Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To shit in the bushes

101 replies

bigpoo · 18/06/2014 23:26

Popped out to shop to get some paraetamol as id run out and had a bit of a headache.Shop is about half a mile away.

Was browsing and all of a sudden really needed a poo.as annoyed as it wasnt like id needed one for ages then it got worse,it was just like it came out of nowhere.Paid quickly and rushed home.

Really needed a poo so stopped at park to use loos but they were locked,started running,went through our local dog park which has a small bit of woodland type bit with tress and pushes,literally was about to shit myself.

Thought fuck it,went to do poo in the most secluded bit i could find (dog park was empty)luckily had wipes etc in my bag.

Looked down at my poo,it was almost the size of a large rolling pin.

Got out of there as quickly as possible and had a bath at home.

Now i cant stop thinking about it.

It was huge.

Someone is going to see it.

OP posts:
MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 18/06/2014 23:55

Oh god. I described myself as a 'marshmallow with a dark side' on that 'what do you define yourself as on MN' thread, and now I feel a little bit sick.

ToysRLuv · 18/06/2014 23:56

Ah, this nearly happened to me once. I managed to get home by waddling a few meters at a time and stopping whenever I felt I couldn't hold it, but shat myself at my toilet door before I managed to take my trousers off. It was the bastard sugar free sweets.. I ate a whole bag of them.

On a separate occasion, DM didn't make it back home. We were on a walk together and suddenly she just really had to go, but there was nowhere to go. Luckily the trousers were able to hold it for the short walk back home. But I nearly died laughing..

DeepThought · 18/06/2014 23:57

You should have dug a foundation for a canal latrine and buried it, non?

Pipbin · 18/06/2014 23:59

Well I google image searched it and all I got was actual space ships.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 19/06/2014 00:00

Urban Dictionary is not your friend, Pipbin Grin

LaurieFairyCake · 19/06/2014 00:06

Pipbin - you've parental controls on your broadband Wink

Do not disable them!

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 19/06/2014 00:07

Is it the summer holidays already?! Confused

Boomerwang · 19/06/2014 00:08

It's a horrible feeling. I'm lucky that it's only happened once in my life and I managed to make it to a toilet just in time. The unlucky part was that it was a motorway service station that required a 50 pfeg piece (germany) or something and my parents didn't have one so I squirmed outside while my dad rushed to get change... then I emptied the world out into the toilet. Did I care that there wasn't any toilet paper? No. I made do with a paper hanky and that was that. I probably fell asleep afterwards.

andsmile · 19/06/2014 00:10

Are you really a bear that shits in the woods that has er strayed into the bushes?

You dirty dirty beast

andsmile · 19/06/2014 00:10

Never google anything you dont understand from MN.

AnotherOneBitestheDust · 19/06/2014 00:11

Arse biscuits.

shockinglybadteacher · 19/06/2014 00:16

I had that issue in a car once. I wasn't driving so I had to beg the driver to pull over (which she did with bad grace) then flee into the woods. It's one of my more disturbing memories, and I have a few.

Chumhum · 19/06/2014 00:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

andsmile · 19/06/2014 00:26

prickles up yer bum
prickles up yer bum
prickles up yer bum
prickles up yer bum
prickles up yer bum
prickles up yer bum

PrincessBabyCat · 19/06/2014 00:32

Why did I google 'space docking'

Dammit. Curiosity got the best of me. Thanks. Angry

Though I do wonder, is it really possible? Can it really be done?

The mechanics of it just boggle the mind. Grin

Maryz · 19/06/2014 00:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrincessBabyCat · 19/06/2014 01:00

Maryz Maybe they're having a circle jerk?

shockinglybadteacher · 19/06/2014 01:06

Maryz because I find it kind of amusing. And not in that way, either ;)

If MN was full of poo fetishists, I probably wouldn't be here. But the odd one or two wandering in, well, it's a Wednesday night and it's important to be kind to the afflicted. Grin

Original poster
bigpoo · 19/06/2014 09:11

no not a poo troll!

Am a semi regular poster actaully,just changed my name!

I dont know why i posted it,i guess maybe subconciously i wondered if it was that bad??A couple of others have said its happened to them.

I dont know if it was the right thing to do,but i told DH.He said no way would he of shat in the woods,he would of rather pooed his pants.

I am not going to google space docking.I already googled scatting once that was bad enough.

OP posts:
montysma1 · 19/06/2014 09:24

I have shat behind a bus stop when caught short out running.
It was like 1ft tall Mr Whippy.
Often think of going back to see if its still there.

Original poster
bigpoo · 19/06/2014 09:44

Grin monty that made me chuckle.

OP posts:
andsmile · 19/06/2014 09:49

oh dear id had the wine last night sorry for my insolent posts

OwlCapone · 19/06/2014 09:58

Is it OK when a dog does it and the owner doesn't clear it up? No.

This applies equally to humans.

Which should be obvious.

Boomerwang · 19/06/2014 10:03

Oh sorry I didn't realise. I'm not really clued up on trolling.

gordyslovesheep · 19/06/2014 10:12

vile