My doctor told me to have sex!

[AngryBeaver]

I have a 5 week old baby.

Her: "have you had sex yet?"
Me: no?!
Her: "Well, you'd better get on with it. Use it or lose it"

Wibu to chin her one?

holiday - that's interesting. the dr never suggested that tho when she prescribed it. My physio prescribed olive oil massaged into the scar every day, which seemed to work quite well and i had no soreness. i can't imagine the numbing thing not leaving you quite sore as you wouldn't be able to feel when it was rubbing/stretching too much/quickly. Also as i said, it would also have been academic as i DH couldn't get near me due to it hurting him too much too. Perhaps we both should have numbed up

WOW A lot of misogynistic GPS out there.

And before anyone starts I am aware there are some good ones too.

I would complain. Point out to the doctor that some husbands if they heard that a doctor spoke to their wife like that, the husband could come to the surgery (or hospital) and be aggressive or violent.

Did you really mean to suggest the problem with all of this is it could aggravate men, Saints? The GP only really needs to.recognise that their attitude treats the woman like an object for her DP to achieve an orgasm with, rather than an actual person.

Well, just look at you! Some women let themselves go after having babies, but you look fabulous! Flat tummy and very perky breasts. Well done you!"

I don't think flat tummy and pert breasts are anything you would be responsible for anyway!? Genetic lottery surely?

i'd feel really uncomfortable if a medical professional commented on my 'very perky breasts'. how is that anything medical. I remember my midwife going on about how i'd got my figure back and a flat tummy and thinking 'ummm okaaayyy, not massively relevant in this instance is it' as she checked my stitches. Comments like that make you feel self conscious when you are already in a vulnerable state.

Just an aside, due to hormone changes/ surges post birth you are very very fertile in the first 6-8 weeks post birth.

That's why midwives/ GPs should ask about contraception, however how they ask is a whole different matter

YANBU OP, what an idiot. Next time if it comes up ask her directly 'sorry, what exactly would I lose?' She needs to get some empathy.

My sister was in tears after her first one with DS1, the doctor made her feel like she was being wimpy- her ex agreed with the doctor, even worse. Thankfully her now-DH is completely different and would be horrified.

My sister was dreading seeing her doctor but her doctor went off on maternity leave early (see how she likes feeling pressure after 6 weeks, might make her think for later patients). She brought up 'I haven't had sex yet' to the young male doctor and he was pretty confused why she had suddenly blurted it out. When she explained to him, he was pretty blunt and told her that if something over 8 pounds had slowly forced its way out of his body over 18 hours then he'd never be having sex again so kudos to her for going for the second baby. He urged her to write an email about it and told her that not having sex wasn't a problem at all and he would not say anything like the other doctor -ever. He told her if, later, she felt it was a problem then she could come back but the ball was in her court when she was ready.

My sister's now transferred her whole family over to him instead.

I'm a GP. I always ask about intercourse at the postnatal/baby check as a lead into the chat about contraception. I ask about stitches, soreness & any leftover bleeding / first period. I ask about bladder & bowel control as well, also mood, particularly low mood.

As a mother, I didn't feel like sex for months - certainly not before I'd stopped breastfeeding completely.

I've heard of the extra stitch before, referred to as the "daddy stitch", although I thought it was some sort of urban legend.

If asked such a question, I'd be suggesting that they stitch their silly fucking mouth instead. The whole community would benefit then!

I don't remember being asked. It would have been academical anyway, since I was near psychotic with pnd after my emc. Had I been asked, I think I would have burst into hysterical laughter and continued to giggle whilst simultaneously crying for the rest of the day, at least.

I think it was something like 5 months before we had sex, and only had sex a couple of times that year and the next. Even now (ds is 4.8) we sometimes don't do it for a couple of months. Ds is most likely going to be an only child, because I couldn't go through all that again. My scar still stings sometimes and the area is, paradoxically, both numb and sensitive.

Although, I now fancy the idea of answering any questions about contraception with "it's ok, we have bum sex".

I fucking hate hiw cobtraception us tge woman's problem, anyway, unless you use condoms or get vasectomy. I'd like to see dh take a pill that will make him fat and moody..

LOL Well, it's been about 10 weeks and we still haven't done any PIV sex. But I'm about ready to get back into it now.

But I cleaned the house yesterday and DH tried "rewarding" me with trying to get it on. Seriously. Told him nothing was sexier than a man taking baby duty and finishing up the living room. I guess to be fair though before DD we were doing it multiple times a week.

How horrible :( after I push this one and only child out, I pittt the Dr that even mentions sex again!!

Oh and toys I recently left a registrar very red faced, she asked me about constipation and said if I was having problems to ask the gp for laxatives, I just replied "no it's ok, I just take it up the bum, it unclog everything bit like a plunger" I said it in a way that was OBVIOUSLY a joke, but she just blushed closed my maternity notes started bumbling and said goodbye I was only joking but she didn't give me time to explain. DP's shoulders were shaking up and down as he tried to contain his laughter Ooooops

Boudica

Classic, Boudicca, good for you

Witch out of interest, how do you frame your questions?

Because if someone said to me, "it is very common for women who've had episiotomies to have pain during sex. Do you have any problems like that to discuss?" .... I'd be fine as I'd see the logic.

If a GP simply asked, "are you having sex?" I'd tell them to mind their own. I don't discuss my sex life or contraception with my GP as I'm quite capable of organising both by myself.

Them again, I am a chippy fucker

Can't even do the "alternative" due to the pg-induced piles!

Wow. Just No,

I remember being asked at my 6 week check if I had thought about contraception. I cried with laughter and said I thought pushing out an over 9lb baby, forceps delivery and third degree tearing might get me through the next 25 years.

Horrified at the the numbing cream prescription

Post-partum air embolism is a real thing.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/183990.stm

But it's very rare.

I was asked at my 20 week check (20 weeks pregnant) about contraception. I just about pissed myself laughing and said I'd given up on contraception over a year previously - hence pregnancy.

Poor MW said she had to ask and could I fill in a questionnaire! I thought she was joking. Still not sure about the reasoning behind that tbh. And I declined to fill in the questionnaire...

I am in at the pressure from doctors, I wish they had a way to simulate trying to push a football out of your fanny, all doctors dealing with pregnant ladies and new mothers should have to try it before commenting. Mrs koala that is awful :(

My GP has never asked, just said you can when you feel ready. It was 5 weeks before we tried after dd1, but then we waited another 3 weeks as it was too painful and 10 weeks after dd2 after two EMCS after pushing, ventouse and forceps attempts.

My consultant did ask if I had at the 6 week review after ds' birth, but she was right to as I had a hysterectomy after his birth so may have risked an infection. We waited 3 months after this birth.

I think it is quite normal to be asked about sex and contraception at the 6 week check. I think I knew the question was coming so probably brought it up myself. Actually with dd I got them to put a coil in there and then as I'd heard it was easier as the cervix was still open.

PMSL at use it or lose it. Although I think couples who wait until they both really feel like it, may be waiting upwards of 18 years......sometimes you just need to get on with it.

I think it's pretty essential that both parties enjoy sex and are equally happy to do it. I wouldn't lie back and think of England, just because then I might miss some magical (imaginary) window of "use it or lose it".