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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 6pm is late enough?

106 replies

Oakmaiden · 17/06/2014 19:31

Because my daughter thinks I am very unreasonable. It is still light. She doesn't go to bed for aaaaaages. All her friends are still playing out.

But I think that 6pm is a reasonable time for a 10 year old to come in, eat tea, and then stay indoors.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
Oakmaiden · 17/06/2014 19:47

She is supposed to get ready for bed at 8pm, and then reading or something quiet in her room til 8:45. Which feels horrendously late to me, but she has never been good at going to sleep, so I have let bedtime creep to that time. (She gets up at 6:30am)

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 17/06/2014 19:49

My DS(11) plays out til 8pm and goes to bed at 9pm.

He has to do his homework before he's allowed out though.

MaryWestmacott · 17/06/2014 19:50

Oakmaiden, when is bedtime and how early do you need to start your "getting ready for bed" routine? (as in, does she shower before bed and generally faffing)

I would say let her play out until it's time for going up to get ready for bed, why does she have to sit in 'winding down'? Shes not a toddler.

MaryWestmacott · 17/06/2014 19:51

oh x post, then how about tomorrow let her play out until 7:45pm, she comes in and goes straight up. Perhaps she's rubbish at going to bed because she isn't tired and perhaps charging up and down the street for an extra hour might knacker her out a bit more? Worth trying...

FloozeyLoozey · 17/06/2014 19:53

Ds, 8, was playing out till 730 last night. I only get home at 6.45, we sometimes don't eat until 730. He doesn't finish football till 830 on Thursdays. If we did everything early we wouldn't do anything of an evening. Some people have very early routines.

OutragedFromLeeds · 17/06/2014 19:54

When I say 'out' I mean out in the street. They can be in the garden until later. Even the 2yo is in the garden until 6:30pm. I wouldn't call the older ones in until 8ish as long as they were being quiet.

Original poster
Oakmaiden · 17/06/2014 19:54

OK, I will bow to the collective wisdom of Mumsnet.

I am rather making this whole child-raising lark up as I go along...

She can play out later from now on.

So - 8:45 bedtime is reasonable, no?

OP posts:
LastTango · 17/06/2014 19:55

I think you are being very unreasonable. Summer evening are MADE for playing with friends on rollerskates!! It's what memories are made of.

lovingmatleave · 17/06/2014 19:57

yes very unreasonable for a 10 year old. Fair enough to have her in for 6pm tea, but then I would let her go back out. Mine goes out till about 8.30pm at latest (but if homework has to be done this is done before they go out)then off to bed for 9-9.30pm. Light nights, good weather, fresh air and entertaining themselves outside with friends - I would prefer they are out rather than in the house.

manechanger · 17/06/2014 19:58

in school holidays definitely late nights but personally Im with you thinking that's too late. Mine are in bed at 8 and read till about 9. they don't play out in the street but often have clubs after school so have actually only got back now - so bedtime prob wont be until 8.30 tonight. dc1 is 11 year 6

WorraLiberty · 17/06/2014 19:59

I am rather making this whole child-raising lark up as I go along

Aren't we all! Grin

She'll probably sleep better too if she's burnt more energy off

atos35 · 17/06/2014 20:03

Do what you feel comfortable with, but I agree with others that 6 is early for a summer evening and its really good for kids to be out and about in the fresh air. Why not find out what time the others come in and go from there. My ds is 12 and he stays out until 8.30 on these summer evenings, 9 on a weekend evening. They are just playing football or cricket on the field at the top of our road. When he was 10 7.30 was his coming in time in the summer. I have to add he is only allowed back out after tea if he has done his homework! Why not try letting her stay out until 7pm and see how you feel and go from there?

ruddynorah · 17/06/2014 20:07

My 4.5yr old and 8 yr old come in at 7pm. Other kids on our street are out til 8pm.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 17/06/2014 20:13

Mine stay out till 7 or 7.30 on school nights in the summer. They go up to there rooms as soon as they come in and wind down in there. I'm lucky they have always been good sleepers. I wish I was.

MrsKCastle · 17/06/2014 20:19

I think YAB a bit U. My girls are 3 and 5. Obviously they don't play out in the street, but they're allowed out in the garden pretty much until their bath is run. Then it's bath, teeth, bed and story. They don't need any more winding down- they're exhausted from all the fresh air!

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 17/06/2014 20:25

8.30 lights out for our 10 year old here, but it's always a struggle...

I wish they could play out, but we are in a fairly busy part of London and no one seems to do it. We do know (some of) our neighbours and there are some children in our road but you never see them out playing or riding bikes or whatever. They could go in the garden but they get a bit bored and sick of each other after half an hour or so.

BellaVita · 17/06/2014 20:28

Yabu I'm afraid.

kelper · 17/06/2014 20:29

God i wish my DS could go out and play like that :( all his friends live about a mile away, plus there are some utter loonies living in my road who zoom up and down the road so he'd be squished :(
I remember having to go to bed at 7pm when i was about 7, and hating it in the summer when i could hear all my friends outside.
I reckon 7.30/8 on a school night is ok in the summer :)

Mini05 · 17/06/2014 20:29

Very unreasonable, y 6 pm? And why do you think 6pm is LATE?
All kids play out in the street in the summer, let's face it we don't get much and then most of that it's raining!

You seem very Victorian op, what time did you come in at her age? Bet it wasn't 6. I bet she's getting laughed at by her friends, no wonder she's moaning.
Cut her some slack! As long as she's settled down by 9.30 no problem.

Heathcliff27 · 17/06/2014 20:32

My 10 year old and 5 year old are out every single dry day. Our house is in a cul de sac with only one way in and out for cars. Large grassy area right at door. Both mine are outside as soon as homework is done so usually by 4pm. They are back in at 5.15 for dinner then out again. The 5 yr old till 6.30, bed by 7.30. The 10 yr old till 8.00, bed by 9.00. This is on school nights. Weekends entirely different. Last Friday my 10 yr old was out till 10pm although she was in out garden with her friends on the trampoline. As long as its dry and light and I can see them at all times I don't see a problem.

Whereisegg · 17/06/2014 20:35

Well done op Smile

We're all making it up as we go along btw Grin

Heathcliff27 · 17/06/2014 20:37

3 kids later and I'm still learning although I'm more laid back about things like this than I was with first child.

JustSpeakSense · 17/06/2014 20:38

I have a DD age 10. I would say, in at 5.30 - 6pm for tea, homework, school bag packed, bedroom tidy etc. and then (provided she has eaten well and is organised) she could play out until 8pm and then come in (no arguments) pjs on, quick little snack, teeth brushed and read in bed until 8.45 and then lights out.

(My DD has an older sibling so bedtimes tend to be later because of him)

We have such few sunny & light evenings in this country - once in a while won't do any harm...

wonderingsoul · 17/06/2014 20:39

I don't think your business.

My 8 year old is asleep by 730ish.

JustSpeakSense · 17/06/2014 20:39

Yes...I Agee with the previous posters, we are all. Asking it up as we go along (and following our guts tends to work mostly)

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