To shit in the bushes

[bigpoo]

Popped out to shop to get some paraetamol as id run out and had a bit of a headache.Shop is about half a mile away.

Was browsing and all of a sudden really needed a poo.as annoyed as it wasnt like id needed one for ages then it got worse,it was just like it came out of nowhere.Paid quickly and rushed home.

Really needed a poo so stopped at park to use loos but they were locked,started running,went through our local dog park which has a small bit of woodland type bit with tress and pushes,literally was about to shit myself.

Thought fuck it,went to do poo in the most secluded bit i could find (dog park was empty)luckily had wipes etc in my bag.

Looked down at my poo,it was almost the size of a large rolling pin.

Got out of there as quickly as possible and had a bath at home.

Now i cant stop thinking about it.

It was huge.

Someone is going to see it.

Fair enough! If you have medical conditions I guess there are times when you cannot hold - I personally have some issues with toileting so am the queen of holding, I'm talking hours and hours, all day if I have to! Probably not good for my body though :(

daisy. extreme my mum sufferers IBS and has had a few accidents

Yuck yuck yuck

Sorry not about IBS sufferers - just about the first 2 pages of this thread, which I really shouldn't have read.

Ah the joys of MN bowel behaviours!

I remember one of my first MN experiences was a thread where some poor woman hadnt been for a week, so had taken a double-dose of senacot... Nothing.... All bran.. Still nothing... Comes on MN, hey guys what should I do, I daren't leave the house, must get to the shops but Im too scared to move now, in case "things" start to happen.

She was getting advice like take a loo roll with you, spare pants, go for a walk round the block etc etc.

Eventually, the earth move for her, literally, I think there was an almighty bang from somewhere up the M1

aeroflot embarrassing that the only worthwhile use of an England football is on a MN thread about bowel movements

I know daisy it's all that's it's worth now

How did you wipe your arse?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! moomin marshmallow with a dark side....

rolling pin

Proper laughing..... Dds wants to know what I am laughing at!!!

My mum took dd2 to the play park last summer and she needed a poo so she did it behind the tree...... Such a grimlord.

So...home was half a mile away, so about a 5 minute walk. You rushed home. But didn't actually get to this far-flung destination, and then went to the park? Is that what you are asking us to believe?

If you poo outside, you'll get worms.....everyone knows that

Do not google space docking. Or Space Dock fondue.

I too googled space docking fondue, but got random unrelated rubbish. Can someone post a picture please

You do not want a piture.

I warned you all Space Dock Fondue definition

I should not have googled space docking either.

Errr who the hell does that disgusting stuff. The woman coud get an infection yuck.

Better than walking around with a shitty arse!!

why the heck did I just read that!! and WHO does this stuff and why???

Evening! We're getting a lot of reports on troll hunters on this thread. Please remember to report not post if you suspect troll hunting. For the record, it looks like the OP is, as she says, a regular poster who has name changed for this. Hope all is well your end (ahem), OP.

Oh dear god, why did I ever go near Urban Dictionary. I've been there before, you'd think I'd know better.

Do not, ever, EVER, EVER search for 'hot lunch' there.

Just don't.

sits in a corner and giggles manically

My DH exposed me to urban dictionary. I'm just passing it on