Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To shit in the bushes

101 replies

bigpoo · 18/06/2014 23:26

Popped out to shop to get some paraetamol as id run out and had a bit of a headache.Shop is about half a mile away.

Was browsing and all of a sudden really needed a poo.as annoyed as it wasnt like id needed one for ages then it got worse,it was just like it came out of nowhere.Paid quickly and rushed home.

Really needed a poo so stopped at park to use loos but they were locked,started running,went through our local dog park which has a small bit of woodland type bit with tress and pushes,literally was about to shit myself.

Thought fuck it,went to do poo in the most secluded bit i could find (dog park was empty)luckily had wipes etc in my bag.

Looked down at my poo,it was almost the size of a large rolling pin.

Got out of there as quickly as possible and had a bath at home.

Now i cant stop thinking about it.

It was huge.

Someone is going to see it.

OP posts:
shockinglybadteacher · 18/06/2014 23:28

All's fair in love and shitting.

They'll never know it was you, anyway. Grin

YouTheCat · 18/06/2014 23:29

Do they have cctv?

bigpoo · 18/06/2014 23:30

I hope not.

OP posts:
shockinglybadteacher · 18/06/2014 23:30

In a wood? That's worse than 1984!

BrianTheMole · 18/06/2014 23:31

Ewww. Fill your boots. Or the bushes in this case. You should have picked it up and put it in the doggy do bin Wink

MrsMikeDelfino · 18/06/2014 23:31

Is the poo troll back?! If not. Ewww. Dirty fecker. now walking away from the thread as realising I'm engaging with literally shit

bigpoo · 18/06/2014 23:32

I know it sounds disgusting but i cant believe it was inside me.I cant believe i was walking around with that INSIDE ME.

OP posts:
shockinglybadteacher · 18/06/2014 23:36

Well, it's outside you now. You should feel relieved.

TheThreeCheesesOfTheApocalypse · 18/06/2014 23:37

Meh.

WanderingOakensHoohoo · 18/06/2014 23:38
Biscuit
QueenQueenie · 18/06/2014 23:40

Blimey. Just blimey.

LaurieFairyCake · 18/06/2014 23:40

Why didn't you take it home, freeze it, and then reinsert it in your partner?

Or have we done that thread already ? Hmm

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 18/06/2014 23:41

The important question is, are you a bear?

If you say yes, one of the great questions of the universe has been answered.

If not, YABU.

bigpoo · 18/06/2014 23:41

That makes me feel sick Laurie.

Whats the biscuit for?

OP posts:
Maryz · 18/06/2014 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gertiegusset · 18/06/2014 23:43

So glad you shared. Hmm

HavanaSlife · 18/06/2014 23:43
Grin
LaurieFairyCake · 18/06/2014 23:43

Space docking!

That's what the frozen poo sex is, isn't it?

BrianTheMole · 18/06/2014 23:45

Omg LaurieFairyCake Shock That Is Just... Words fail me.

Aeroflotgirl · 18/06/2014 23:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

gertiegusset · 18/06/2014 23:46

Do I dare google that?
Space docking...maybe I shan't bother.

LaurieFairyCake · 18/06/2014 23:48

Just don't google image it Grin

It's been mentioned loads of times on here- totally grotesque thought to me

matildasquared · 18/06/2014 23:49

Hey, and look at your username! What are the chances of that, right?

BrianTheMole · 18/06/2014 23:53

Aww, fuck I googled space docking. Why the fuck did I do that. I didn't need to know that. I didn't WANT to know that.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 18/06/2014 23:53

Why did I google 'space docking' Angry

More importantly, why did I then click on not only the definition of 'space docking', but also the phenomenon known as 'space docking fondue'.

It is not something that you'd dip a marshmallow into.

unless you call your penis marshmallow