To think DP should make dinner and not wait for me to do it?

[DapSlash]

I do the bedtime routine with 6 m/o DD. It takes just over an hour, from 5.45pmish to 7pmish.

During this time, DP spends time with DSD 6. They generally piss around on the iPad playing sodding Minecraft.

Once DD is finally asleep, I come downstairs and then have to start making dinner. Depending on what we're having, we don't normally sit down to eat until about 8pm. I think this is too late for DSD. Plus she's a really slow ether and can take longer then half an hour to finish.

I think that DP should make dinner while I'm putting DD to bed. So that by the time I come back down, it's nearly time to eat, meaning DSD has a chance of getting to bed remotely on time. (As it is, it's 9.15pm and she's only just gone to bed. I'll want to go to bed in an hour or so, meaning fuck all time with DP.)

But I am also on mat leave and DP works, so I've held off suggesting this because I feel like I should do the bigger share of making dinner and housework, etc, since he's working.

AIBU?

*slow eater. Not slow ether!

could you not have dinner earlier before your dd's bedtime? We normally feed the kids earlier and then eat by ourselves later

We do what ilove does.

YANBU. You should both have a fair share of free/quality time in the evening. It sounds as though you don't stop all evening.
Does DSD live with you? Is it like this every night?

Do you get any leisure time to piss about and play minecraft.

In my mind, maternity leave is about looking after a small child, not being a slave to a whole household. Surely the rest of the work needs to be split between the two presumably mature adults that decided to have a family together?

Yes that's a good idea too ilove, I'd be very happy with that. But DP has this thing about us eating together.

Personally I'm not bothered about eating together since every meal just descends into DP chivvying DSD along because she's taking too long to eat.

X posted with a lot of you.

I do feel that I don't get any free time until after dinner's done and cleared away. Most evening's that's not until nearly 9pm.

I'm getting more and more fucked off with it. I would actually really like to do what ilove suggests but I'm not sure how to get DP to agree.

DSD is with us 60% of the time btw.

Why don't you just do it? Make dinner you and DSD eat together, reheat dps later on if he's not capable of doing it himself?

I think a good sentence is "Eating at 8pm isn't work for me or DSD so either you cook when you get home or we don't eat together"

Sorry, just make the food earlier and put it on the table. Why cant you all eat together earlier?

That is late for a 6 year old.

At age 6 dd & ds were in bed between 7-7.30pm. We ate at 5-5.30pm & they started getting ready for bed at 6.30pm.

Sometimes I ate with them, sometimes I ate with dh at 7.30pm. We only eve cook stuff that takes 20-30 mins to cook.

I have learned from experience that what you take on during mat leave you often end up continuing when you go back to work so would encourage you to find a solution you are happy with now.

You could have "tea" with DSD and DH and baby at 5.30....push baby's bedtime to 7.00....I can't think why it takes you an hour? Is the baby breastfed? Unless you're bathing the baby every night?

It's not ok for you to make dinner every night no....DP could get DSD to help make it if you really don't want to change the baby's bedtime.

Agree that it's too late for the DSD to eat. We feed every one including children (aged 9 and 6) at 5.00...that's teatime....we all eat together and then it's bedtime at 7.30. Having to start the baby's bedtime at 5.45 seems excessively early.

So this is a good opportunity to ask: what do you all do about baby's bedtime?

I give her dinner around 5.45/6, bath at about 6.15/6.30, breast fed for about ten to twenty mins (depending on whether she's fighting sleep or happy to go down), asleep by 7pm.

Am I doing it wrong?

Also, with the eating earlier thing, I just don't get hungry until later in the evening. When I work I don't normally get home until 6.30.

YANBU
Can't dd have tea with DSD?

If he's got "a thing" about you eating together he can make the food yes?
I'd just go to bed once 6mo was in bed tbh. Too tired. Sleep's more important than food to me. (hide a twix in your bedside cabinet for sustenance)

We all eat together around 5pm. I know that's early for most ppl but I cba to have two sittings/ cooking/ clearing up etc.
If dh and I were to have a habit of eating together I would feed the kids together around 5 ish. Ours are 3 and 1 and it's supper at 5, bath at 6, asleep 7-730

When ds was a baby he had his solids at 5pm. Dd who was a toddler ate then too. In fact at she 10 ds still eats between 5-6pm.

I only bathed him 2-3 times a week but bathtime started at 6pm. At around 6.30pm I'd get dd washed, undressed & teeth brushed then shed watch the last half hour if cbeebies whilst I breasted ds.

Both in bed by 7pm

Give him the two options, either you eat earlier and he eats later or he cooks dinner so it's ready for when you get down.
If he can't choose then just do the first one and he will have to lump it!

Could you use a slow cooker sometimes and then the dinner could be cooking while you do the bedtime routine?

Your bedtime routine sounds identical to what my two had. It is awkward though and yes your dh should be cooking

DH always cooked dinner whilst I got our two DSs off to bed. They were asleep by 7.30 and then we ate our meal together watching the soaps. The boys ate earlier at around 5.00 as they were hungry then. We all ate together at weekends.

Dap she really doesn't need a bath every night. Save yourself the stress and give her a wash with a flannel.

Also, if she ate tea with the rest of you much earlier then it's a family meal.

But you're not working now...so you could do a child's tea...for baby and DSD together. Let them eat their tea together earlier and then do baby's bedtime while DH reads DSD a story and gets her ready to slow down before her bedtime.

Then he can bloody cook dinner while she's in bed.

Tomorrow, put your DD to bed and when you come down plop yourself on the sofa and say you are too knackered to cook. Then put your feet up and quietly wait it out even if it means having a sneaky sandwich later