My doctor told me to have sex!

[AngryBeaver]

I have a 5 week old baby.

Her: "have you had sex yet?"
Me: no?!
Her: "Well, you'd better get on with it. Use it or lose it"

Wibu to chin her one?

[MrsCosmopilite]

I wasn't asked about whether I was having sex. The MW who came to do the six-week check asked me what I'd be using for contraception.
"A punch in the face" was what I told her.

I had an EMCS so it was some time...

MrsK that is absolutely disgusting and definitely worthy of complaint.

[LoonvanBoon]

Shocked at some of the things on this thread & especially MrsKoala's experience - that's just appalling. And AngryBeaver, that whole conversation with your GP sounds weird in the extreme, & would have made me very uncomfortable.

I wasn't asked anything about sex, either. I was asked about contraception by my GP at some point, & remember thinking even that was a bit of a cheek. I was 31 when I had my twins, it was my first & only pregnancy & prior to that I'd only ever discussed contraception with a GP at my own instigation. It seemed a weird time for a GP to bring it up, though he justified it with the "some people don't know you can get pregnant if you're BF" line.

[cardamomginger]

How vile. I'm so sorry. I think both OP and MrsK are justified in complaining, should they wish to. Appalling.

[lottieandmias]

'A punch in the face'

[ShineSmile]

That's appalling. I would have been seriously mortified.

[GreenPetal94]

It's not a great way to put it, but it is ideal to aim to get back to having sex before it becomes a big deal IMHO. If you try at 6 weeks and it hurts then leave it longer. But once you have had sex again its one less thing to stress over. My doctor thought it was sensible to at least try before the six week check so I could tell her if there were physical issues.

[ShineSmile]

I was told at my six week check to not have sex for a while, as the GP could tell the area had not fully healed and I was still in pain.

[DamnBamboo]

I had sex much sooner than 6weeks with all three of mine, because I wanted to!

It's insane that people think you should have to wait until 6 weeks until your HCP says it's 'ok' any more than you should have to as 6 weeks because you are expected to.

[AnnaLegovah]

Did nobody else have the 'what contraception are you going to use' conversation when still in hospital? DD was a day old when one of the midwives turned up for that little chat. I was very as obviously the thought hadn't even entered my head.

Dont recall having the conversation at the 6 week check although we may well have done.

Very at some of the experiences here.

[OrangeMochaFrappucino]

But Rainbow, you can see a doctor any time - it's not like the six week check is your only opportunity! My surgery don't even do six week checks as a matter of routine - they send a letter saying only make an appointment if you have concerns, otherwise make an appointment with the nurse to discuss contraception when you want to. So rather than setting an arbitrary deadline, you contemplate it when you feel ready.

As an aside - how insulting to the men concerned to assume they'd be happy to have sex with someone who had to numb themselves in advance! What kind of partner would do that?!

[Sallystyle]

I have five children and have never been asked if I have had sex after birth.

They used to ask me if I am pooing ok, but never mentioned sex.

I don't think I had it before 6 weeks as I was scared of getting air in my vagina and dying. I don't know if there is any truth in that though

[ShineSmile]

I didn't get 'the chat' but overheard everyone on the ward getting the chat. Probably heard the conversation about 10 times!

At that point I was thinking there's no chance you are ever going anywhere near me DH ...

[madbutnormal]

Never got asked with any of mine!

[Casmama]

I had discussed with my GP at my eight week check that my episiotomy stitches had burst and been told by the midwife that they wouldn't re stitch. I explained that it was painful to sit down and asked how long she thought it would take to heal, after examining me she said about a month.

Then she asked"how is your sex life?" I was horrified as was my dh!

[MrsKoala]

I remember the MW on the ward (i was kept in for a week) constantly 'reminding' me that bfing wasn't effective contraception and i was thinking 'no, but severe tearing and double incontinence is tho!'

Did anyone else get the 'extra stitch for the Husband' ? i was sewn up quite tight and was uncomfortable (in fact that delayed it for ages too, as it hurt DH) and when i mentioned it to a couple of HV and a nurse i got a 'that'll be the extra stitch for your DH' type comment. WTF!

[steff13]

I've had three kids, and none of my doctors have ever asked me if I'd been having sex. At the 6-week postpartum check ups, I was given the "all clear," to have sex. Of course, the longest I ever waited after giving birth was 4 weeks, so they were too late. ;)

[GreenPetal94]

Jelly, I know you can see a doctor anytime. But it is harder for a doctor to reassure a woman she is "totally ok down there" if the woman hasn't tried to have sex. Doctors want to pick up problems earlier not later but don't like doing internal exams when what they want to know is if there is pain on intercourse. So I had loads of stiches but when I could report I'd had sex they didn't start doing internal exams, which I was happy with.

[steff13]

Did anyone else get the 'extra stitch for the Husband' ? i was sewn up quite tight and was uncomfortable (in fact that delayed it for ages too, as it hurt DH) and when i mentioned it to a couple of HV and a nurse i got a 'that'll be the extra stitch for your DH' type comment. WTF!

Oh my goodness! That's awful. Was she just making a jokey comment, or was she being truthful that that was why they did it?

[Downamongtherednecks]

I thought you were at risk of dying from an air embolism if you have sex less than six weeks after giving birth -- and that's aside from the other other traumas your body has been through. My DH went a bit "madonna complex" after I had the DC, so never thought about it until much later on.

[Fakebook]

[steff13]

I thought air embolisms were caused by blowing into the vagina, not by regular intercourse. Regardless, it's extremely rare. I'm sure I do a dozen things every day that are more likely to kill me. Driving a car, taking a shower (slip and fall accidents in the bathroom), etc.

I felt ready for sex earlier than six weeks, some people don't even at six weeks. I think you just have to do what you feel comfortable with.

[WiggleGinger]

Hooray I'm not the I my one!!! My dr (male) said this to me at my 6wk check.
I just out it down to him being a man!!!
I was all FFS! In my own time thanks mate!!!!!

[PiratePanda]

Sex? What's that? (My DS is nearly 4...)