To think it would benefit my 2 sons if their grandad's house didn't have to be sold in the future for care home fees

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We have 2 sons (aged 16 and 18). Everyone knows about the dire prospects of any teenagers today ever getting on the property ladder. My sons have always been close to their paternal grandparents. Grandmother died 4 years ago after having Alzheimer's for 7 years. She ended up in a home for last 6 months as my father in law looked after her at home.

He is now 81 and has been diagnosed with dementia. We own our house outright. My husband has one brother who is married, nearly 5o with no children. He owns 2 houses outright, one which he rents out.

We save extremely hard for our future and hopefully house deposits for our sons but the outlook is very bleak from reading the papers/watching the news and I find the outlook for their future very depressing - will they be living with us until they are 40

After the diagnosis my brother in law said he thought it would be a good idea to get his dad's bank balance down as he has nearly £90,000 in the bank. He and my husband withdrew £3,000 each a few months ago with my father in law's approval But I think it is too late for this to make any difference to any possible future care needs. Even if it was reduced to under £23,000 which I understand is the threshold limit for contributing towards your care, the care home would say the house had to be sold.

I am sure my father in law would like to see his only grandchildren live in the house when he passes away, rather than it being sold for care home fees. My brother in law has no children to worry about, has a brilliant final salary pension and a very large bank balance.

I don't know why he came up with the idea to start reducing the bank balance when it will make no difference to his dad having to fund his care if the time comes. No more money has been withdrawn yet but my husband is burying his head in the sand over this and is just agreeing with his older brother.

I do not want a penny from any estate, I would just love to see our sons get a helping hand for the future but this would be via us as the will is 50/50 between my husband and his brother.

I am a very positive person and don't get depressed about much but I feel utter despair at the housing prospects for today's teenagers.

Please tell me if I am being out of order .

My mother had a drinks tray in her room at hers.

this thread really is in poor taste and very grabby

id be disgusted to even think like this let alone post about it

I want to go to one of those retirement communities in florida and wear a sun visor bet they have a evening lounge bar

My MIL's home h s sherry in the sun lounge at noon every day and wine with dinner every night. And every time theres's a birthday, theres a champagne reception!
And we are selling her house to pay for her care......

Sounds bloody lovely

unrealhousewife I am going to assume that you have no idea of how much care costs.

Deliberate Deprivation of Assets is a crime, if it's suspected, you will be investigated.

Ignoring the OP but commenting on the thread in general.

One thing no-one seems to have picked up on is the massive rise in house prices actively benefiting house owners going into care. A lot of people in their 70s will have had tiny mortgages. They have thousands of unearned pounds in equity. They may have paid less than 10% of their house's value. So the money they accrued in equity isn't money they saved. It's the product of the market and they got MIRAS tax breaks.

Is this the grandad that your elder son stole from?

Reading through your past threads I object to paying taxes to fund your fil care so that your waster son can get a free ride.

By the way benefit recipients are not scrounges.

"I really hate the sentiments expressed by those middle class people"

Er, which middle class people are you referring to?

There are some lovely care homes about. My mum was widowed in 1953. She worked for a lowish wage until she retired. She brought me and my sister up. Then she looked after her Dad and then her mum. When she became ill she came to live with me. She was not able to save a lot. She lived in a council flat, receiving some benefits on top of her pension. I looked after her (her extra benefits then stopped) until she was so immobile and needed more care than I could give. After a long hospital stay she went into a care home funded by the local authority. She was allowed to keep about £20 of her pension - the rest helped to pay for her care. Then last year she went into a Nursing Home - a wonderful place. Here they looked after her til she passed away. Both homes took funded and non funded. So according to some of you my mum should have received inferior board, food and care because she was not able to pay for all of it. In both homes no one knew who was funded and who was not. They were all treated the same and I can honestly say with love and care in both. I think my Mum had paid her dues to society and deserved good care.

Some people currently going into care have been retired and enjoyed state pensions for up to thirty years. Plus other benefits and of course the huge profits in their house prices increasing massively. It is a bit much to expect the next generation, who are already struggling with unaffordable housing and insecure jobs to fund their care too. Seems this current elderly generation have it all ways and the next have it none.

Which middle class people

Back

What on earth are you talking about? Chip on your shoulder heavier than usual?

"It's the presumption that, if you have no savings or material wealth you're often spoken as either/and/or a lazy fecker or you've spent all your cash having a fabulous, selfish time and now you expect to lie in a bed in a nursing home and not pay for it"

I don't know whether you've actually read the thread- but if you do read it carefully,you will see that the overwhelming majority of people agree with you, and have pointed the error of the OP's ways out to her in no uncertain terms.......

Basil - There does come a time in life where we put our children before ourselves, probably when we have them. That doesn't mean we live through our children, it just means that we don't want to take luxuries at the expense of our children having a day out or a nice holiday. They might even take me with them.

My PiL have dementia and savings and own their house outright. It means they have choices about their care options and have lived at home with live in care for the last 16 months when otherwise they would have had to go into a home which both of them would have hated as Social services in our area don't fund 24hour care at home. (MiL did go into a home for respite for 3 weeks when they flooded their house and hated it, though she's now at the point where she wouldn't really notice). Our aim for them is that they should have the best care possible for as long as possible, and hopefully when the money runs out they will be too far gone to notice or care. If there is anything left over for dh and the dc afterward it will be a bonus. FiL tried to give ds his university fees when he was first diagnosed, but we refused (it would have clearly been deprivation of assets, but didn't feel right anyway). So yes I do think the OP is being a bit out of order.

If you sons need a helping hand,they need to get decent job or trade and save

"Basil - There does come a time in life where we put our children before ourselves, probably when we have them. That doesn't mean we live through our children, it just means that we don't want to take luxuries at the expense of our children having a day out or a nice holiday. They might even take me with them."

Really? Really? I for one would be deeply ashamed if I had brought up children who thought it was more important for them to have a holiday than for their elderly mother to have a nice place to live.

I'm not sure I'd class a decent care home as a luxury, unreal!

"From each according to his ability. To each according to his need". Yes a communist maxim but also the foundation of our welfare system. There will always be those at both ends that abuse the system but the principle remains and should not stop us holding it as an ideal.

Hakluyt I'm talking about 1500 a week care homes as previous posters have mentioned. The care homes are raking it in.

Of course my children would want somewhere nice for me to live, I just wouldn't insist on it being an expensive nice place to live if at all possible.