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[HarrisonsMammy]

Am I being unreasonable? DP say he will leave if I get an account I haven't had one for almost a year and all my family well most are living away from me so I hardly see them we have an 12 week old and he will leave if I get one?

Feeling better thank you I appreciate all your advice ladies!

Harrison's, I honestly believe you are better off without this basterd. He cheated on you whilst pregnant and is a control freak.... I understand you love him now/ but in a few months you will not.

You will be happier on your own.

Wonder if he has an FB account?

Please be careful OP. Leaving may well be the right thing to do but it could make you very vulnerable. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all, and I agree you need advice from Women's Aid or similar. If you google the word IDVA and where you live, you might find details of an independent domestic violence advocate who will be happy to have a chat with you without pressure or expectations.

You need to think WHO is more important - your partner or your baby (assuming Harrison is his name?)

You are in an abusive relationship and it is against the law and he can get charged with domestic violence (it doesn't have to be physical, emotional abuse, which is what he is doing, is just as wrong and a criminal offence now).

Why do you love him?

You are putting him before your needs and your child's. What you WANT isn't always what you NEED.

I do fear that at 21 and controlling, he will turn violent. We read these stories ALL THE TIME in the press - partner abusive and controlling, wife/girlfriend frightened to leave, child gets hurt ...

I am not saying he has been physically abusive to you or your child, but the signs are there that he could be and has the potential.

Get out NOW. Go to your mums. Your health and safety is more important than bricks and mortar and your child deserves better. You know that.

Reading your post I felt like it could have been written by me a few years ago. I had a baby with my ex, was with him from 15, had a baby at 18 and didnt get away from him until I was 21. Looking back, I wish I had left as soon as I had my DD rather than wasting another 2 years with a violent, cheating, controlling bully.

I know you love him but you deserve better.

He made it very hard to leave but it was the best thing I ever did. We have been apart for 10 yeard now and I am married to an amazing man. I am having the life my ex convinced me I would never have and didnt deserve without him, whereas he is still alone, and barely has a relationship with DD.

Perhaps he doesn't want you to have a facebook account as it will most likely identify you as his girlfriend and make it easy for people to contact you and let you know what he's been up to?

I wouldn't hang around to find out. Sod the house / flat, it's bricks and mortar. Get back to your mums and start over again.

A home is somewhere you feel safe with people that care for you. It is not bricks and mortar.

Speak to someone in rl about what is going on, women's aid is a good idea. If you told us he had other redeeming features maybe everyone would be advising you differently but I can't see this situation getting any better for you or your baby.

Carothers, I understand what you are saying but this is not the thread

Caruthers you need a separate thread, alternatively support the people who need it. Read OPs other posts here, this man is trying to force her away from her family. Deleting one twitter post is not comparable.

Not meaning to sound horrible OP but this relationship sounds doomed to failure from everything you've said. Get out of there before he destroys your life and confidence. When you are feeling better you will be able to meet someone who treats you and your son the way you deserve to be treated.

Am shocked... I can only echo the general consensus from the other posters on this thread. You & your baby deserve so much better in life

Everything's ok when he's happy and we do what he wants but as soon as it me that's asks for something he really doesn't like it!

OP, what will happy when the baby 'upsets' him? Because babies are known for their tact & wanting to keep people happy.

And it is exhausting trying to keep an adult happy 24/7, while trying to 'train' your child to do the same.

I really do think this is a bad place for you & your baby to be.

Please listen to the great advice here. This is NO life to live for anyone. And it won't get better. It never does, regardless of any promises he may make you.

are NOT known

I guess I'm just scared of being on my own

being on your own is not as scary as the first time that blow comes raining down on you or your child.

caruthers Can you not see that this is an abusive relationship? What the op here is going through needs addressing, it doesn't need comparing to another thread.

Wonder if he has an FB account? Quite possible & is probably trying to prevent op from getting one as he has a lot of secrets on it.

Love doesn't make everything alright OP, it doesn't act as an excuse or reason and it should never be something that drags you back.

Read back over everything you've said and decide if you wnt that, and more intense, for the rest of your life. Men like this won't change- not don't, won't. They are happy the way they are and happy dragging you and any DC you have down.

It's horrible but while pregnant you are in a better position to get him to leave then after birth when your hormones are more all over and you really feel the need for support. Speak to women's aid, plan to throw him out, get the locks changed and take control back in one massive sweep. If you have any close friends, perhaps they could help you plan.

If you keep him, it won't get better it will always get worse.

If you lose him, it won't get better straight away but over time it will.