends 3 year old for the day yesterday as my friend was in labour.

She sang ALL the wrong words to songs, did some truly stunning dancing, ate all my Kinder bars and asked 'is the new baby going to be black?' a HUNDRED times (both parents white so don't know where that came from).

Not the most interesting day of my life and it was tiring after already being up all night but it WAS fun and I'd consider myself a right knob if I'd have ignored her. You don't ignore little kids no matter how tired or disinterested you really are.

I wish I had the guts to confront him. He is the most unpleasant person to 'have it out' with. Speaking from experience.

I am so pissed off though. I even asked my dad if i should have a word and I looked at me in that boy I'm glad I'm not you right now kind of way. Ergh.

I just don't get this -all children are a pain/dull/uninteresting/annoying.

Well, they are. But if you don't want to be around them, invite your friend out without the kid. If you're at their house, you can at least say hi and acknowledge them. I wouldn't expect anyone to get on the floor and play cars with DD, but I'd expect them to at least say hi and maybe "no thank you sweetie, why don't you do X" Not snap at her and tell her they weren't in the mood.

But more importantly, he is his uncle this isn't just some random stranger popping by. I would expect my brother to be friendly and foster a relationship with DD when he came over. He's family and an important part of her life. Not just one of "mom's friends" you vaguely know or care about.

You don't have to "have it out with him" but you really should let him know how you feel about his behaviour. He was rude by turning up uninvited expecting to be fed and then not even pretending to be polite by not talking to you. He upset your little boy for no good reason other than he couldn't be arsed to make the tiniest bit of an effort.

If you invite yourself to someone's house for food then you are a guest and behave like a guest. That doesn't necessarily mean playing for hours with a toddler, but you should play with him for some of the time and offer to help your host. Sitting playing with your gizmos is for teenagers and if I visited somewhere with my teenagers they'd be told not to play loud music and help or be nice to the small sprog not just sit in their own world. If they didn't want to interact with you and your family they should have eaten out. Their choice.

^what Goldmandra said. I agree with you but you need to think of how to tell your brother if it happens again. Visit me, visit my family. BUT. If they act like a douche don't seethe tell them!

If you come to some one's house it's rude to not at least acknowledge the other family members living there. I think this applies to all sexes and ages - if a grandmother was living in the house, there in the living room, you'd be expected to greet her and possibly make small talk at least for a little while. I don't see why children - just on account of being children - aren't deserving of the same basic civility. No I don't expect any guest to be an unpaid child entertainer when coming over, but I do expect a certain level of manners towards my child, which would include answering them if they talked to you. Anyone who felt my child was beneath their conversation and that it was fine for them to completely blank my child when my child tried interacting with them wouldn't be welcome.

I wish I had the guts to confront him. He is the most unpleasant person to 'have it out' with. Speaking from experience.

Sorry, Why are you allowing this person into your home?
If someone came into my home and acted like that, I'd speak to them at the time and if they didn't accept that, then it would be made clear to them they weren't welcome in my home.

Yanbu I wouldent have them back again, they sound rude and entitled.

I think if you are cooking for them, it's nice they interact a little with your DC

No one should be expected to play with a child..

The issue here was how rude they were generally.

YABU. I never understand why parents think everyone else should find their children fascinating. My husband likes children; I don't. I find small children extremely tedious.