To go apeshit (to my husband) when MiL informs me that SiL will be joining us for our 2 week summer holiday?

[helterskelter77]

Going on holiday to stay with FiL in Ireland next month. Now informed won't be alone - earlier was asked exact dates by MiL without any hint that they were arranging 'hijack' of hols. Pissed off as feel it was by stealth with no respect for my wishes at all. We work full time, never have holidays, exhausted, all the rest of it. Husband thinks it's 'naive' behaviour - I think it's just plain rude. AIBU?

Are you going to stay in their home?

What's the reason that MiL having her children to stay together is a problem?

How old is SIL?

Yanbu. Your arrangements, your rules.

Would you rather have just arrived to find SiL slurping tea, dropping biscuit crumbs and farting delicately on the couch?
At least they've "warned" you beforehand
Do you not get on with SiL? and do MiL and FiL live in different places? And if you don't like/get on with SiL, are the rest of the family aware of this?
(I know, I'm a nosy cah, but I am bored out of my tiny mind and would quite like to know all this stuff so I can rant vicariously on your behalf Go oooonnn, tell Aunty Pom all about it, I will be on your side and say YANBU honest! )

Sorry, yes, Fil and MiL are separated - only FiL lives in Ireland. Everyone else lives down the road.

Tell me more, do Have some and Is SiL difficult?

Is it a problem, does Fil have room for you all, if he does won't it be nice to have company?

Not particularly Pom, though rel with MiL is definitely strained and irritated at the 'announcement' that our only summer hol is being taken over. I just want a fecking holiday! Wish we were going camping in bloody Devon - next time will do that. Clearly visiting grandad and having a family holiday don't mix.My holiday is not my own. Perhaps IABU.

Hold on hold on - is it just the SIL who is going with you, the MIL can't be going too surely?

And yes, it's bloody rude to just foist her onto your holiday. Are you expected to transport her? How old is she? Is she a PITA? It's going to change the dynamic of the house when you get there anyway.

Very rude.

Sort of depends if you're being asked to transport her, or if she's young enough that you'll be looking out for/after her.

If so, YANBU - irritating.

If she's just staying with her dad over the same dates that you'll be there, then YABU - his gaff, his guests.

What's wrong with getting the whole family together? Do you not like SIL?

Sounds horrid having your holiday hijacked. Next time don't tell her you are going away/be vague over the dates.
Or yes, go camping instead.
Good luck.

Is Sil very young?

You are going to Ireland - the world and his wife will turn up :)

Stay in a hotel?

Similar thing has recently happened to me. I do prefer the forewarning compared to showing up and SIL just being there but still pissed off that she will be there in the first place! Holiday with outlaws= not a holiday at all in my book.

It's just SiL who is about my age. She's fine, I just want a holiday with my husband and young kids, who she rarely sees the rest of the time even though we live close by. We don't have money to go and have a holiday somewhere else, I thought going for 2 weeks is enough time to spend time with grandad and on our own too. I'm sure it'll be alright, just pissed off that it's been foisted on me and feel it was very calculated by MiL - announced in completely indirect way, no conversation about it possible.

Imelda, yes, whole world and his wife sounds about right, was probably being completely naive thinking it would be a 'holiday' in the first place. PassAFist - that's basically it, holiday don't feel like a holiday anymore.

Will she be demanding and taking up your time? Why does her presence mean that you won't be able to spend time together, or with your FIL?

I love my SIL to some on holidays. She would babysit DD while DH and I shag site-see.

Ha ha MrsPratchett I suppose there might be some perks :)

Why is your MiL organizing holidays for a DD who is a grown up?

Apologies if I've got this wrong, but you're going to stay with your fil, so fil will be there too? If that's correct then it won't be just you and your husband and children will it? What's one more close relative in these circumstances? I also assume your fil has agreed, so he is happy with this new arrangement in his own home?

Sorry for all the questions, but it helps to clarify.

I suspect your mil wants you all gone at the same time.

What is she up to???