To think that our children aren't safe in general and we need to be super vigilant ?

[cafebistro]

I don't think in being unreasonable or paranoid after today. My friend and I went into town on a shopping trip with our children. My dd is 4 years old and my friend dd is just a baby. We were walking through town and has to stop along with a crowd of other shoppers at a level crossing for a good 5 minutes. During this time I noticed a guy looking at my dd. No actually he was eyeing her up and down. I quietly said something to my friend and she said alarmed "he's leering at her". I kept her close , she was messing with her dress and I was frantically pulling it down. I kept checking and he was still doing it, staring. Anyway the level crossing was clear and we carried on walking into a shop. Then I noticed the guy had followed us in. A little while later I was looking at something on shelves and then quickly turned round and the guy was right behind me , he jumped as in shock and moved away.

I'm in shock. I know the guy didn't actually do anything but I think this is the first time I've ever felt that my child may have been under threat. I actually felt like saying to this man "what is your problem! If you come near my child again ...."

I honestly don't think I was being paranoid .

WTF would the police do?

I take it by "sensible" you mean the ones that agreed with you, of which there were very few. The "meh" majority won out here, whether you care to acknowledge that or not.

Your're right op. Despite the stupid replies. You were there, your friend was there. You both felt it. If this is the first time it happened, then you're obviously not prone to over reaction generally when people look at your child. I think its right to trust your instinct if something is making you feel uncomfortable. Whatever people like to say to the contrary.

My DP is a big hairy beardy man. If there's a baby within 5 feet of him he can't help but look and go 'awe squishy baby I'm so broody' in his head.

On the outside-he is staring at a baby.

So yeah. Why assume the worst for everything?

Wonder if he drive a white van.....

Did you consider he may have had SN? Some adults with LD's aren't always great at personal space/staring etc...

I have found myself gazing at some exceptionally attractive specimens (men, women, children, all). And I'm pretty meh about anything that doesn't have fur or feathers generally.

It doesn't mean I want to have sex with any of them. I'm just admiring them in the same way I would a beautiful portrait or sculpture.

Perhaps your DD reminded the man of a child he knew? Perhaps not.

Either way, I don't see how you can reasonably extrapolate your thread title from this one brief encounter.

OP can you just confirm that you watched him stare for a solid 5 minutes and didnt say anything?

FFS there's a whole internet full tons of inappropriate images he could be looking at rather than 'leering' at your child.

He probably thought she looked familiar or something

I saw a little girl in the Co-Op yesterday and couldn't get over the fact she was the spitting image of my mate's DD...she was like her long lost twin.

I probably couldn't take my eyes off her while I was standing in the queue

So lock up your kids...Worra's coming to town

Maybe he was just looking, or broody, or had SN - what does it matter? The OP didn't set fire to him or call the police! He made her uncomfortable, she kept her child extra close.

I haven't mentioned phoning the police. I have no intention of doing this. And I've been a mum for 9 years and never experienced this so I'm definitely not putting my paranoia onto my kids.

You were with her and your friend. I imagine you were holding her hand.In a busy street. What did you think would happen? If you felt genuinely discomforted a polite"can I help you" may have resolved the situation. If he was not being threatening he could answer you or realise you were discomforted and moved off. If he wasn't he would realise he had been noticed and again moved off.

Yes, it was me that suggested ringing 101, and I don't mind saying that. The op, a mum of many years standing, got,freaked out by this person, who her friend said was 'leering' at her daughter. Leering is not normal behaviour. As I said, most people are decent, but it's naive to,think that paedophiles don't exist. It may be coincidence that the man went to the same shop, it may not be, but we will never know.

The op is obviously still slightly shook up,by the incidence several hours after the event, so it obviously had an impact.

I don't believe there a paedophile on every corner, and let my children play freely in the street, but you can never be too careful.

Whilst you probably wouldn't want to ask him to babysit, it's highly unlikely that he posed any threat to your child.
You do sound paranoid. Strangers are not where the risks are.
On the whole, yes , our children are safe.

Absolutely sillylass. Its exactly that.

Well, maybe he was a weird old paedophile, maybe your instincts were correct. How on earth does that justify your choice of title - 'our children aren't safe in general'??

Singlesuzy - we were in a crowd of people in a busy city. Would you have approached someone you didn't know and challenge them about staring at your child? No I didn't think so. It was five minutes and no I didn't challenge him if thAts what your asking.

'Leering is not normal behaviour'
Neither is accusing men who happen to look in a child's direction a couple of times of being a pervy stalker.

Would you have approached someone you didn't know and challenge them about staring at your child?

Something non confrontational like a curt "can I help you?" wouldn't have cost you anything or led to 10 rounds in the ring.

Anyonefortennis- what is the white van reference?