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AIBU?

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Original poster

To shit in the bushes

101 replies

bigpoo · 18/06/2014 23:26

Popped out to shop to get some paraetamol as id run out and had a bit of a headache.Shop is about half a mile away.

Was browsing and all of a sudden really needed a poo.as annoyed as it wasnt like id needed one for ages then it got worse,it was just like it came out of nowhere.Paid quickly and rushed home.

Really needed a poo so stopped at park to use loos but they were locked,started running,went through our local dog park which has a small bit of woodland type bit with tress and pushes,literally was about to shit myself.

Thought fuck it,went to do poo in the most secluded bit i could find (dog park was empty)luckily had wipes etc in my bag.

Looked down at my poo,it was almost the size of a large rolling pin.

Got out of there as quickly as possible and had a bath at home.

Now i cant stop thinking about it.

It was huge.

Someone is going to see it.

OP posts:
Chwaraeteg · 19/06/2014 10:22

Of course if you had to go ynbu. The size of a rolling pin though? Please tell me that's an exaggeration. Also, you probably should have covered it afterwards.

WaywardOn3 · 19/06/2014 10:22

As long as you picked it up and didn't just leave it there! Leaving human poo on the floor is just as nasty as leaving dog poo...

Linskibinski · 19/06/2014 10:23

Hahahahaha did you chew bits of grass and kick your feet backwards in the grass?

Toooldtobearsed · 19/06/2014 10:28

Why? Just why would you post this? Genuine question. Bad enough you did it, but why boast about it?

Aeroflotgirl · 19/06/2014 15:04

I too googled space docking but got space ships and space stations Confused

littlewhitebag · 19/06/2014 15:16

I did this recently when walking the dog. I knew i was not going to make it home... and it was early morning... and no-one was around. So i popped into a secluded bush, did what was needed and used a poo bag to collect the...ahem...waste.

Strangely i was far more repulsed at carrying my own poo than i have ever been carrying the dog's poo. I have also never told a soul about it so don't breathe a word. Grin

ViviPru · 19/06/2014 15:21

Remember that thread on here not too long ago where it transpired that couples going to take a dump together in public places is an actual thing? DH actually wept tears of mirth when I told him about that .

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 19/06/2014 15:48

Oh god this is so gross. I'm still traumatised from some dirty fucker linking a scat fetish site on here after one of these poo threads.

lowers tone

silveroldie2 · 19/06/2014 16:02

For anyone who is new to this website NEVER google sayings if you don't know what they are - they are ALWAYS gross and you can never scrub them from your brain. I learned this the hard way.

OP I'm trying to understand why you felt the need to tell us about pooing behind a bush - do you want a gold star or something?

ShakeYourTailFeathers · 19/06/2014 16:09

You need to go back with a shovel and bury it OP. You know that's the right thing to do Grin

extremepie · 19/06/2014 16:48

Just curious, why can't people just hold it? I've needed to go badly before but never been close to actually pooing myself unless I've been really ill!

Aeroflotgirl · 19/06/2014 17:51

Extreme pie you obviously have sphincters of Steel. There are times when it just comes or you need to go right now.

littlewhitebag · 19/06/2014 18:24

extremepie I have never got into that state before and have managed to hold on but that time i just knew i had to go right there and then or i would have soiled myself. I was a bit horrified but glad i was in a quiet, relatively private place.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/06/2014 19:23

There are people with medical problems who sometimes need to go quickly and cannot hold!

ToysRLuv · 19/06/2014 19:47

Extremepie: I suggest you eat a bag of sugar free haribos and see what happens..

Fenton · 19/06/2014 19:50

some of you oversharers people are really fucking weird.

sewinghomey · 19/06/2014 19:51

You should have done what the marathon runners do and shit into your cupped hand and then fling it like a wild gorilla.

Job done.

ToysRLuv · 19/06/2014 19:54

It's just bodily functions, but, fair enough, forgot it's mega taboo more than Friday night bumsex and weird. My apologies.

Fenton · 19/06/2014 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ToysRLuv · 19/06/2014 20:02

I never gave details, but should someone want to, they can IMO go ahead. People get off on all sorts of things, like dentistry etc. It's not going to stop me talking about going to the dentist. If the OP is the poo troll, then good luck to her/him. Report the thread if you think it's suspicious.

5OBalesofHay · 19/06/2014 20:02

Oh, so what if you shat in the woods. Good enough for bears good enough for anyone. Should have picked it up though.

MyrtleDove · 19/06/2014 20:08

extremepie I have IBS and cannot hold it in sometimes, same with people with crohn's and colitis. I've never shat in the bushes though.

Toooldtobearsed · 19/06/2014 20:11

It's not the doing it, it is the bragging about it, and before anyone says 'but the OP wasn't bragging', you post stuff like that unless you are looking for a reaction.

Horrible.

daisychain01 · 19/06/2014 20:13

I have needed to dive for the nearest bush from time to time, when out running, just as well I live in the stix.

Pounds lighter, then, bigpoo? I think when nature calls there is nothing you can do. I mean, it wasn't like you stored up that big lunker deliberately, did you?

Better it was rolling pin shaped and not Football shaped.

PrincessBabyCat · 19/06/2014 20:21

I too googled space docking but got space ships and space stations

Consider yourself lucky. Or check urban dictionary to get a definition