to think 6pm is late enough?

[Oakmaiden]

Because my daughter thinks I am very unreasonable. It is still light. She doesn't go to bed for aaaaaages. All her friends are still playing out.

But I think that 6pm is a reasonable time for a 10 year old to come in, eat tea, and then stay indoors.

What do you think?

So, if she starts getting ready for bed at 8pm but has to be in by 6pm,what the hell does she do for two hours while all her friends are outside? Poor girl. As others have said 'cut her some slack'.

My 11 yo is allowed out until 8.15/8.30 and is in bed for 9. I think you are being a bit unreasonable.

YANBU to ask and reconsider in the light of advice. Make sure she knows that you have done that - it's a great lesson in life that sometimes we change our minds when we have thought through something.

(You can also tell her that MN is always right. Then when she wants to go away for the weekend to a festival aged 15 with someone you've never met, and we all say that YANBU to say no, then she won't be able to argue, she will understand that MN is always right! )

Yabu - 6 is really early. Or dd who is not yet 2 is normally in the garden until later than that just now, we take her tea out and she's eats outside whilst she plays, we normally come in just about 6.30.

You say you dd goes to bed about 8.45 - I would have though she should be in about 8ish to get ready for bed.

It is a bit early to be fair.

My DS comes in for tea at 6pm and goes out to play again until about 7.30. He then has an hour to wind down, have a bath, maybe a bit of supper and is in bed by 8.30 and he is 9 (year 4).

Slight change this week, due to the World Cup, as he has been in the house watching football.

Only you know your child well enough to know whats best.

my dcs also have to be in at 6pm, oldest same age as yours, the at/after6 they have tea, a bath, and any packing bags for school/homework before settling down with a dvd at 7, asleep by about 8.30pm. to be honest I think that is reasonable, children need about 12hrs sleep anyway, how do they get that if they are not in till 8 gone?

it works for me and my kids, they do not get up any later in the morning if they stay up later the night before, they get up normal time and are very tired after a late night.

In the summer hols they will get to stay up+out a bit longer, but only because there is no school so if theyre tired it doesn't matter as much.

My daughter is three, so she's only allowed to play in our own yard and driveway, supervised of course. We let her go out until 9ish, until it starts to get dark. She can't catch fireflies if it's light outside.

Do some children take suitcases to school? Why does it take so long to pack their bags and get their school stuff ready? Also why does it take an hour to get ready for bed? Takes ds 5 mins to brush his teeth and pjs on. Why do older children need to "wind down" for bed? What does it mean? Do children need 12 hours as they grow up? I thought 8 yr olds needed about 10.5 on average. Some people's routines baffle me.

Some of my favourite memories of childhood are all the local kids playing out in the light evenings. I would much rather have children playing outside than inside watching tv.

My dc are now teens, but when they were 9 or 10 they always went back outside after tea in the summer. As long as they have done homework etc then I can't see the problem.

My 2 ages 4 1/2 and 6 1/2 are out later than this.Shes to old to be brought in at 6.Anyway they tire themselves out more playing out than sitting in.Yabu.

Jings my 4 year old plays out until about 8pm!!

My kids (9+11) have only just now come in from the garden and are now having showers. They will hopefully be in bed asleep by 9.45. I was in the garden too until about 8.30. 6 seems very early to me, but then we only really come home at about that time (the kids go to afterschool club).

No..yanbu. Even though it's light, after 6 is evening...that's not the time for children to be out playing on the street or in the park.

I call 5.30 a normal curfew. It's after 6 that people begin walking to the pub and the atmosphere changes outside.

YABU let her back out and bring her in to unwind 1 hour before bedtime. It's not often we get the weather to allow our DC's out to play.

steff13 how lovely

6 pm is very early for a 10 year old. I tended to allow until 7.30 or 8.00 pm at that age during term time, and then they had to come in to get showered / bathed and ready for bed.

During school holidays or often at weekends I would allow them out later, but only on long and light summer evenings. As the evenings drew in during autumn I gradually crept it in earlier. They were not, and still aren't now (at 11 and 15) allowed out after dark.

I don't find they need 12.5 hours sleep. That is absurd. Mine have always been good sleepers even as babies, but would never have done that. My rule is simply into bed at a sensible time and up again around 7.00 am to get ready for school. Never had a problem.

DS is six. He is allowed out to 8pm (with me). Sometimes it's later if his friends and their mums are out and we are busy gossiping.

At 10... YABVVU

Hell, I'd let her stay out until ten. Weather is so shite in this country and - generalisation alert - kids these days spent most of their time inside playing crappy games on their x boxes.

Whatever brief reprieve we get on the weather front should be enjoyed for as long as possible.

My 7 and 8 year old can play in the garden until 7.30/8 on weekdays...then wash, reading bed by 8.30/8.45

Weekends - out until 9/9.30

Opposite in winter....inside unless I kick them out at the weekend. Bed probably 7/7.30pm

steff13 how lovely

That's one of the joys of summer, catching fireflies and putting them in a jar. Well, that's what I did when I was little, now we catch and release. :)

If my kids were still in school, we'd have them in the house a bit earlier, but we have a long summer break - they've been off since the end of May and won't go back until the end of August. I take it some of the kids in the UK are still in school?

I'd go with how you feel. Dd is almost 9 and never plays out unsupervised! Not one of her friends do either so I can only presume most of you live on small close estates? Most mums I know only start unsupervised in year 5&6. I will let her out and sit on the step etc though til around 7pm on a school night, hour later at weekends. I agree with poster above, age 10 is far too young to be hanging round the streets at 8pm unsupervised.

Different if supervised, in front of the house, in neighbors garden etc but just out and about streets away.....no way. Not worried bout stranger danger as such more other kids. Plus I think it's fair to say most people would complain about groups of kids hanging round streets at night. There's a few from the estate 4 streets from me who cause nothing but trouble hanging round, intimidating people (only approx age 11) which is why their patents are probably letting them out for so long!

I am shocked at how late peoples dc go to bed. My nearly ten year old ( year four) goes to bed at 7.30 if we are home or as soon as she gets back from a club so 8 at the latest. I wouldn't let her play out other than the garden in the evening and I would want her inside by six she wouldn't go out after dinner.

In Summer I would say that 7.30 to 8 is early enough for a 10 year old to come in. 7.30 in the week and 8 at weekends. I'd say bed by 8.30 in the week and maybe a little later Friday/Saturday.

For DS (8) 5pm is the time he needs to be back from being away from the house (at friends, the park, etc) and we usually finish all garden play by 7pm for a 8pm bedtime, even in the summer. Summer is short, but little dude still needs his sleep!

Just to clarify - someone has said how ridiculous to expect a child to sleep for 12 1/2 hours. I don't. Of course I don't. She doesn't go to bed at 6pm, I have just been expecting indoor play after that time. She goes to bed at 8:45, up again at 6:30, which makes just under 10 hours sleep. Which I think is about right for a 10 year old?

Someone asked if I had to go to bed early as a child - yes, I did. I very clearly remember being in bed and hearing my friends play outside, as it happens. I do know that at the age of 12 I was at boarding school and lights out was at 8:30 then, so I have actually been worrying that I let my daughter stay up too late... But then, we have always been an early bedtime family.

At the moment she comes in at 6pm, eats supper, helps to clear up, then plays with her brother until 8pm (so for about an hour and a bit). I do worry about her getting overtired on a school day - she is a very busy bee at school....