Oh fucking hell

[EleanorHandbasket]

The two and a half yr old keeps saying this.

I thought it was that when he said it (in context!) last night, but he's just said it again while looking for a toy.

'Wheres my train? Oh fucking hell, I've lost it'.

Oh fucking hell. What do I do, other than curb by potty mouth and try to ignore it?

A teenager said to my DD who's 5 best friend 'fuck off you ginger little cunt'. Que them screaming up the street mam, mam, MAM, MAAAMMMMMMM that girl called xx xx a GINGER CUNT.

So I go to see the girl and tell her off. Later on I tell dds friends dm what has happened out of earshot (or so I thought) , she said the cheeky little bastard, that's her who's mother is always pissed, she's a right piss head the mother.

About 2 days later I went to the shops and the girl was there with her mother. It went like this.

MAM, MAM, MAM, what, there's that girl who called xx xx a ginger cunt, Is that her piss head mam. Mam tell her piss head mam she called xx xx a ginger cunt.

What's the magic word ... Is it Bollocks?

I just spat tea all over the keyboard -

DS2's first complete sentance, declaimed in ringing tones for the whole of pre-school to enjoy and share with their parents was;
" There you are, Bear, snug as a bugger in ruggery! "

I am DYING at Ho.

Fo shizzle.

This thread is great. When my DD was two my Dad used to mind her while I was at work, taking her in his car daily. I was reversing out of DF's drive once with both him and DD in the car when DD looked over her shoulder and yelled 'get out of the bastard way' at the cars driving past. I stifled laughter and shot my DF such a look!

Officer
Love that one.
This thread has made my lunch hour.
Thanks all!

Mine are two and shout OH MY GOOD GODDDDDD whenever their twin does something naughty.

I keep saying ohmygoodgosh to get them to change, but so far, so nothing.

On the bright side, we have a swear box/Disney trip fund and we're already at £350 .

I was doing so well until "'Grandma, what's a fucking cunt? mummy won't tell me'" and now I'm on the floor.

We had an early warning with DC1 who twittered on all the time but unintelligibly to anyone other than me or DH - started with "oh bugger" in context. Luckily everyone else had no idea.

Now they say "you b-word" knowing the B word is bloody, when Dc 3(6) started saying "you f-word" I was very worried until he confidently told me the f-word was fat. Of course it is darling

Dc1 is the worst as he has lots of youngest siblings in his class who know All The Words. Poor DC4 is stuffed as she is going to be the sibling that knows everything

I really can't understand why this is funny. I think it's absolutely horrible when people swear around kids. I've got a mouth like a sewer when the need arises, but would never ever use it round my children - even the teenagers.

On the other hand, the wise-Lego child and the one commenting on the fleetingness of babyhood are great .

Heard dd1's little voice in the back of the car: "Bugger bugger bugger." Mortifying. But I managed to persuade her that there was a much naughtier word: tarnation. That worked for quite a long time.

I don't think people are deliberately swearing in front of their kids, more it's just slipped out or they think they are out of earshot. My DM never ever swears and hates it but that hasn't stopped me and my siblings swearing although I make an effort not to in front of DM as she hates it if we do. I don't swear at or in front of he kids, when a swear word has been used they are usually repeating someone else or telling me someone has called them something. DD1 a teenager told DD2 to piss off in a different room to me. DD3 came in shouting DD1 is being naughty she said Piss Off. so she knows it is wrong but said it to tell me. If a teenager in the street calls her a cunt the she knows he word from them. I detest the word cunt and it's
definitely not a word I use. If I stub my toe I might let an oww ffs out in the heat if the moment in front of them.

Of course I swear in front of my child on purpose

Looking after 2.5 year old niece, borrowed DSis's car which has her car seat etc and happens to be a bit of an old wreck, and was constantly stalling. Got a positively glacial look from DSis about a week later when we were both in her car, and it stalled (again)....DN said "Oh for FUCKS sake mummy, SHIT car"

My babysitting services are no longer welcome

My dd1 was very speech delayed so really wasn't prepared when, at 2.5, she dropped her lolly in the footwell of mil's car and exclaimed, clear as a bell, "Oh fuck it!". Thankfully mil saw the funny side and I curbed my language after that.

My own mother used to delight in pointing out the 'big clock' as they went into town, knowing full well how it would come out.

When my daughter was an outgoing and VERY loud three year old I took her to the circus and explained to her about candy floss and popcorn etc and said she could choose something to have in the interval. Finally we reached the head of the queue and she yelled to the man in the kiosk "HELLO MAN, PLEASE CAN I HAVE SOME COCKPORN'! There was quite a lot of sniggering from behind us.

Other than that I'm lucky that there has been no swearing so far and she is nearly seven. She still thinks swear words are called Squarewords and when she comes home and says kids at school have used the 'F' word or the 's' word she means Flippin Heck and Stupid! (((((Teeny tiny village schools))))

My DS aged 2 started singing "I'm the king of the castle, you're the rocky arsehole". I ignored. I joined in the singing with the correct words... to absolutely no avail. The following day all the children at nursery were singing his version. Then suddenly a week later he sang the correct words and that was it. Over.

When I was about 3 or 4 I was walking through town with my mum, holding her hand. She always chatted away to me as if I was her pal, so when we saw a lady coming towards us she said 'Oh, there's that Mrs X, she's such a nosey old bugger'. Mrs X comes up, says hello to mum, looks down at me and says 'Oh Reg, aren't you getting big! How old are you now?' And of course I said 'My mum says you are a nosey old bugger'. My mother, trying to get out of it, just dug a deeper hole, telling me off and saying 'Noooo, I meant the OTHER Mrs X'.

I fail to find this at all funny, I'm afraid.

Yes, flame me all you like but I take a dim view of children swearing - it shows that their parents lack the basic skill of moderating their language according to their environment. When in the Army, I effed and blinded along with all my colleagues but when at drinks receptions or meetings with senior officers, funnily enough one thought about what one was saying and changed tone and language to suit the surroundings.

Given that swear words are only appropriate when spoken from the mouths of adults, one could make a strong case that exposing children to them at an early age is a form of abuse.

So thanks, everyone - yours are clearly the sort of children I have to try to keep mine from when they start school. How very common.

Off you fuck then, cuntychops.

Dropping the occasional swear in your child's earshot is abuse? Abuse?

Jesus wept.

TrueGent I go to an awful lot of cocktail parties in my life and it is true that I do not swear at them.

However, I have never had an actual cocktail party in my car when I have just been cut off by a non-indicating white van man at a roundabout.

Off you fuck then, cuntychops bears repeating.

You pop off and make your strong case then True judgey twat Gent and we'll carry on making you feel superior because that's obviously the only reason you posted

My DN used to ask for 'bloody apples'

Note the defensive responses. People know I have a point and react accordingly.

You're right

we should all calm the fuck down and act like you've instructed

Thanks for posting :)