To think compulsive over eating is a mental health illness *warning may be sensitive*

[OhFFSWhatsWrongNow]

"All you have to do to lose weight is to eat healthier and exercise more"

Oh really? I had no idea. So all the over eating I have been doing for the last 22 years to comfort me through a very rough childhood can be cured just like that? Wow, thanks, that's very helpful, all my problems are solved then.

No! I'm sorry but this is an extremely ignorant view. Would you say to an anorexic "just eat more food. You'll be fine in no time"? I sincerely hope you wouldn't. So why would you challenge an over eater as to why they don't eat less food?

Don't get me wrong, I understand people must take responsibility for themselves. I'm not denying that. But for people who have had traumatic upbringings or events in their lives and turn to food for comfort, it can feel like they have lost all control over their eating. This is how I feel, and yes, I need help. It's not so easy to ask for it. Being obese is shameful enough without going to someone and admitting it. From the outside looking in, it doesn't seen so bad. But when you're the one asking, it can seem truly daunting, so many people just don't ask for it.

I want to talk about a taboo subject here, and debunk a myth that states all fat people are just lazy slobs who have no self control and just like to eat all day. This is not only judgemental and a disgusting way to think, it's also completely ridiculous. Many larger people have active lives, many of us take part in sports and have normal active lives. Just because we are over weight doesn't mean we lie around all day stuffing our faces. I have 6 children, do you think I have time to sit my arse on my couch all day? And no, my children are not overweight, for those wondering.

The self control issue, however may be correct. Because when you eat until you are so very unhealthy, you have lost control haven't you? If I could just stop over eating I would. Why the hell would I (or anyone) eat so much that they got dangerously overweight on purpose? I don't enjoy it, and don't know many people who do. I'm not saying it's an excuse to be fat, or makes it ok.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that compulsive over eaters have a problem, just like people who starve themselves, or people who have depression(which I also have) and deserve help, sympathy and respect, and not ridicule and being made fun of.

So to all my school bullies, and those "friends" and family members and even judgemental people who think obese people are too lazy to do anything about their weight, trust me, you are just making a mental health problem worse. Unless you have struggled with this problem you will never understand.

SLEEPWHENIDIE I am not offended by your question:

I just don't consider my diet self-abuse, I know I have made poor choices in the past which allowed me to reach 19 stone but at the time I just didn't care. Sure, I wished I had a magic wand that would make me thin and healthy but whilst they were working on that invention I just wasn't bothered enough to make the right choices. Then one day I decided that for my health I needed to make better choices.

Now I am still overweight but have improved my health and appearance but still want to do more. I don't feel any change in my life frankly, and my self esteem is not changed either. In fact apart from people constantly commenting on the weight loss I just don't feel any different. In some ways I am a little less happy now than I was before because food has become a battleground for me, constantly having to think about what I am eating rather than before when I happily ate whatever I fancied.

I don't claim that I was happy to be fat, that is pushing it, but I wasn't miserable, it just wasn't something that I gave much thought to. I liked one poster who called it a "lifestyle choice" I suppose that was it for me, I knew what I was doing and just did it anyway because eating what I liked was what I wanted to do. Now though trying to get to a healthy weight is my choice instead.

I'm sorry Ican -I genuinely was trying to urge people to look for therapy centres etc like the ones I mentioned - I'm sorry your GP sounds hopeless, your post came and the thread got derailed. It sounds like you are doing brilliantly - what was it that 'flicked the switch' for you when you said 'enough'? It also sounds like your approach would fit right in with the one on the Eating Better threads - they aren't about dieting or depriving yourself, but being more mindful, making conscious choices and really enjoying food, also about changes most of us can make in terms of self-care. Have a read through and see what you think - come and join us if you like what you read

The probably hopeless belief that one day, somewhere, one person on this planet will think that I am beautiful or be a really good liar

Seriously it was dumping my husband who, though a lovely guy was actually a bit of a shit to me really, mind you so have all the other men I have come into contact with.

I suppose a mixture of those things, the realisation that I would rather be alone than be with someone who was with me 'despite my looks' and told me so.

Sticky - come and look at Eating Better too - hopefully it will help make food less of a battleground. It does still take some thinking about of course, especially in the beginning but after a while its not such an effort. Often, taking away the good/bad labels and giving yourself permission to eat whatever you want, without any guilt, removes the urge to overeat it (though some adjustment for the effect of a high sugar diet must be made too ).

For anyone binge-eating, I'd suggest reading 'The Secret of Our Compulsions' by Mary O'Malley. Its about the author's own experience of overcoming binge eating, she takes a very gentle and curious approach to it - it does labour the points a little but it can help you see bingeing in a completely different way. Rather than fighting the urge to binge, slowing down and trying to examine what emotions and thoughts are being suppressed (not easy, takes practice). Also not feeling guilt/self-flagellation afterwards but trying to see each binge as a lesson/insight into what is really behind it. It won't of course help you instantly resolve what is really behind it, but being able to identify triggers and thought processes, especially negative ones, can be a big step towards reframing/changing behaviours and thought patterns.

Oh - I thought you had dumped the DH and then you mentioned DH calling your meals 'boring' so I figured he was still there .

I have to run now, but back later.

Apologies, 'the Gift of our Compulsions'

Many NHS eating disorders teams accept patients with binge eating disorders but the fact is that they're don't have the capacity to deal with everyone. So, they prioritise those who are at immediate risk; those at very low weight, those vomiting to the point of needing medical attention and trying to prevent ED unit admissions. Until we start recognising that eating disorders are on the rise and thus, need specialist treatment, we won't get anywhere.

Well he is still around, he is my childrens father! He doesn't live with me anymore though. In fact I think I have 3 days without him now, which is awesome.

Ah, now I understand Ican - sounds like you made an excellent decision .

I've found this blog quite interesting
wholehealthsource.blogspot.co.uk/

If you have a compulsion the thing or behavior with is the subject of the compulsion is very significant to you, the thought of giving it up or doing without it can seem unimaginable.

I read the chemical carousel a while ago

the author discusses cravings, how desire is stronger than pleasure...the feeling of craving for something is more powerful and compelling than the pleasure of having it.

my understanding is that as you get fatter there are biochemical changes which increase the drive to eat, so the more fat you have the stronger the craving for food.
A positive feedback loop is created which causes the situation to snowball.

Whilst it is true that 'you just need to eat less and move more' I think that those of us who don't have that compulsion are not able to appreciate just how difficult it is for a compulsive eater to 'just eat less'

I don't doubt the validity of sugar addictions and compulsive eating, but it does to an extent abdicate responsibility.

Like all addictions, it can be mastered.

I wasnt seeking to exonerate.

Yes in theory an addiction can be overcome, but overcomming addiction appears to be just too much for some people to cope with.
yes it is their fault, they ought not to have let things spiral so far out of control, but...

I don't think it is their fault.

I do think that an addiction is something that lies within the person. Therefore, while help is welcomed, the only one who can stop it is the person: repeatedly saying it is an addiction and addictive is correct, technically, but removes any sort of responsibility for dealing with this addiction.

If you want to lose weight, you have to accept that you can and if you do not it is a choice. Yes, I fully accept that it is a difficult, seemingly impossible, choice, but it's a choice nonetheless.

Sleep: You state that you are willing and able to help compulsive eaters/binge eaters. Binge/compulsive eating, rather than simple (over)indulgence or emotional eating (which virtually all people do to some extent), is a mental health issue, and you have insufficient qualifications or experience to help people suffering from it.

I see you have also openly offered your professional services on the Better Eating thread (also linking to your business website). MN boards are for peer support, not for touting your business to potentially vulnerable people looking for help. Admittedly, professional advice is often welcomed on some threads, but, IMO, and in all due respect, your professional knowledge is of unknown quantity/quality.

qualifications "AND" experience, rather.

I guess calling it a mental health problem (as per the thread title) or an addiction gives it the status of an illness against which the sufferer is powerless.
Of course these are all constructed categories of things, the criteria for addiction, or mental illness are not absolute and will vary according to who is doing the categorizing and for what purposes.

Alcoholism and drug addiction are mental heath problems, as well. No addict is "powerless", but few can "cure" themselves without professional help.

BED, same as Anorexia and Bulimia, should only be treated by professionals.

Anorexia is treated by forcing the sufferer to eat, in its extreme cases.

When it isn't extreme, and the sufferer has help from professionals, it is usually because the sufferer has approached them herself (I am using a female pronoun but it can apply to either gender, of course.)

If she is at the point where she has sought help, she wants to stop her behaviour and do something about it. It does come down to that, and I'm not sure few addicts can stop without help from professionals - anecdotally, I know many who just stopped.

Yes, that's why I said that not everyone needs professional help. Many more do, and there is no shame in that. Or is there?

"It does come down to that, and I'm not sure few addicts can stop without help from professionals - anecdotally, I know many who just stopped."

These people may stop the behaviour but very few will resolve the underlying problem. These things have a habit of cropping their heads up in other ways. Been there, done that and got the t-shirt. Anecdote is all very nice but rarely is unbiased and useful.

I don't think there's any shame in that at all :) but I do think that to assume addiction is so dangerous and powerful that none can come through it without professional help and without it "coming out in other ways" (see above) is unhelpful - it makes it, in a sense, darker than it is.

I am sure we'd all agree nicotine is addictive, yet many people do stop smoking like that - they stop. If someone needs professional support to stop, not a problem, but not everyone will.

Either way, both will have to want to stop. Really want to stop.

I think what labelling it as a mental illness does, is remove the boundaries to what the issue actually is.

People feel anxious or nervous because of experiences or issues that happen in their lives, people overeat because of something, because they have some memory or trigger that means they find comfort in eating or, in my case, are victims of self-sabotage.

A few months ago it felt helpless when I tried to diet, I got hungry, I over ate and I was right back where I started, the road is LONG when you are big, I have just had a look and it will be the end of October before I stop being classed as obese if I lose one stone a month. That is a massive commitment to eating less than is needed to sustain me, because that is what dieting is.

I have beat a variety of addictions, cocaine, speed, nicotine to name a few but eating has always been a massive one for me, I just find it so difficult and of course it is, I could remove myself from the other things without much worry but food is everywhere that you go.

Its about way more than 'eating less and moving more' it is about establishing why you got to the place you are at and working at fixing that so that you can treat your body in a way that is beneficial for it rather than a way that is damaging for it.

It is true, though, that the sufferer must want to engage with therapy (you can lead a horse to water etc.). With anorexics, better nutrition through increased calorie intake (sometimes through force feeding) aids mental processes needed for psychological recovery.

wading You're still talking about the behaviours. I am talking about the underlying psychological need. It might not be a mental illness but it rarely goes away.