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[HarrisonsMammy]

Am I being unreasonable? DP say he will leave if I get an account I haven't had one for almost a year and all my family well most are living away from me so I hardly see them we have an 12 week old and he will leave if I get one?

You're on here and have started this thread because you know things are not right.

I know it's hard to hear this but you are 18 years old and us old gimmers on here have seen it all over the decades. He's not going to magically change. He doesn't want to change. And no matter how small you make yourself to please him it will never be enough. There will always be something that he takes issue with to keep you in your place.

Will he leave if you ask him to?

If he will then tell him to pack his stuff and go, or pack it for him. If not go to your mums for a few nights and tell him to go whilst you are gone. If he won't, can you get the police involved if its your home and he refuses to leave? I don't know btw.

I know yous are all telling me to leave and I want to but it's just so hard when you love someone so much and you don't get nothing back:/

did you see the link to the freedomprogramme? Can you afford the £10 to do it online?

You're not committed to doing anything just because we say so. You don't have to do anything if you are not ready but maybe if you follow that course it will help you gather your thoughts.

He will only get worse
You do not want your son thinking this is how to treat women in the future

Please ask him to leave or you take your baby to your mums

Exactly, you get nothing back. He is not going to give you what you want from him. You are worth more than that. It is easy for us to say but its clear from your posting that you do want him gone.

Do it like a plaster, quick and painful then it gets better. (Yes crap analogy, sorry).

You need to get out of this relationship. It will be hard but you will NEVER regret splitting up with him. You will only regret how much energy and time you put into trying to please him.

Yes, he will probably be with someone else by the weekend and it will hurt but give it time and you will see him do exactly the same to the next one. You will see him for the pathetic weak little shit he is.

Constantly checking your own behaviour for things that might annoying him is exhausting and not a life. Trying to constantly please someone you love to receive the tiniest bit of love back is utterly destroying. Don't let him do this to you.

No. I can't afford it but thanks for the suggestion

There was a thread on here a few days ago about a bloke who was told off by his wife for posting something on Twitter that SHE didn't like.

The poster got a lot of support and backslapping.

OP I wouldn't take relationship advice from the posters on this or any other forum where there is a member list so heavily weighted in favour of one sex.

Good luck though.

Personally I thought she was being very OTT about the tweet but it was one tweet, not being on twitter at all. Very disengenuous comparison, there, caruthers.

wafflyversatile I don't think it was at all.

She was a control freak and had high fives from most posters because she was female.

Using the same formulae the OP here should have been told just to accept the criticism and do as her partner wants.

Dangerous and irresponsible, Caruthers. You don't know much about domestic violence or risk I take it.

PootlewasthebestFlump Don't patronise me.

I offered a comparison where a Woman TOLD a Man what to do and he did it, she exerted control.

Then got a high five from many posters on here.

Could admin move this and the Twitter thread over to Relationships because quite obviously everybody needs to leave everybody else because they are controlling.

The hall monitors haven't noticed this is in AIBU yet but have put more significance to this OP and not stopped sniggering at the poor sap who's wife told him to delete a twitter post because she didn't like it.

Yeah.

Let's stick to the point of the thread. Lots of serious red flags here meaning an 18 year old and her baby at risk. Make helpful suggestions if you can, not point scoring ones.

If you have a problem with the response on the tweet thread then address it there. Don't sabotage another thread.

PootlewasthebestFlump Are you proposing different advice for different people because of what sex they are?

This isn't point scoring because someone is pointing out that the LTB posters read a lot into very little.

wafflyversatile Errmm...no!!

Who are you telling what to do?

It's not Twitter you know.

OP.

You need to find the money to do the freedom programme.

You need to read about emotional abuse.

He won't change while you are together so you have no alternative but to leave him.

If you contact Women's Aid they might be able to get you legal support to get him out of your home.

If you tell him to leave make sure you have someone with you. These men can get dangerous.

Well you carry on with your schtick and we'll carry on trying to support the OP.

How about going over a checklist, Harrisonsmummy?

www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/

There are loads more if you google. Read up about forms of abusive relationships and see if they fit your circumstances. Most times not all the behaviours listed are present. Just have a look and a read when you have the privacy to do so. then delete from your browsing history. Also make sure you always log off mumsnet and don't use autofill.

To late he read the whole thing and still didn't seem to give a flying fuck sorry for the swearing just angry!!

Did you show him? That tactic has never worked that I've seen.

I suggest you change your name on here and quit this thread. Also not caring tonight doesn't mean he won't be angry tomorrow or the next day.

Be careful.

Where do you live op? I would love to help you if you live near by? You and your baby deserve so much better

How are you this morning OP?