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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think she should have said something?

142 replies

janesxx · 14/06/2014 23:33

so I saw my friend in the street and stopped to talk briefly, while we were talking this little boy (about 5/6) came out of nowhere, ran up to my 1 year old son, grabbed his head with both hands and kissed him on the lips!!

I was totally in shock at the way he grabbed him, his mother then walked past and said "aw he loves babies" and carried on walking.. I wish I had have said something now.. AIBU to think she should have told him NOT to grab random babies and kiss them on the mouth!?

bearing in mind my son has an autoimmune diseases and is extremely vulnerable to getting ill off germs (he has to have everything sterilized still and therefore I dont even kiss him on the lips!)

OP posts:
TheReluctantCountess · 15/06/2014 00:16

I agree; cover him if contact is such an issue.

mrssmith79 · 15/06/2014 00:17

A boy of 5 that doesn't have impeccable social etiquette skills!? I don't believe it for a moment, it's unheard of Shock

Original poster
janesxx · 15/06/2014 00:18

I never thaught id have to cover up his buggy because I never expected something like that to happen! I take all advice from his GP about how to protect him and not once did I think to cover up his buggy, especially in this heat

OP posts:
mrssmith79 · 15/06/2014 00:19

Laurie it's not a button it's a thread to post 'concerns' on. Possibly in Site Stuff or Mumsnet Stuff.

hashtagwhatever · 15/06/2014 00:19

Why didn't you say something to the child's mother yourself?

Original poster
janesxx · 15/06/2014 00:20

all of you who are criticizing ME for somereason need to take a step back because if you would have been in my exact pair of bloody shoes you would have wanted the mother to correct her son.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 15/06/2014 00:21

Nope, it's just you

Everyone else realised it's normal for 5 year olds to kiss babies without needing correction

Original poster
janesxx · 15/06/2014 00:22

hmm.. not really considering some commented saying otherwise

OP posts:
Original poster
janesxx · 15/06/2014 00:24

maybe if they know the baby but not random ones in the street, my son isn't even able to be vaccinated because of his condition maybe that child could have been poorly I wouldnt know!?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 15/06/2014 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LaurieFairyCake · 15/06/2014 00:26

That's right

You wouldn't know what illnesses humans wandering the street had

Leaving the fact that you are responsible for keeping your own kid safe

So do that

Original poster
janesxx · 15/06/2014 00:27

you think that I made this up? haha okay.. and if your implying that im lying about my sons condition aswell then you need to sort it out because that is sick!

OP posts:
yellowrose2728 · 15/06/2014 00:27

I'm sorry but -depending on the severity of the illness - I would have covered my baby. If he was in a pushchair, surely,you would have seen this child long before to be able to move? It doesn't take a lot to say, "sorry but ds is poorly" unless you had your back to the approaching child.

A small child has no way of knowing how ill your baby is, so the 'blame' would lie with you.

Yabu.

Bowlersarm · 15/06/2014 00:29

Well OP, now you know that young children can be unpredictable you need to take steps to protect your son when you are out and about.

LaurieFairyCake · 15/06/2014 00:29

What condition ?

Why isn't he in a buggy?

Why isn't he covered?

You said the GP told you what precautions to take - what were they?

Why didn't they include precautions to take while moving about in normal life on the streets where people with illnesses live?

yellowrose2728 · 15/06/2014 00:31

I'm assuming that such illness would cause you (or ds) to be under a consultant? Have you contacted them? What have they said in regards to this?

BoysiesBack · 15/06/2014 00:31

My 12 year old would probably run up to a random baby and kiss them. Or a random child/man/woman/dog/worm... (He actually has kissed worms on many occasions Smile)

He has very severe LDs and ASD, no understanding of social boundaries etc and is extremely affectionate to anyone and everyone.

I understand that your son's condition makes you worry, it would me too, but you appear to be more angry about the mum not reprimanding the kid rather than concerned for your son's health, which I think is why most other posters have been a bit Hmm.

It happened, it's over, there's nothing to be done about it now. Shrug your shoulders and forget it.

Original poster
janesxx · 15/06/2014 00:34

the condition he has means that his immune system doesnt recognise the diference between foreign bacteria and normal body cells, meaning any time he gets the slightest bit of bacteria in his system his blood cells attack normal bodily tissue aswell as the foreign bacteria causing bleeding into the skin aswell as all his organs being attacked, it is called HSP and he WAS in a buggy not one health professional once told me to cover my buggy up!

OP posts:
sugaryonthesurface · 15/06/2014 00:35

I do not think that if my child kissed a child in the same situation like that while the other childs mother was talking to someone,that I would make a big fuss of telling them off in front of you,especially if you didnt say or show any sign of being bothered. Yes I would probably say while walking away " we dont kiss people we dont know" I wouldnt be able to make the presumption that another child had any issue with their immune system by looking at them either so its not fair to judge the mother. The child was being nice and loving, the world needs a bit more niceness.

Original poster
janesxx · 15/06/2014 00:36

yes yellowrose he sees an immunologist and I would only have contacted him if he HAD a flair up because of this which he DIDNT but he COULD HAVE. the kissing wasnt even the main issue it was the way he grabbed his head and pulled him towards him anyways! !

OP posts:
Original poster
janesxx · 15/06/2014 00:38

I didnt want her to tell him off I was just thinking she should have told him not to do that! im only saying this because her saying aw he loves babies and smiling at him is more or less encouraging him!

OP posts:
MrsKCastle · 15/06/2014 00:38

Bloody hell. OP, I'm not really sure why people are so accepting of this. I actually think the mother should have told the boy not to approach and kiss random strangers. He may only have been 5 or 6 but unless he has SEN he is old enough to know that you don't do that.

I wonder if the boy was actually younger than he looked- it does seem slightly bizarre for a 5 year old. But then if the mother only says 'aw that's sweet' then I guess he won't be taught appropriate boundaries.

LaurieFairyCake · 15/06/2014 00:39

Ok, well that means that it will clear up inside a month

So he should be taking precautions for that month and stay at home or be in places where he is covered.

Original poster
janesxx · 15/06/2014 00:41

THANKYOU MRSKCASTLE. I should have known not to post in this section where you just get picked apart and accused of lying about your son having a disease, all I was asking was she told him not to do that, BECAUSE some babies like mine do have problems which is a perfect example of why she should have told him no..

OP posts:
Original poster
janesxx · 15/06/2014 00:42

what are you talking about a month? HSP is a self limiting disease (my son has had it for 9 months now) and I have spoken to mothers who have children who have had it 10 years!

OP posts:
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