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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think was a a bit wrong.

264 replies

Canthisonebeused · 16/06/2014 09:35

Not sure why but this doesn't sit right with me, what are others thoughts. It's not a big deal but did bother me a bit.

7 and 8 year old girls doing handstands and cartwheels in the playground at school. Boys being silly laughing at their pants and did not die down after being told not to by playground staff. Therefore girls are sent in to put PE shorts on under their dresses.

I just think they are little girls FFS who care if their pants are showing and the boys should have been delt with. I just don't think it's a good message to sent to girls.

OP posts:
losingmybelt · 16/06/2014 23:29

I agree YoutheCat.

losingmybelt · 16/06/2014 23:34

People seem so concerned about the rights of girls, that they are failing to see that this is turning into a bit of a witchhunt against boys.

As the mother of sons I find that disturbing!

PrincessBabyCat · 16/06/2014 23:36

When I was a kid in a Catholic school we wore bike shorts under our skirts. But we were also given the option of pants and shorts with polo shirts, so there was no excuse for underwear showing. I'm also sure that my school would have dealt with both, telling the girls to wear shorts and the boys to cut the shit.

Honestly, schools should have the same uniform for both boys and girls. Just put them in slacks and a polo to avoid this sort of problem. If they're going to have girls wear skirts then they need to accept that underwear will be shown once in a while and crack down on boys being immature. They are capable of playing else where and not laughing.

5madthings · 16/06/2014 23:39

This isn't a witch hunt against boys, I have four boys and if my sons behaved like this and teased girls because they saw their knickers I would be telling them it wasn't acceptable!

The girls were playing and doing nothing wrong, they should not be having to modify their behaviour because some boys don't listen to the teacher/lunchtime supervisor and do as they are told and leave the girls alone!

Original poster
Canthisonebeused · 16/06/2014 23:40

I have no idea which boys were laughing, or their ages. Tbh I don't see the relevance of age nor hormones kicking in. I don't quite understand why that makes the actions of getting the girls to cover responsible. I may being stupid but what difference does hormones make?

OP posts:
Original poster
Canthisonebeused · 16/06/2014 23:43

It's not a witch hunt against boys one little bit. No one has vilified the boys behaviour.

OP posts:
losingmybelt · 16/06/2014 23:43

Think its me being oversensitive (and tired)!

5madthings · 16/06/2014 23:44

All that testosterone mmeans boys can't control themselves didn't you know?! Boys will be boys..

Oh wait my boys know how to behave appropriately and treat all people with respect... They have been taought to treat others as they wish to be treated themselves.

5madthings · 16/06/2014 23:46

And this shifty attitude that boys will be boys and they can't control themselves is crap and damaging to boys as well! It's demeaning and patronising to excuse bad behaviour because boys cant be expected to know any better.

Original poster
Canthisonebeused · 16/06/2014 23:46

I'm a little concerned that's what is meant but I can't believe anyone would seriously hint at that.

OP posts:
losingmybelt · 16/06/2014 23:47

At my children's school, I believe the girls wear shorts under their dresses, so maybe its more common than we realise.
I think that everybody should wear the same uniform and it would solve the problem.

5madthings · 16/06/2014 23:50

Girls cam and do wear shorts under their uniform ans that is fine if they want to.

The solution it this problem is to teach all children to be respectful to each other. We shouldnt have to stop girls wearing sskirts and dresses because some boys may laugh/tease them
If they get a glimpse of their knickers. What message does that give out... That boys can't control themselves so girls must change their appearance/behaviour... Victim blaming.

Weathergames · 16/06/2014 23:51

Don't we naturally begin to cover up as we become aware of our bodies when we hit puberty? Hmm.

YANBU OP.

TweeAintMee · 16/06/2014 23:54

Should you wish to avoid offending the easily offended, if you choose to wear dresses - regardless of age or gender, then either don't flash your behind or wear shorts - regardless of age or gender.

Original poster
Canthisonebeused · 16/06/2014 23:57

Exactly 5madthings, my nephew at 11 would be seriously offended if someone suggested he had no power over his action because he is male. He would also have no interest in laughing and giggling at a bunch of seven year old girls showing their pants. He would probably barely notice.

I think my spirited 7 year old nephew would understand that was not the right attitude towards boys. But he would probably be laughing too, though I suspect he would take a firm telling to do one and stop being so silly.

OP posts:
Katkins1 · 17/06/2014 00:10

Not read all the replies. But I send my daughter into school with shorts on under her dress. I don't know why, just seems more appropriate. She's six.

Tabby1963 · 17/06/2014 07:52

PrincessBabyCat When I was a kid in a Catholic school we wore bike shorts under our skirts. But we were also given the option of pants and shorts with polo shirts, so there was no excuse for underwear showing. I'm also sure that my school would have dealt with both, telling the girls to wear shorts and the boys to cut the shit

^^
this

5madthings · 17/06/2014 07:52

katkins of your daughter wants to wear shpets under her dress that is fine but girls should not be told they must wear shorts under their dress because some boys can't control themselves.

Tabby1963 · 17/06/2014 07:55

*Losingmybelt At my children's school, I believe the girls wear shorts under their dresses, so maybe its more common than we realise"

Yes, at our school it is the norm, and the exception when they don't.

Tabby1963 · 17/06/2014 08:06

5madthings "katkins of your daughter wants to wear shpets under her dress that is fine but girls should not be told they must wear shorts under their dress because some boys can't control themselves"

The boys behaviour in the original comment should be dealt with as well, as it is not appropriate to laugh/tease/intimidate others if they flash their underwear accidentally; it is called bullying behaviour and therefore unacceptable in a playground.

At the same time, it is merely practical for children to wear shorts (the cycling ones seem to be most popular in our school playground). They can then play all sorts of games, upsidedown if necessary.

I certainly don't ask children to wear shorts under skirts because boys can't control themselves, in my experience girls too might laugh and tease others who have flashed their underwear. It is a form of bullying and unacceptable whoever does it and to whoever it is done to.

Victim blaming? No.

lozster · 17/06/2014 09:09

I am Shock at some of the YABU comments on here. I am a child of the 70's who 1) did PE until 8 in vest and knickers 2) was made to wear gym knickers (ie knickers on thicker material) for PE at secondary which was mortifying because of sanitary towel issues 3) was quite happy to show my knickers doing handstands at 7 especially if I had a nice Holly Hobby pair I wanted my chums to see.

Showing your knickers whilst playing at 7 does not have the same meaning as showing your knickers as an adult. Little girls are innocent of the adult (sexual) connotations because they are little girls. It is depressing that they are being expected to change their normal age appropriate behaviour because of giggly boys and I am mum to one ds.

hatsybatsy · 17/06/2014 09:30

YANBU!!

I'm another child of the 70s - we did PE in pants and vest at this age!! And we were definitely still doing cartwheels and handstands (pants on show) until we left the school age 11. can't remember any of the boys even being interested.

It's a sign of the times that my own dd (age 7) feels she has to wear shorts under her summer dress. This would never have happened in my day.

All these comments about modesty and gradually learning to cover yourself up are quite shocking. These are little girls. Active little girls. My DD spends most of the summer cartwheeling on beaches in her bikini - I suppose that's wrong in some people's eyes? Immodest perhaps?

What is the world coming to??

hatsybatsy · 17/06/2014 09:33

Katkins - if wearing shorts under a dress seems more appropriate somehow for your 6 year old Shock then I assume you make her wear shorts under every summer dress she wears whether in school or not? Just in case she wants to run around/flip a cartwheel?

MargotLovedTom · 17/06/2014 09:53

Lotzer and hatsybatsy - totally agree.

Tabby1963 you've posted quite a lot now but you still haven't explained what is so shocking/disturbing/upsetting about a pair of girl's knickers showing for a brief moment whilst she does at cartwheel or handstand. What is it that so affects you that you feel the need to ban girls from these perfectly normal activities unless they are 'covered up'.

MargotLovedTom · 17/06/2014 10:10

Actually rereading your last post I suspect you'll say something about the 'bullying' from other children, in which case that is the issue on which teachers and supervisors need to focus, not whether the poor girls have got their shocking/disturbing/upsetting knickers covered up.