To think DP should make dinner and not wait for me to do it?

[DapSlash]

I do the bedtime routine with 6 m/o DD. It takes just over an hour, from 5.45pmish to 7pmish.

During this time, DP spends time with DSD 6. They generally piss around on the iPad playing sodding Minecraft.

Once DD is finally asleep, I come downstairs and then have to start making dinner. Depending on what we're having, we don't normally sit down to eat until about 8pm. I think this is too late for DSD. Plus she's a really slow ether and can take longer then half an hour to finish.

I think that DP should make dinner while I'm putting DD to bed. So that by the time I come back down, it's nearly time to eat, meaning DSD has a chance of getting to bed remotely on time. (As it is, it's 9.15pm and she's only just gone to bed. I'll want to go to bed in an hour or so, meaning fuck all time with DP.)

But I am also on mat leave and DP works, so I've held off suggesting this because I feel like I should do the bigger share of making dinner and housework, etc, since he's working.

AIBU?

Well done, plus you have been very insightful in looking at your family relationships.

I think that setting up a new pattern now will definitely stand you in good stead when you go back to work.

Just a thought. My two never ate well when they were "past it" & over tired.

Your 6 year old isn't in bed before 9??

Jesus that's too late and she will be knackered.

My 4 were 7 till 7 at that age.

Sort tea earlier or get your partner to to it.

Yanbu op.

If he is working and you aren't then you should be cooking the tea.
I used to organise something that could cook without me having to watch over it.
So winter time stews and casseroles etc. Summer salads etc.

You could feed the children together earlier in the evening and you and dh probably take it in turns who cooks for you two.

I can see that he wants to spend time with dsd and that he has been to work all day.
Does he wash up/ do other things round the house.

if he is working and you aren't then you should be cooking the tea
Not neccessarily.
Surely it depends on what works best for each family.
For some ppl that makes sense. But if he's doing nothing else at home then OP would never have any down time. And if he gets in early enough to make dinner then why not? he needs to spend time with his dd but they could make dinner together. It's much easier and more compatible to make food with a 6yo than with a 6mo in tow.
Although I think preparing something ahead of time is probably the best option.
There's also an ongoing issue of dsd's late bedtime and the undercurrent of discontent (that I read anyway) about DP "sodding about" with DSD and them not having time alone without her.

If he is working and you aren't then you should be cooking the tea

Rubbish. Some of us have a DH who likes cooking. Mine enjoys it. He also understands that looking after children all day is also tiring and sometimes I don't feel like cooking.

I enjoy cooking but I don't want to do it everyday. There's no reason you shouldn't share what needs doing, especially when it comes to bedtime routine.

If he is working and you aren't then you should be cooking the tea

Only if the other half of the partnership is doing something else, like, oh maybe caring for their child and putting them to bed?

The 'hard working man' shouldn't get to sit on his arse and do nothing while the OP does all child and home stuff.

OP you say your DP doesn't do anything with the baby and says he doesn't know what to so she's too little. That's bullshit, it's his second child FFS. Suggest next available evening you come down with a headache/stomach ache or something just before bedtime and let DP do it with you popping in for a quick BF.

If he is working and you aren't then you should be cooking the tea

Piffle
Dh likes cooking and I dont so he cooks for me and him when he gets home - sometimes I chop stuff in preparation but he cooks it. I sort out the childrens' dinner earlier (around 5/6pm) as he comes in late and we sometimes dont eat until 8.30/9pm which is past their bedtimes.

Well that's the perfect arrangement isn't It ^^

Sort the kids out earlier and if you want to eat late then there's no little tummys waiting when they should be in bed.

I'm don't get in from work until after 7 and everybody's been fed long before then. I wouldn't be happy if my kids were made to wait for me getting in.

If he is working and you aren't then you should be cooking the tea
Oh here we go - another one who thinks looking after a baby and being SAHM isn't Work

What if they were both working out of the home - should the OP cook dinner then too morethan?

Millions and millions of adult people are perfectly able to work outside of the home, come home and prepare dinner for themselves and/or their family.

'Millions and millions of adult people are perfectly able to work outside of the home, come home and prepare dinner for themselves and/or their family.'

^This.

Who wiped these adults' arse before they partnered up and had kids?

DH was a SAHD for 4 years. We shared domestic tasks equally because looking after kids is a job.

She's on maternity leave.

He has two kids now and needs to buck up and be an adult.