An IPOAT Ball in honour of days of yore and yon mighty Maiden Juice

[Hullygully]

Shall we?

has anyone seen the Widow lately?

I feel some euthymy is required for Milady Exits neurasthenia

eurythmy? what the heck is it called?

I haven't seen the dear Widow in eons, I fear she has gone to wreak havoc on other shores, so few husbands left to murder here.

I'm feeling giddy
I will twirl and bounce and sway
My girdle has slipped!

here is the menu for tonight, I carelessly showed it to that copying scoundrel Careme whilst in Vienna for the Congress, but I hope it meets with your approval, Dear Hully

Cook must be having a fit of the vapours having to prepare all of that!

Could the parlour maid bring me my smelling salts and a clean lace hankie.

I don't know what anyone is talking about, but can I come too?

I am nice.

I do not want a husband

However, I will wear a posh frock and bring champagne and strawberries.

I am concerned about a world view through those newfangles sherry spectacles, but am preparing to eye the Italian Ambassador through limoncello lorgnettes.

Ooh champagne! Are we allowed that? I think the lady Hully will think it's unseemly.

Sod that then, no booze? No Ball!

I have verry gentile champagne though farewell, made from the sweat of cherubs and sweetened by the nectar of the Gods.....

(Costs £20 from Lidl)!

I am going to have to leave the ball early dear friends. I have been invited by an acquaintance to something called a 'book reading group' and I think it may be my chance to better myself. I may pop back in later to see how the ball is progressing and report on whether I feel 'better'.

Yes I must away to my toilette. These days I find it a lengthy process to attain the heights of magnificence necessary to one of my stature and bearing.

May I humbly suggest the use of some white lead, my lady? A generous application brings up the complexion beautifully.

Oh cripes .... I believe one of my fellow girls is in distress

Miss Exit fear not, I'm coming!

Alas I cannot find Mistress Mini in the distillery herb-drying shed but am pleased to report our vast stocks of juniper tisane are in excellent condition.

Possets galore too. And am delighted to see Mme Defarge has taken command of the kitchen. Lord knows what Cook has done to the small range though.

At what hour, pray, will the musicians arrive?

Why thank you Mistress Honey. I am much refreshed. I think I may manage a little light supper served in my room. If you could just get your hound off my bed, he is dribbling over my corset.

I come, bearing distilled juniper water, plus a well-polished musket, fife and drum.

Fife and drum?

So the musicians are arriving already! Prithee, who brings the sackbutt?

How are we doing for men? I found the second under-gardener lurking in the ha-ha....I suppose we might spruce him up..although I am strangely tired just now.

Icebeing were you an entropy sort of gal in a previous life?